Members Bren Posted November 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 Hi Everyone,I am glad I have found this site. The sudden death of my mom in a car accident has been very traumatic for me. I find I am not dealing with it very well and find that when I do think about what happened and that she is gone I quickly push it out of my mind because I don't want to believe that it's real. I find that I am a very angry person right now. I am not angry with my mom for leaving me , but I am angry at the whole process in which I have had to deal with. To start with the day of the accident pictures of the accident are showing up online before any family have been notified I saw these picture when my best friend and I were out looking for my mom because her work had called saying she hadn't showed up or called. I saw the pictures and didn't figure the car as my mom's because of the damage. Secondly I had to track down the authorities to find out what happened to her. I finally got to talk to a victims advocate almost 4 hours after the accident. Planning the service was easy compared to agonizing wait we all had to encounter waiting on autopsy results the death certificates and accident report. I finally got all 3 of those items just 2 weeks ago. I find myself when talking to people wanting to talk about my mom all the time. It's like I am obsessed with it or some thing. I find myself crying if someone brings her up to me. I still feel like I have to protect her even after she is gone. When gong through her things and giving items away to family. I got angry and just took it all to my house because I felt like she was being violated. I never in a million years would of thought this would be this hard. I did not react this way to my dad's death 5 years ago. I am sure that this probably won't make sense but this is how I am feeling right now and I just want to reach out to others and get some support from others who have a pretty good idea what I am going through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members star2000 Posted November 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry for the pain that you are going through. I wish that I had thoughts of wisdom to help your during this time but sadly I dont have anything that I can say right now. I just lost my mom a month and 3 days ago. I am here for you though if you ever need someone to just listen to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mtlost Posted November 5, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 I so understand what you mean about protecting her things and getting mad when people were pawing through them. I did the same thing. It's like they are taking a piece of her, a piece you aren't willing to see go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nopeace Posted November 6, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 I just joined this site today. I was told to look for some help online by the owner of the cemetary where I buried my Momma October 9, 2011. I go to her gravesite very often. I have no one else. My Momma was my everything. Losing her is still the worst thing to ever happen to me. I feel my life is worthless. I cry everyday and I feel so lost. I was my Momma's caregiver and to see her leave me by myself I don't know what to do. Someone please help me, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stargazer5510 Posted November 6, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Big cyber hug. You were so totally devoted, it's not clear at all how to go forward. It's that extreme closeness that brings us such pain when our loved ones go. There is life for you. My hope is that you will be able to spill your feelings here and come to understand that you are not alone. Please be gentle and kind with yourself.((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members immissingyou Posted November 6, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 I'm so very sorry for your loss! I am guessing you were particularly close to your mom. That would explain to me the anger. I think your feelings are normal and it's all a process unfortunately. I was angry when I lost my grandmother and I knew her time was coming. It doesn't seem fair I know and I felt the same when my uncle was going through her house - it felt like a huge invasion of her privacy. It will get better but it is just going to take some time. Have you considered grief counseling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cdfoster2 Posted November 15, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2012 im sorry i understand.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Anne Posted November 16, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted November 16, 2012 I lost my mom 2months ago. She died from sudden heart attack. I was at the mall when my 2 elder sisters call me. At first i didnt believe it but after a couple hours it zinc in. I cant imagine that could happen to me. I was away from home since im working overseas. I went home right away when i found out i never sleep for 4 days i couldnt stop crying i keep asking God why she took my mom this way i didnt had a chance to say goodbye to her. I do believe that you dont know whats going to happen next must be ready anytime. It happen really fast if i only knew this was going to happen i should've say goodbye to her. Going through this trials was to hurtful. The pain wont go away when im with my friends im a bit ok but when im alone i could help my self crying especially at night. She may be gone but her memories will remain in my heart forever. We love you mom. May you rest in peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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