Members lalewis Posted November 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2012 It still sounds weird to think that she's gone, but these past three weeks have taught me that this is not some nightmare I can wake up from, she's really gone. My world came crashing down on October 9th. I went to wake my kids, like I do every morning. My girls slept in the same room. I walked to the door and there was this odor. I had no idea where it was coming from. I went in the girls room and checked on Kourtney. I felt her arm and she was cold. I tried to move her and she was very stiff. I hollered to my husband and he immediately told me to dial 911. I made the call while he went in to start CPR. We both knew it was too late, but we had to at least try. On Saturday, October 13th, we buried our sweet baby girl. We still have no idea what happened. We're thinking maybe SIDS although her doctor says she was too old for that. My doctor feels that she may have had a heart condition that went undiagnosed. I took a week off from work, then decided I had to get out the house and back to life. Being around people does help out a lot. I feel the pain more when I'm at home. Not having a little one to watch constantly is very strange for me. I'm thankful for my two older children who keep me quite busy. The one thing I hate is to see them crying for their sister. She was truly the apple of all of our eyes. We love her so very much. I really don't see how anyone could get through this without faith in knowing God is still here and He will help to get us through this. Because I believe in heaven, I know my baby is there with my mom, grandmothers, and grandfather being spoiled even more . We have so many people praying for us and constantly calling and texting just to say that they're still lifting us in prayer. I know someone has to be praying because I don't know how I'd be able to go on without the constant prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nevergiveup20117 Posted November 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2012 I am sorry my sister for your lossI am soo glad you believe in heavenYes your girl is happy now and being spoiled Hold on to GodHe will bring you through thisWatch this videoIt is about heavenIt helped me when I lost my dear momhttp://www.odenhetrick.com/video.htmlHug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lalewis Posted November 4, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 Very interesting video! Thanks for sharing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rachel atkinson Posted November 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 19, 2012 Hi im sorry to hear about your daughter. I have also lost a child. He was only 4 weeks and 5 days old. He was born with several heart defects. None were picked up on scans during my pregnancy so it came as a complete shock when he was born. He was taken straight to Leeds L.G.I hospital the night he was born as he wasnt able to breathe properly and was quite blue in his hands. He had open heart surgery at 3 days old which appeared to work at first. He had complications so ended up having a second open heart surgery 2 weeks after the first. Finally it was his kidneys that failed and he passed away on 21st September 2012. I know what you mean about feeling better round others as you sit and stew over things in your head all the time at home. Although i cant cope with the idea of going to work just yet. I left on maternity leave and I cant face all the customers where I work as all the regulars know me. I think its that initial thing of seeing people wondering if they know whats happened, what or if their going to say something. Im worried ill break down in front of them. Some days are better than others. Somedays from the minute I wake up i feel like crap and know its going to be a day where you just want to cry all the time. I cant see it getting any better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Redium Posted February 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 I m also sorry for you daughters.So don't worry bout it the god should must help you in another way.Keep on faith with god.So he must help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ducky Posted February 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Please try and remember that there are many of us in this world who do are atheists, who do not believe in a God or creator and yes, it is very hard for us too. My family were non-orthodox Jews but I converted to Buddhism due to my work in Burma and coming to the conclusion that it was the only peaceful - and sensible - philosophy. I don't say "religion" because, as we do not believe in a god, it isn't a religion as such. My adopted son was from Thailand and so also Buddhist. He believed far more strongly than I do in rebirth and was convinced he would be reborn as a dog, I have no idea why. Now that he is gone, I don't believe he is in heaven, as I don't believe such a thing exists, but I cannot convince myself that he has been reborn either, as a dog or otherwise. All I know is that he has gone from my life forever and the pain is never-ending. I apologize if this upsets some people, but when I hear people saying "oh, your son is in heaven now" or "he has gone to a better place", I feel like screaming as I know this is not the case - and to be told this is not a solace but an insult, to me anyway. His place is with me now, but that is not to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted February 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Ducky, I respect your personal beliefs. We all have our own thoughts on this. However, if I may. I am not a particularly religious person. I am however spiritual and a lover of all creation. I respect life and living in harmony with one another. I did however have a marvelous experience that I can not say in any way was set up or a fake. My son gave me a definite message from a total stranger that approached me in a place that was by a very casual happening. As in...nobody could possibly have set this up. His message was that he was OK and at peace. That in turn has given me a great sense of comfort and peace. You must let your heart lead you as to how to take comfort in your loss. I am in no way criticizing you or your beliefs. And yes, he is with you still. He always will be. Love never dies Take care. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ducky Posted March 2, 2013 Members Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 Ducky, I respect your personal beliefs. We all have our own thoughts on this. However, if I may. I am not a particularly religious person. I am however spiritual and a lover of all creation. I respect life and living in harmony with one another. I did however have a marvelous experience that I can not say in any way was set up or a fake. My son gave me a definite message from a total stranger that approached me in a place that was by a very casual happening. As in...nobody could possibly have set this up. His message was that he was OK and at peace. That in turn has given me a great sense of comfort and peace. You must let your heart lead you as to how to take comfort in your loss. I am in no way criticizing you or your beliefs. And yes, he is with you still. He always will be. Love never dies Take care. KateHe will always be in my memory - in fact, one of the three songs I chose for him at his funeral was "Always On My Mind" (the version by the Pet Shop Boys which he loved, not the Elvis one), but not with me in person. Sorry if I over-reacted, but I just do not accept the Christian viewpoint nor do I like having it rammed down my throat. I find it deeply condescending - at least if it is said to me personally as others must respect the point of view of each person/poster. By sheer coincidence, I attended the same private school as the celebrated - well, in the UK anyway - God denier, Prof Richard Dawkins, author of "The God Delusion", amongst many other books and with whose views I tally.Since this seems to be essentially a Christian site, I guess I am on the wrong one and perhaps it is better if I don't post here again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted March 2, 2013 Members Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 He will always be in my memory - in fact, one of the three songs I chose for him at his funeral was "Always On My Mind" (the version by the Pet Shop Boys which he loved, not the Elvis one), but not with me in person. Sorry if I over-reacted, but I just do not accept the Christian viewpoint nor do I like having it rammed down my throat. I find it deeply condescending - at least if it is said to me personally as others must respect the point of view of each person/poster.By sheer coincidence, I attended the same private school as the celebrated - well, in the UK anyway - God denier, Prof Richard Dawkins, author of "The God Delusion", amongst many other books and with whose views I tally.Since this seems to be essentially a Christian site, I guess I am on the wrong one and perhaps it is better if I don't post here again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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