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Til death us do part


stargazer5510

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stargazer5510

For my beloved.

ME

YOU

YOUANDMEYOuANDMeYouANDMeyouANdmeyouAndmeyouandmeyouandmeyouandmeyouandmeyouandmeyouandmeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyoumeyou

me

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Alexander Risten

that part is hard to hear at a wedding. i done pretty good until i heard that part.

The sad part of life is that when you interwove your life with another person's life, you also made their death part of your life. The good part is that we can find so much life and happiness with those we share our lives with. I like this part in Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Enjoy life with the wife [one] whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun."

To Stargazer5510, I hope you have great memories of the time you had with your spouse! Kevin Arnold once said: “Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

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stargazer5510

The sad part of life is that when you interwove your life with another person's life, you also made their death part of your life. The good part is that we can find so much life and happiness with those we share our lives with. I like this part in Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Enjoy life with the wife [one] whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun."

To Stargazer5510, I hope you have great memories of the time you had with your spouse! Kevin Arnold once said: “Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. We had a deal that I would be the first to go. I'm afraid God and my Bible have been no comfort. I've been totally disabled for 20 years. He brought the world to me and it's not had to believe he killed himself trying. I know I should be okay with it by now, but I'm not. God had already taken so much. No kids and 20 years of disability. But I thought it was a pretty fair deal until he took my husband. My faith is shattered.

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Alexander Risten

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. We had a deal that I would be the first to go. I'm afraid God and my Bible have been no comfort. I've been totally disabled for 20 years. He brought the world to me and it's not had to believe he killed himself trying. I know I should be okay with it by now, but I'm not. God had already taken so much. No kids and 20 years of disability. But I thought it was a pretty fair deal until he took my husband. My faith is shattered.

It is normal for faith to be "shattered" after a huge loss. It is difficult to make sense when we believe in a good God on the one side, but experience the harsh reality of a life that does not always show the goodness of God. I do not think that this is the best place to open theological debates, but some people do manage to re-affirm their faith, even after devastating losses. In the Bible we have a few examples like David (losing two children) and Job (losing all his children and possessions). One of the most telling parts of a believer struggling is Psalm 73. Asaph opens this harrowing Psalm with the words:"

1 Truly God is good to the upright,to those who are pure in heart.2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,my steps had well nigh slipped.3 For I was envious of the arrogant,when I saw the prosperity of the wicked."

He then lists all the things the wicked do without any implications while he feels his life was hell even though he did everything according to God's will. Listen to verses 13-14 and 16-17

"13
All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence.
14
For all the day long I have been stricken, and chastened every morning."

16
But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task,
17
until I went into the sanctuary of God;

Although it was a large struggle for him, he ended with the following words after his ordeal:

26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.
28
But for me it is good to be near God;

I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all thy works.

What you experience is normal, I just hope you find peace again.

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stargazer5510

It is normal for faith to be "shattered" after a huge loss. It is difficult to make sense when we believe in a good God on the one side, but experience the harsh reality of a life that does not always show the goodness of God. I do not think that this is the best place to open theological debates, but some people do manage to re-affirm their faith, even after devastating losses. In the Bible we have a few examples like David (losing two children) and Job (losing all his children and possessions). One of the most telling parts of a believer struggling is Psalm 73. Asaph opens this harrowing Psalm with the words:"

He then lists all the things the wicked do without any implications while he feels his life was hell even though he did everything according to God's will. Listen to verses 13-14 and 16-17

Although it was a large struggle for him, he ended with the following words after his ordeal:

What you experience is normal, I just hope you find peace again.

Job is always the book people throw at you when you're experiencing suffering and loss. I've read it and read it again and listened to discussions about it.

Bottom line is this. Job suffers. God and the devil play games with him. God lets him suffer.

So, you can take Job and shove it. There's nothing there to soothe anyone except the message that, "it could be worse - look at Job."

No idea what you're implying with the references to the wicked. Sorry, but I find no comfort in the Bible. I'm finding no comfort anywhere right now. Nobody's fault. Just the way it is.

Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional. That's the Buddha's wisdom. Makes more sense to me right now.

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stargazer5510

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so harsh. Thank you for being kind enough to reply and offer support.

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Alexander Risten

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so harsh. Thank you for being kind enough to reply and offer support.

No problem, I have had far worse :rolleyes: My replies were no attempt to try and argue that these texts should offer you comfort. Rather I tried to show that even people who stood in faith struggle like those who do not believe, sometimes it appears as if they struggle more.

Job is always the book people throw at you when you're experiencing suffering and loss. I've read it and read it again and listened to discussions about it.

Bottom line is this. Job suffers. God and the devil play games with him. God lets him suffer.

So, you can take Job and shove it. There's nothing there to soothe anyone except the message that, "it could be worse - look at Job."

No idea what you're implying with the references to the wicked. Sorry, but I find no comfort in the Bible. I'm finding no comfort anywhere right now. Nobody's fault. Just the way it is.

Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional. That's the Buddha's wisdom. Makes more sense to me right now.

As I said above, Job was just an example of another person who struggled to understand and who never found any straight answers to his questions.You have read Job, so you will know that God never answered any of his questions. Job did find peace in the end, but that is another story. He struggled to make sense... like you. So again, you are not alone. I did not offer Job with the implication that you should be like him in that sense. Rather, Job reminds us that sometimes people looses everything, but even a single loss can be just as devastating.

The reference to the wicked was along the same lines: the inability of God's children to understand a world of pain and hurt. Asaph looked at the "wicked" and he could not understand why they prosper and he struggles. He also found peace, but I just wanted to show you that pain and hurt is truly universal. :unsure: Even those who find their answers in the Bible, sometimes experience such pain that the Bible no longer answers their questions. It can become a real struggle.

I am a believer and I do find comfort in the Bible, and I regularly see people go through the most devastating experiences and find refuge in God. I only tried to echo your words. God does not always make sense, and for some the reality of pain becomes so big that they are unable to find any proof of goodness in this world.

I still hope you find peace in the end, and sorry if I created the idea that I want to drag you to the Bible.

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I too lost faith in God, even though I'm not that into Church every Sunday. I pray at home and did in the hospital. I was mad a God and sometimes I still get mad. But I'm looking at it this way. My wife suffered for 5 years. I always told her if I could take that pain from you and into me I would. Now I'm starting to relized God did just that. She is pain free with Him. Now I'm the one with the pain of loss. So in a way I'm learning to deal with it better. What he took away He replaced with the will for me to stop the pain pills. Just like a marrage is give and take so too is God.....Just my way of coping. Everyone here has their own thought on these things. I'm trying to take one day at a time and know my wife and God are watching over me everyday. She will live on forever in my thoughts and heart.......

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Alexander Risten

I too lost faith in God, even though I'm not that into Church every Sunday. I pray at home and did in the hospital. I was mad a God and sometimes I still get mad. But I'm looking at it this way. My wife suffered for 5 years. I always told her if I could take that pain from you and into me I would. Now I'm starting to relized God did just that. She is pain free with Him. Now I'm the one with the pain of loss. So in a way I'm learning to deal with it better. What he took away He replaced with the will for me to stop the pain pills. Just like a marrage is give and take so too is God.....Just my way of coping. Everyone here has their own thought on these things. I'm trying to take one day at a time and know my wife and God are watching over me everyday. She will live on forever in my thoughts and heart.......

I will pray for you. Good luck with your journey.

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stargazer5510

Good point, mandala. I really didn't want to face Job when I came here. I just wanted to honor my husband and express my grief and pain.

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stargazer5510

No problem, I have had far worse :rolleyes: My replies were no attempt to try and argue that these texts should offer you comfort. Rather I tried to show that even people who stood in faith struggle like those who do not believe, sometimes it appears as if they struggle more.

As I said above, Job was just an example of another person who struggled to understand and who never found any straight answers to his questions.You have read Job, so you will know that God never answered any of his questions. Job did find peace in the end, but that is another story. He struggled to make sense... like you. So again, you are not alone. I did not offer Job with the implication that you should be like him in that sense. Rather, Job reminds us that sometimes people looses everything, but even a single loss can be just as devastating.

The reference to the wicked was along the same lines: the inability of God's children to understand a world of pain and hurt. Asaph looked at the "wicked" and he could not understand why they prosper and he struggles. He also found peace, but I just wanted to show you that pain and hurt is truly universal. :unsure: Even those who find their answers in the Bible, sometimes experience such pain that the Bible no longer answers their questions. It can become a real struggle.

I am a believer and I do find comfort in the Bible, and I regularly see people go through the most devastating experiences and find refuge in God. I only tried to echo your words. God does not always make sense, and for some the reality of pain becomes so big that they are unable to find any proof of goodness in this world.

I still hope you find peace in the end, and sorry if I created the idea that I want to drag you to the Bible.

I've had more time to think about this. I am glad you're a believer and you find comfort and you've regularly seen people go through the most devastating experiences and find refuge in God. But your message only caused me more pain. I think that's what you need to know. I hope you won't do it to others.

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UnderHis Wings

I'm so sorry for your grief and pain, stargazer. Death comes to everyone and usually there is someone left behind to grieve. And then someday it will be our turn to leave this place. I've been taught that there's a better life in heaven. My husband was in so much pain from his cancer that he requested hospice. I miss him, but I believe that he's pain free now. And I still love him and I want him to rejoice with me that his pain is gone!

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