The loss of both parents

[heartbroken73]

First of all, I want to say I'm sorry to anyone that has lost a parent. The pain of losing a parent can't be put into words.

My father died a year ago this last September. I was working through the grieving process just having to go through all the important dates that first year. This September my mom dies the same day we buried my dad. I've had so many emotions during the last two months but more and more i feel like the flood gates are going to burst. I've tried not to deal with my feelings because i feel like i would go insane if i let any of the raw emotions out. So i go to work everyday and pretend like im fine. I'm realizing that i'm not fine and that i need to grieve for my mom and my dad. So i've joined this online support group to share my feelings with people just like me.

[karebear]

I totally hear you. I lost my dad this past summer and I am still having a hard time giving in to the "grieving process". I do break down and cry sometimes but for the most part I go to work, paste a fake smile on my face and pretend that everything is fine, because if I tell people that I am severly depressed and hurt beyond what could be called bearable they probably would freak out. I don't know how you deal with the death of both your parents, I am still trying to go through my first year without dad and I don't think it is getting any easier. I don't know any magic solution but there are some great people here to talk with. I am so very sorry for your loss and people know that you are not alone, we are all finding our way through this pain. I find the hardest times are when I am alone and the grief can no longer be avoided, do you find that hard as well?

[stillfighting431]

I'm so sorry for your losses.I can't even imagine what you're going through but my heart goes out to you.I lost my mom last year when I was 41 & I still feel incomplete & empty.It's like someone has ripped me in half & nothing can fill this void.My mom suffered hip fracture & recoverd after total hip replacement.My sister & I were her caregivers while all this time my father who has a history of depression had a complete nervous breakdown.So we'd 2 sick parents to care for.We cared for them both at home,spread thin & worn out,yet we were happy that our efforts had improved their health.They were getting better day by day.Mom had started walking with her stick after intensive physical therapy.And then mom developed a chest infection & was gone in a few weeks.All over hard work couldn't save her.My sister & I feel so angry & cheated.Dad is now in deep depression,a mere shell of what he used to be.We feel orphaned & so alone with no one to talk to & no one to guide us through our daily struggles.

Sometimes I feel it's a horrible dream from which I can't seem to wake up.Dad was hospitalised last week(the same hospital mom passed away in).It brought back all the horrors we're trying to supress in our minds.It has pushed us both deeper into depression.

You're still trying to process your loss,both of them.You're numb from shock,but it seems that you can no longer push your pain away,just've to live thru it.There's no easy way to do this.But you need someone sympathetic to help you process all your emotions.Do you've siblings or some close friends or relatives that you can talk to about this?You've all of us here to talk to.Keep writing in.It helps to know that you're not alone.

[BreathofAngel]

Dearest (((((((Heartbroken))))))), My deepest condolences on the physical passing of your dear Mom and Dad.

Words can never suffice in times like these when we are met with such pain and sorrow. But we must look towards another tomorrow. When our parents have finished their life's mission they go back home and though we wish we could still keep them here it cannot be done however, all of the beautiful memories of times past that were spent with them will still live on in your heart.

These are times that call for Strength as well as fellowship with others. It is very important to be able to speak about how you feel and what is in your heart with others. This fine group is comprised of truly great people who are most sympathetic to your cause because we have all experienced loss in much the same way. You can feel free to call out to us because we are here for a purpose to support one another during these tumultuous times.

A Mother is indeed most special because she is the one who brings you into the world and toils and goes through so much so that you can be born. And once you are she goes through so much more to assure that you are brought up properly, are always safe, and she continues to nurture you with much love not only through your formative years but throughout her lifetime. When she is gone it is like the world comes to an end. We are cut off from the life support we once had. But your Mom would surely not want for you to experience prolonged grief. She would want for you to be happy and continue with your life as life in this world is so short that we must take advantage of every moment.

Remember your Mom in prayers as that is most healing. Our prayers are with you and I know you can make it not only for yourself but for your Mom and Dad who still love you and are with you always. May God bless you, dearheart. I send you many hugs.

Grieving the Loss of a Parent: http://dying.lovetok...ing-loss-parent

Support Groups for Losing Your Parents | eHow.com: http://www.ehow.com/...ng-parents.html

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If you could hold the ocean in your arms, it still could not compare

with the vastness of love a Mother has in her heart for her child. -- BreathofAngel

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[Anamika]

My heart goes out to you. I lost my father this October and he was only 69. He was in great health, yet he died of a lung infection,all happened in just 2 weeks. We never knew he would die, so we couldn't even say good-byes. Also he was on ICU, on ventillator, so we could see him only for few minutes every day. He couldn't speak because of the respirator, I feel so angry with hospital folks over everything. They did not help enough, sometimes I even wonder if they could have saved my dad's life. I might be being silly, anyways.

You hang in there. Things will eventually get better. Do you have a famiy or children of your own? Hang on to them for support. Things will slowly get better, thats the law of life. Time will finally work out it's magic. It will never be the same again but it will be a lot better than it is now. Think that everyone has to go through this at some point in their lives. Noone lives forever. Everyone has to lose a loved one at some point.

Stillfighting - Didnt know you lost your mom to chest infection. My dad died of the same too and I cant beleve a chest infection can take one's life. My dad was in great health otherwise. No meds. No treatments. But yet a lung infection took his life. Life is strange.

My thoughts and prayers with all of you.

[kaycee42]

Dear Heartbroken I am so sorry for your loss I have lost both my parents in the space of two and a half years. I feel so lost and desolate. I am totally alone without blood relatives other than my children. I think it must be normal that we feel this way, I had not got over the death of my Mum, when after caring for my Dad he dies unexpectedly, just like that even the hospital was surprised. They phoned me in the middle of the night to say he was found unresponsive in his chair. I was gobsmacked and said but he was ok the nurse said yes he was ok. I am still stunned I lost my Mum to a two week illness her death came as a total shock. I really do not understand either of their deaths, so sudden, they have left me feeling at a loss, and at 46 years old I still need them as if I was a small child. I guess what I am trying to let you know is that you are not alone and I am sending you a big hug, take care of yourself.

[Redium]

Its a very sad story.I can't tolerate in this situation.So you have to strong your mind.The same things that happens in my life when I was a child age 9.I lost of my all the family members in a car accident but luckly I am the only child my life is saved.So dont worry keep faith on god.Today I think one thing"God helps those who helps themselves.

[Rose]

First of all, I want to say I'm sorry to anyone that has lost a parent. The pain of losing a parent can't be put into words.

My father died a year ago this last September. I was working through the grieving process just having to go through all the important dates that first year. This September my mom dies the same day we buried my dad. I've had so many emotions during the last two months but more and more i feel like the flood gates are going to burst. I've tried not to deal with my feelings because i feel like i would go insane if i let any of the raw emotions out. So i go to work everyday and pretend like im fine. I'm realizing that i'm not fine and that i need to grieve for my mom and my dad. So i've joined this online support group to share my feelings with people just like me.

'heartbroken73'; I am so sorry for your loss...my mom passed last September; the 16th of cancer at age 87....we expected her to have a much longer and healthier life but she was diagnosed in June in 4th stage...My dad passed away Dec. 1st at age 88, unexpectedly...dealing with the loss of BOTH of them seems to be overwhelming to me.

I do not work outside the home but am a stay at home mom of a wonderful Asperger/Autism Spectrum son...I run the home for my Love and our two mastiff puppies and cat and two macaws. I am thankful to not have to "put on a face" at work but I have trouble "holding it together" at times at home, but it is "at home" so that is ok...grieving takes TIME...time for us to set aside and "let it out"...

Have you considered a "grief recovery" group in real life? Many churches have them and I actually participated in one in 2005 without having to grieve the physical loss of anyone, grieved the loss of relationship, etc.

We are all in the same boat. You are NOT alone. Please continue to work THROUGH your grief here and "let it out" in healthy ways. Wishing you the very best...

[Rose]

Dear Heartbroken I am so sorry for your loss I have lost both my parents in the space of two and a half years. I feel so lost and desolate. I am totally alone without blood relatives other than my children. I think it must be normal that we feel this way, I had not got over the death of my Mum, when after caring for my Dad he dies unexpectedly, just like that even the hospital was surprised. They phoned me in the middle of the night to say he was found unresponsive in his chair. I was gobsmacked and said but he was ok the nurse said yes he was ok. I am still stunned I lost my Mum to a two week illness her death came as a total shock. I really do not understand either of their deaths, so sudden, they have left me feeling at a loss, and at 46 years old I still need them as if I was a small child. I guess what I am trying to let you know is that you are not alone and I am sending you a big hug, take care of yourself.

Kaycee...You are not alone hon. I lost my mom to cancer in Sept 2011 and dad, unexpectedly, like yours, just Dec. 1st....I think that we are faced with the realization that WE are now the oldest generation and I feel overwhelmed that I don't have my mom to turn to to talk to...she was my best friend and I miss her so much. Dad's sudden passing really hit me hard. I had not seen him for several months; my niece's graduation from high school in June, and he was "doing fine". Passing on well wishes, hugs and hope for a successful healing journey through grief as we all enter the holidays...Peace to you!