Painful SUDDEN loss of Mother

[Derron]

I NEVER in a million years thought my mother would be taken from me so early in my life. I'm a 24 year old male and my life/world that I know has become COMPLETELY shattered and altered for the REST OF MY LIFE! My mother was the MOST important woman in my life and I lost her today slightly after 9am. She was rushed to the local hospital only 3 minutes away from my job and when her coworker called me to tell me I immediately dropped EVERYTHING I was doing and rushed to the hospital to find out 20 minutes later ambulance never left her job because she wasn't stable. My mother always suffered from extremely high blood pressure and that's what I thought they meant by stabilize her. When I got the call they finally were bringing her to the hospital it gave me hope that she was fine because they were not going to move her until she was stable. When the ER doctor came in and told me they worked on her for 30 mins NOT including the what the EMT's did and he told me there was nothing else they could do, she has passed on, it was like time STOPPED! I was so in disbelief I couldn't even cry until I looked at her HR rep (who drove in the truck with her) her tears made it all so real my mother was gone, JUST LIKE THAT! I just left the house at 6:20am to go out and vote and my mother was perfectly fine! I texted her telling her I was done voting and she texted me back and everything was fine and 9am my mother was pronounced dead from the SAME EXACT Congestive Heart failure diagnosis my grandmother died which she wasn't that much older than my mother when she passed. My father walked in the family room to see me in pieces and instantly knew my mother was gone followed by my brother... All we could do is cry non stop, our mother my father's wife GONE at 58 years old. I'm a Christian and I know I should never question God but I could not help to. All I did was cry and ask WHY MY MOTHER? WHY NOW? WHAT DID SHE DO THAT YOU HAD TO TAKE HER FROM US? My mother always put EVERYBODY before her and that was one thing I didn't like because she never took the time out to worry about her, never will I have told her that but I think may be if she did worry more about her this may have been prevented!

I'm honestly still in a state of shock and utter disbelief that this is happening. I swear I am praying this is a nightmare and that I wake up because I can NOT see life without my mother! I'm 24 and thought that she will not see me get married, have kids, graduate from college, all the things her mother at least got to see before she passed, I won't get that luxury. I don't know how I can move forward without her. My father is my main concern now cause it's completely clueless in some aspects without my mother and I feel me, my brother and father will be so far lost with my mother I don't even want to go on! I'm good at masking emotion but this I will not be masking at all. I know it may sound harsh but I DO NOT want ANYBODY who hasn't suffered a SUDDEN DEATH of a parent telling me they know how I feel because they don't! Don't tell me to be strong because I cannot be. I literally feel like I've exshauted all my tears for today in reservation of tomorrow when I wake up and realize I will never see my mother again until were both in heaven. Although, I don't know how I will go through the rest of my life without her, I have to keep reminding myself my mother, uncle and grandfather got pass the loss of my grandmother so I know we can too, somehow.

I really would appreciate feedback especially from people my age who have lost their mother (particularly) suddenly and how do you get past it? Does it get better? I feel like I will be stuck in a hopeless, joyless state forever and I don't want to because I know my mother would frown upon that along with needing to be strong at least for my father sake.

[JennaJMU]

I'm a little older than you, I was 32 in July when my Dad passed. My dad was gone too young, age 64, and died of septic shock after being a healthy person his whole life. He was my best friend and I always turned to him for advice for everything. I'm an only child and most days my mom and I don't know how to go on without him. I have a baby daughter who is 10 months old and frankly she is the only thing that has kept us going.

I can't say it gets better because I don't know really. It doesn't stay as raw as it is in the first days. But it still kills. I just sat here sobbing thinking about how we would be on the phone all night talking about the election, if he were alive. But there are some days where I will be happy about something, giddy even, for a while, before I remember that something so big is missing in my life and always will be.

I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, you will surprise yourself that you keep on living. Somehow you just live through it.

[nevergiveup20117]

My mom never put herself first eather

Very warm and strong christian

God took her at 54

I was very angry at God and asked many why's as well

But God has plans for each of us and He takes us to heaven when we are ready and have done enough work for the Lord

This video helped me and it might help you as well

Testimony about heaven

http://www.odenhetrick.com/video.html

http://www.odenhetrick.com/video.html

[Lou40]

I'm older than you but I dont think it matters what age you are when you lose your Mum. I'm 40, she was 69. Sudden Heart Attack, 16 September 2012. I' m so very sorry for your loss. I can't tell you it's going to get better because I dont know yet :-( the pain is still ripping out my insides, I'm having panic attacks and don't know I will ever get used to this new normal. Sending you strength to get through - you will - we will, with the help of family and friends and sharing out stories - we have to x

[Rms1977]

Darron,

My heart pours out to you tonight. I must say, reading your "if you haven't lost a parent, shut up!!!!", brought me back I the day I lost my m

[Rms1977]

Argh...iPhone!! Sorry, I'll reply when I'm on my laptop. I apologize..

[Mtlost]

I am so sorry. And I understand I really do. I lost my mom suddenly on oct 13. I so wish there was something I could say to make the pain stop- but there is nothing. My mother was only 64. 10 weeks prior to losing my mother, I lost my uncle suddenly. He was 66.

So I get it- I get the ache that doesn't go away.

I get the second of being ok and the next- not being ok. I keep asking why- but there are no answers. I did order her medical records because I want to read them for myself since no doctor once explained to me what happened.

I'm so sorry for your pain, but know you are not alone.

[emmamarie]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I understand how you feel, I'm 23 and my Dad passed away from a heart attack aged 44 on 23 october. I still don't believe hes really gone. I feel he was too young and I'm too young to have lost him. I can't offer any help as its still very raw for me but just thought i'd reply.

[immissingyou]

Oh that's awful...I agree in that I don't care what age you are when you lose your mom, it hurts your heart. Take one day at a time, one step at a time and try to find some comfort in the memories that you do have. I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your mom.

[star2000]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom. I understand it hurting so bad. It feels like someone ripped your heart out of your chest. I just lost my mother October 1st and Im still not ok. My 2 brothers are now somewhat ok but my father and I are not. I am 31 and my mother was 47. It sucks how she was here and then she was gone. It feels almost like the world should just stop when we look out our windows. I am going to a group counseling session tomorrow with my dad because we still cant function each day is a challenge for us. If things are not getting better for you over time you may look into something similar. I am praying for you. I am very sorry for your loss.

[1qaz]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost a parent unexpectedly recently. My father died last month due to a complication from a fall. He was just 60 years old. I am only 29 myself, with three small children. I feel like I have to put my own grief "on the back burner" to help them, who were very close with Grandpa. My father fell 6ft from a ladder while cleaning the gutters, just hours after bringing me home from the hospital after delivering my third child. He suffered a severe traumatic brain injury, was in an induced coma for three weeks, rehab for almost a month, and was finally able to come home! I thought that period was the most traumatic time in my life. After being told he would need 6months-1year of rehab and may never get full mental capacity back, he was home and cognatively normal after only 7 weeks! Unfortuanetly, the trach tube that was necessary for his recovery in the immediate days after his fall is what got him. Scar tissue formed, and even after multiply surguries to remove it, kept coming back. A few days before his next scheduled "removal surgury" his throat was closed to the point that he could not breath, and ER staff were unable to regulate it. His heart then gave out from the stress. After all that recovery and endless days/nights sitting in the hospital and rehab center, and weeks of rehab, and progress. It almost makes me think if would have been better if he had gone quickly in the initial fall. Why did he have to suffer so much physically and mentally in the prolonged recovery to end up dying anyway?

[reeling]

I lost my mother to something similar 10/12/12. She was only 48 years old and it was not expected at all. She had been on high BP meds and was stressed at work but did not show any signs of anything being wrong. She was a nurse so if she knew something was going on she wouldn't have gone to see her doctor anyway. As far as dealing with this -- I have no idea how to do so yet. It seems we are stuck in the same boat. I grew up in a Christian home and my mother was very much into her faith. On her facebook she left a message a few days before she passed "being in God's presence is the best place to be... I want to be in that place every day", if there is any comfort in anything it would be that she got her wish.

I'm only 27. I feel your pain in most aspects of what you have listed. It is a very difficult road so far and with holidays coming up I can only imagine how much more difficult it will be. All I know to do is remember her laughing, smiling, enjoying life, and cherish those memories. Do not torment yourself with the "bad" thoughts. Honor her by remembering HER.