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Acknowledgment vs. Acceptance


maamgrey

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I'm sure we all know about the stages of grief and how the final one is acceptance.   In  just the last few days, I've heard that people are starting to use the term acknowledgement instead.  Some people say that acceptance implies agreement and certainly none of us agree to the deaths in the our lives.  I think I like acknowledgement better.

How do you all feel?

Sue

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I guess if I am going to have to acknowledge that this is now my life that is alot better than accepting that I have to live this way. Yes I do like that

Susan

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Personally, I've never liked or believed that I fit into someone else's list of stages...I think whatever you feel is the most important, though, and if this helps than great.  I believe in each person following their own path of honoring their own feelings, love and memories.  I got in trouble with some of my friends early on because they freaked when they heard I wasn't seeing a therapist after Ishaq died.  I don't believe in therapy for me, anyway, though I know it helps many others.  

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The 5 stages of grief were originally written by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and were to be applied to the work she was doing with terminally ill patients and the stages they went through before death. They don't necessarily apply to people in mourning but a lot of authors have borrowed these stages and applied them to their own work of everything under the sun. Dr. Kubler-Ross's work was ground breaking back in the 60s and 70s. She brought the topic of death out into the everyday conciousness.

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That was On Death and Dying and you're right, she really broke ground.  She also wrote on Grief and Grieving and discussed the stages in that context. 

I was just wondering what anybody else thought about the semantics?  Do the terms matter to you?

Sue

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I don't think terms and semantics matter. I think each death is unique and each person grieves in their own way and we all have some commonalities that bind us together in our grief.

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[user=19509]maamgrey[/user] wrote:

I'm sure we all know about the stages of grief and how the final one is acceptance.   In  just the last few days, I've heard that people are starting to use the term acknowledgement instead.  Some people say that acceptance implies agreement and certainly none of us agree to the deaths in the our lives.  I think I like acknowledgement better.

How do you all feel?

Sue

Sue - Only just stumbled on this thread.  I have been on this journey for 15 months.  I had read many of Elizabeth Kubler Ross's books.  I read her last work 4 months ago.  'On Grief and Grieving'.     I identified with so much of that book. The exception being   Acceptance. 

I will never accept that my son died before me.  Death notices, sympathy cards, death certificates and no missed calls on my mobile, lead me to acknowledge that Mike is no longer here at some level.  But accept it - NOT HAPPENING!

As we each grieve in our own indivual ways, so too do we deal with our loss as individuals.  Not all need therapy, not all need chemicals, not all need to strictly follow the 'stages of grief'.  But we all need to know we are not alone in our grief and that our children are remembered for who they were in life - Trudi

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