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Merry Christmas to all


kendi

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Merry Christmas to all!!! I would like to share a Christmas memory. I miss Kenny so much, and tonight we are doing Christmas today because I am working tomorrow. I sit here and can just imagine how it would be if he was here, I would be cooking, Kenny would be snuggled up with his blanket on the couch, his dog beside him. and the kids running around bugging us to open at least one present. Kenny saying if you don't hush you won't open any and me laughing. While I would cook Kenny would come up behind me and kiss me on the back of the neck and send chills all over. I would pick at him and say stop, he would say he didn't do that and I must be thinking of my boyfriend. I tell him no buddy this is all your fault no one has ever done this to me and you still can after 11 years. Memories is all I have left and thank God everyone of them is great Kenny was my Honey Bunches of Oats and my love of my life. Even though he is not here in person he is always in my heart to stay!!! I love that man and he was the great husband and father I could have ever asked for. I so hope everyone here has a great Christmas and keep our loved ones safe in our hearts and help them find peace in heaven knowing we are okay here on earth.

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Hi Kendi , thanks for starting this thread. Yes, everything last year was so different. So much has changed since my husband passed july 5 2012. But one thing that will never change is the love i hold for him in my heart. We would be running around doing last minute shopping , seeing friends and looking forward to dinner at Mom and Dad's. Getting dressed up for church. I guess when it comes down to it, i'm doing those things today, just doing them alone. If I could have my baby turtle back for just a minute I'd have so much to say to him. What i really want you to know Jerry is how much i love and continue to love you; i cherish my memories of us. You are the best man i could have ever asked for. I know this is your First Christmas in Heaven. Your pictures are all over the house and your things are just as you left them, so if you could ever come back to me, i'm ready. I love you so much baby turtle. I ordered a special ornament for the tree for you and it just came UPS . it's a beautiful red blown glass ornament with Santa sitting on top in the sand, on the beach and holding a baby turtle. I had your name put on it and 2012. I cried when I hung it on the tree. So lonely here without you babe. But I must trudge on alone, I wish you a holy, Christmas there in Heaven.

I wish my fellow grievers a Happy Holiday here on earth. Go in peace. RIP JERRY PAUL GARD. Love you eternally, your vally

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Hello ladies,

Yup this year so different than last, and actually I feel worse than what I thought I would. Awful to say, but there it is. Memories seem to help alot of you...me-they just make me sadder. My husband died August 6th-

sometimes I can't even believe it, and wonder how he could have gotten something so terrible. It worries me that for the life of me, I can't see that how I feel today is ever going to change much..painful beyond

description. I look around and see people all living their lives....I just don't have much of one anymore and don't really know how I want to fix it. I too have left all of his things as they were, that once again makes me

feel better. I know that thought of, "Well, aren't you coming back?" Anyway....here's hoping the new year brings us all some peace and some semblance of acceptance.

Nancy

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Val, I know how you feel!! I am trying to do the things that Kenny and I used to do as we would have even tho they will never be the same!! I have tried looking for that special ornament to for Kenny he loved old trucks so I want one with his name on it for the tree didnt get it this year I have not found the right one but there will be one next year, Your ornament sounds beautiful. It is so lonely without Kenny but for the kids I have to put on the happy face and make the best for them. Kenny loved them so much even tho they was not his biological he was thier father and they will not let anyone say otherwise. I imagine Kenny up in heaven looking down and celebratin with us and playing with the kids after they opened their present fighting for the last piece of desert.

Nancy, I know how hard it is Kenny has only been gone since August 7, 2012 and every day is a struggle sometimes. I will see stuff he wanted or stuff I wanted to get him, I also know that Kenny did all he could do to make me happy and that is what I am trying to do is be happy for him. One day at a time is all I can do but it hurts and I want him back but nothing I do or say will ever do that. Things will never be the same but I can help him be at peace by living the way he would want. I celebrate his life and the life he gave to me because of him I knew what true love was.

May God show us the way to a deal with our hurt and heal us!!!

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Kendi I think we all felt the deep sadness of our missing husband, partner, they say the first of everything is the hardest it will all ways be there but the intensity will not be as strong. I know I am looking forward to the day how ever near or far of being able to think of Robin without breaking down. I nearly made it through the day with only a slight tear, until I heard a Christmas carol that Robin use to use with our Christmas card and I had to excuse myself as our young grandsons where in the room. I pray that the day will come when the pain won't be as strong and the waves of sorrow won't be as big and they will stay out longer so I can go on loving him with warm feelings and feel his love without breaking down.

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