A great book that really helped me....

[theabeos]

I lost my brother this past June of '07.  He took his own life at the age of 26 (more info on that back story in the suicide forums)

I found myself going through such a hard and foriegn process - i didn't know how to deal with it.  How do you deal with loosing someone that is part of your past, present and we hope, future? One of the only people who can talk to you about childhood memories, parental issues, and has seen your growth throughout your whole life, on the level of an equal?!

I was lost....still kindof am - I find myself lost in "fogs".  Someone suggested a book to me that really really helped.

Its called :

"Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies"

by T. J. Wray.

Its not a very long book - but its hard to get through - but very rewarding.  In a word where sibling grief isnt always seen as "real" or "valid" - this book really helps you learn that it is - and gives you tools to get through it and help deal with the people who arent so compassionate.

Has anyone here read this book? 

I hope it helps some of you find solace....atleast for a moment....

[tcampione]

Thanks for the recommendation.   I have been successfully ignoring my grief, but have now chosen to deal with it.  This book may be a good start.

//tom

[countrysinger]

Think I'll see if I can find this book too..I live in a small town..no where to get any help...family thinks I'm o.k. it's only been 3 months...why would they think that??I feel so alone..no one to share my sorrow.

[tcampione]

[user=20082]countrysinger[/user] wrote:

Think I'll see if I can find this book too..I live in a small town..no where to get any help...family thinks I'm o.k. it's only been 3 months...why would they think that??I feel so alone..no one to share my sorrow.

Yes, isn't it odd that as much as we may wish to conceal our grief, it is even more upsetting when we succeed at doing so.  

Others think we are ok, and we think, "why can't they see the pain?"  Then we go right back to concealing it.

/*tom*/

 

[countrysinger]

Well things aren't that much better for me...4 months this Thursday,and yet I still think she's going to call..........................I came here looking for support,but not really finding a lot.Where I posted about my sister,lots read(almost50) NOT ONE replied.Tried to find a BUDDY,but no one matched ....are you finding people to discuss things with????Oh yes,thanks for your reply.....

[jbhotmama]

I just joined this site. And, the first thing that caught my eye was this topic.  I am going to look into this book. I just might read it. You see I just lost my only sib, my baby brother (age 26) . Today has been 9 mos since we lost him. And, I need any help I can get.

[annabanana]

Hi I loved this book as well . There is a site that goes with the book I belong there too.

 

Here's the address for anyone else who may want to check it out. ((((HUGS))) steff

http://www.adultsiblinggrief.com/message_board/index.php

[mommasue]

I just put a hold on this book on-line just now.  I'll be able to pick it up in about a week.  I'm hoping this will help shed some light on things.

My second brother (younger) died May or June 2008.  My first brother (older) died 16 years ago.  Why do both of these men have to leave??  Their lives were not completed.  My father has no boys to carry on his name.  I miss them and wish I could let it out.

countrysinger-you posted almost a year ago.  If you still come on this site, please send me a message.  Maybe we could talk?

[mommasue]

I can't carry on my dad's name since I already have my husband's name.  Same as my sister.  Even my one brother had a son and he died same as him.  So there's no one left to carry on the name.

Thank you for your concern.