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Awful dreams about my dad


CCKline

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Yesterday I took a nap with my kids and had a dream that I was back in my dad's hospital room talking to him when he woke up. It was a wonderful dream, but when I woke up, it was awful.

Last night I dreamed that I went with him to the doctor and they told him that his stomach was "dying". Ironic because by the time he died, some of his organs were becoming necrotic (dying). It was an awful dream...

I've been telling my husband that I felt like once the holidays were finally over, it would probably start hitting me that he's really gone. Is this the beginning of that? Why am I having these dreams all of a sudden....3 weeks and 1 day after losing him?

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I'm still having nightmares about finding my Dad. It's horrible, sleep is where you are supposed to feel safe and recharge and when that is interrupted it's disturbing. I think that's why those "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies scared me so much as a kid. You're completely vulnerable in your sleep. It's equally terrifying when your subconscious is the monster.

You are probably right, you had a delayed reaction to what happened. It's a shock and apparently this is normal. Hopefully you can have some better dreams. I've been told to drink some chamomile tea before I try to sleep that it'll relax my mind. I don't know if this works or not. It could just be some old wive's tale but I'll share with you the craziness that I've been told.

Best of luck with your dreams. I wish I could write more that would help.

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I too, have very vivid and terrifying dreams. Sometimes sleep is a welcome comfort and sometimes it is something that I dread all day long. I do agree with Robb, I drink chamomile tea before bed and it seems to help a little. I usually wake up at least 3 or 4 times in the night. The strange thing is that even though I absolutely hate lying in bed left alone with my thoughts, I would give anything to stay there all day long. The worst part for me is mornings when I realize my new reality all over again and my heart starts to race out of control.

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I agree with smac entirely. Lying in bed not drifting off to sleep with all those thoughts racing is torture. And waking up and realizing that your life wasn't just some sick joke is hard. I had a few nice dreams about my Dad and I can't tell what's worse; the ones where I see his final image or the good ones. I wake up in shock and horror from the first but I cry from the latter because I miss the good times so much. I'll tell you one thing, thank pharmaceutical companies for Ambien. I'm an insomniac and have been for most of my adult life and pre-Dad's death I couldn't fall asleep, now I don't think I'd ever sleep again if I didn't have that prescription. It sucks to rely on drugs to do things our bodies should do normally but it sucks worse without them available.

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BreathofAngel

Yesterday I took a nap with my kids and had a dream that I was back in my dad's hospital room talking to him when he woke up. It was a wonderful dream, but when I woke up, it was awful.

Last night I dreamed that I went with him to the doctor and they told him that his stomach was "dying". Ironic because by the time he died, some of his organs were becoming necrotic (dying). It was an awful dream...

I've been telling my husband that I felt like once the holidays were finally over, it would probably start hitting me that he's really gone. Is this the beginning of that? Why am I having these dreams all of a sudden....3 weeks and 1 day after losing him?

I am truly sorry for your loss. When a person passes on, those who were the closest to them tend to have flashbacks and memories of things that happened during their times together and that is a natural process whereby we reminisce about the good and the bad. This is because the mind has not disconnected from them even though they are no longer in physical body. The mind will also present the bad things or things that are perceived to be bad due to remembrance of the not-so-good side of a person's illness. Thus, the subconscious mind will allow such thoughts to surface and one needs to take the good with the not-so-good. In a dream or nightmare, it is often hard to turn off what is happening and the only thing one can really do is wake up from it, get up and perhaps walk a little bit or take a drink of water, etc. anything to get the mind off of what was just happening in the "dream".

The worries that continue from the loss can also trigger such dreams. When one ponders during the day, even if with an idle thought, on something that happened that was displeasing to learn or know about a loved one the mind can retain that thought and cause it to surface in the form of a dream. It is still quite new to you since he has not been gone that long thus, things are still quite fresh in your mind that can act as a trigger to bring things about during the dream state.

Prayer is always the best when encountering such uncomfortable occurrences because it is communication with God, thus the Light and the Source. Surrounding yourself with good prayers just before bed is also good. And praying for those dearly departed also helps their soul and spirit in many ways!

I hope that you will soon start having beautiful dreams instead and that you will wake up refreshed and thinking back on the beautiful things that happened between you that will make you feel less pain.


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I completely agree with Always with Jesus in My Heart, prayer works wonders. Like you I struggled and still do occasionally with dreams of my dad, especially in the hospital or even at the funeral home. Some of these dreams were happy and others not so much, in the sense that they made me miss him all over again. In one of the early dreams my dad told me he loved me and that I could let it all go and give it to God now. I have been trying to do that ever since, some days are harder than others but I know that he is happier now and no longer in pain. I pray each night and I find that God is faithful to take away the bad dreams and leave only the good.

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I had terrible dreams too after my dad died. I dreamt my organs were shutting down and I couldn't speak and woke up crying. After that I went to my doctor who gave me Ativan to help me sleep. It does help but I can't even think about getting into bed until I feel the effect of the meds. Inhave tried to not take the meds at night and I stay up trying to think of all the things I could have done differently. I wold definitely reccomend sleeping meds or even Tylenol pm. Best of luck for a good nights rest!

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