Members Mdanielson4 Posted December 18, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2012 I have feelings of being lost and all alone this Christmas. I have chosen this path even though it is a self destructive one. I have had great support from the people here and would never complain. I have hurt someone here and regret it immensely. By continuing to poor my problems on them it has slowed there own grief to a stand still and I cannot take that on. It is important that we know our limits and not overstay our welcome. I have done this with this individual and want to apologize to her. I can never repay her for the long hours of talks we had and the details of our lives we shared. She will always be very special to me and I will never forget her. I am alone again and maybe that is the punishment I deserve for hurting someone special. I will peek in now and again to see what posts are around. I wish you all the best. It truly has been a pleasure. Mike Danielson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted December 18, 2012 Moderators Report Share Posted December 18, 2012 Afraid you lost me mike but hope you do come back soon. Whoever it is talk to them and work it out, I feel confident you can. tc and don't be so quick to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silvergirl61 Posted December 18, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2012 Mike- I hope you will reconsider. Being alone and feeling friendless is hard, and maybe you could benefit yourself better by at least coming here, rather than just not having anyone to talk to. If you feel you have been leaning too hard on one person, maybe you should try talking with some other members, for awhile, or at least , consider it. Only you can decide what's best for you , of course. But know that many of us wish you well. Take care! Silver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members val Posted December 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 19, 2012 Dear Mike: Please don't go anywhere. We need you here. Hugs, Val Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mdanielson4 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 You are all very good to me. I had a talk with my counselor and learned a few things about myself that are kind of hard to handle. I am working on finding the new Mike. I need an identity and have no idea how to go about this. It is very confusing to me but I have no choice but to tackle this head on and learn more about myself. There is only one thing I can say with out a doubt. I don’t like being alone and trying to deal with all of these issues. This is the most difficult journey I have ever been on. I will stick around because all of you have helped me through the tuff times before. I have to find my way back to reality and figure out what is next. I have to redefine who I am and why I am still here. Thank you for the support that you have all given me. I am proud to be a part of this wonderful community of people. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mgilbertson Posted December 20, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Dear Mike, I too feel like I pull people down with all my sadness but its what it is. This is one place where you should be able to come and people understand we have BAD DAYS pretty much everyday and sometimes even WORST THAN BAD!!!! My heart is broken because I lost the only love I've ever known and gotten from a man and I do hurt practically every minute. These times are tough and lonely, but in a strange way coming here makes me feel better because I know others feel this way and I'm not alone,besides this site is called Grieving.com and thats what we're doing together. The holidays have just been the worse that's for sure but I think we're gonna be sad souls for a long time and if we try to rush it we may never find peace,and if you've loved someone like we have why would we expect to feel better in such a short time! It still hurts like it was yesterday! Your not alone Mike so don't ever feel that way we can all take it and give it, that's how we help each other. Stick around okay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nancy7282 Posted December 20, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Morning Mike and others,I was just reading through the posts and saw Mike's about needing a new identity. I guess in some ways we are now all faced with that. Where we used to think of "us", it has now become just "me." Difficult beyondwords to adjust to, and I don't know that I even want to adjust to that! My husband died in August, most of my days I just feel terrible-very lost and alone-maybe I get 2 days a week that are bearable-but for the mostpart, I am just terribly sad. This time of year has made this all worse, but sometimes I think I'd still feel this bad if it was July. I have found that friends have drifted off.....I feel like I have the plague Anyway, the newidentity....I am trying to think of it as just finding a few other things and people to do things with. I guess it kind of minimizes it for me, and even doing that is not easy at this time of my life. I am hoping that this griefsomehow lightens soon-the price to pay for having a great love in your life for years......and I wouldn't have traded that for anything. Hope I don't sound too depressing, as MGilbertson wrote, "It is what it is."Thanks all for listening,Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silvergirl61 Posted December 21, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2012 "I feel like I have the plague" That's a powerful statement, and I'm going to bet a lot of us feel that way. As the days go on and friends drop away, (likely because they have busy , happy and productive lives they need to get back to), it does sometimes feel like we've been abandoned, at least I know it does for me. On further thought, the truth of it is, for me, that I have much more time alone now, because I spent so much of my time, with Dennis, who is no longer here. I have to find ways to fill that time, with other activities, other interests or other people. That has been terribly hard for me. I have fallen into a habit, of simply adjusting my activities to what he felt like or was capable of doing , for the last few years. As his physical strength left him, I adjusted my time outside of work, to what he needed or wanted, and somehow, I have to get back into the practice of deciding what I want and need, all alone. That has been so hard. To me, it's an admission that he's gone, and that's the last thing I ever wanted to think about, the last thing I ever wanted to hear, and a reality too harsh to face or imagine. Unfortunately, that's the reality I am forced to endure, and overcome. I will share something with you, though- this isn't the first time I've heard those words...he used those same words to me, in another lifetime, in another situation, when he helped me to face a reality I wanted to ignore, and by his kindness, and wise counsel, helped me lead myself out of a situation that I had put myself in, for far too long. So, in a way, he is still with me, still helping me, and still beside me. That way of looking at things makes me feel stronger, and so that's the way I am going to look at this, and just keep working at it. I hate being without him. I miss him so much, all the time. But I am going to try, as hard as I can, to do what he wanted me to do. It's all I have left, that I can do for him, and for myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Izzy Posted December 21, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2012 Also it seems like nobody wants to talk about him,just me.So sad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Caremal Posted December 21, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2012 Mike and EVERYONE here. We are all here because we have lost someone special in our lives. We all talk about our lives to get things off our chest. We all are hurting and need the comfort we find here from others who have been or are in our situation. I know for me this has been a great forum to talk to others and without judgment form anyone as our pain of the loss we have endured eases and increases with time, depending on the moment. Yes many of our friends go away it seems - I think what happens is they go back to their lives and we have not moved on. That is a work in progress; my hope is that we all one day will be able to do so in whatever capacity we need. The holiday season magnifies our pain or the reality that our loved one is no longer here to be with us. Last year was a difficult one for me as my husband was extremely ill. What I would not give to have him still here with me. And yet I would not want him to experience the pain he went through again. I can only hold dear the memory I have and the good time we shared. We all have the ability to put one step in front of the other and began to move forward. This is not what the plan was in our lives and yet it is the hand we were dealt. I thank you for letting me ramble on this morning. We all need each other as we are members of a group we never wanted to be part of - yet we can understand the pain and feelings we have regarding the loss we experienced. Sending hugs to all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BreathofAngel Posted December 21, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2012 Also it seems like nobody wants to talk about him,just me.So sad!Dear ((((Izzy)))), Please don't feel that way. I am always open to listen to your story and whatever you have to say, dearheart! Please feel free to speak your heart about that special man that you continue to Love. That is what Love is all about and just because he is gone does not mean that life comes to a standstill. He would not want for it to, therefore post again and again and as many times as it takes to help you share your story with others. I am a good listener and embrace you with lots of Love from an understanding heart.May God bless you, dearheart, and envelop you with His tremendous Love and Light always! Warm ((((hugs)))) to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lost and numb Posted December 25, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 25, 2012 Oh Mike please don't leave. I would miss you so. You were among the first to reach out. You have no idea just how much you have helped me .I tried the meds they gave me. I could not function. I sat on the couch without emotions and didn't hit a lick in the house for over a week. I took myself off of them. I knew you and the others would be here for me. Please don't leave us. We need you.Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jane A Posted January 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Hi Mike, we miss you! Hope you are doing better and have found some peace and solace.Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mdanielson4 Posted January 25, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 Jane thank you for the kind words. I am having a bad day but I miss all of you too. I will be spending some more time here trying to get back into participating. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted January 25, 2013 Moderators Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 Mike, glad to hear it! Look forward to seeing you around more....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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