dad

[ernurse99]

My dad passed dec 2nd 2007 early in the morning,  of  a fatal heart attack. it took me 3 months to visit the cemetery. i want so badly to feel a connection to him like when he was here, but i cant seem too. I have tried many things that we would do together or places we went but i cant seem to find a connection anywhere. I have always been a dreamer, and would have these really weird dreams. so when dad died i thought i would dream of him, but here i am 3 months 1wk later and nothing.I think of him constantly and still shed many tears everyday. I have 3 brothers and a sister (i am the youngest).My mom has been good through all this, but our family was never the lets talk about your feeling types. so here i am , coming from a  large family yet feeling alone in all this. It is getting better where i am not crying at the drop of a hat any more, but that horrible feeling of lonliness is always there.

Dad i love you now as i did when you were here, missing you always

your baby

sarah

[veryhardloss]

I too came from a very large family. 12 on my mothers side. I grew up with many close cousins. I lost my mother June 13, 2005 to cancer. We were very close. The only family I have left of her sisters and brothers is 3. Many of my family members live far away and  I don't often get to visit them, exept during weddings and funerals. I still cry, and miss my mother very much. I try to do things that she enjoyed, like painting or gardening to keep her alive in my heart. I know your pain and  know what you are going through. It does get better over time.   I am the youngest and have one brother and one sister who i don't see much since mom died. It can get very lonely without having my mother around, we spoke daily and had very many good conversations. That i miss the most. It still bothers me when i can't pick up the phone and call. I think that the grieving process is different for everyone. It is certain that we all share the same pain with loss.

 

[soliel32]

 Hello Sarah, whether you believe this or not your always going to have a connection with your  father.  Your a part of his seed, his blue print is in your veins.  Your morning, your in pain so its hard to see anything clear and thats normal.  Its normal to cry everyday, there will be better or worse days than others.  My father also died of a fatal heart attack.  It was awful I still can't believe I witness it.  But I'll tell you something heaven does exist.  Maybe one of your emotions is anger and thats okay too.   He is with you in spirit.  In time you will dream of him.  Love never dies, the love he has for you is always alive, I know hard to believe because he is not here.  But believe me you will be him in heaven again.  Sonia  PS.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, A REMINDER WHERE YOU CAME FROM.  One day at a time.

[pcb1902]

Sarah,

Your connection with your dad will always be there - he's half of the pair that created you, he'll always be a part of you.

I too lost my dad to a heart attack in January 2007 - he was ill with liver cancer but it came as such a shock to lose him so suddenly in this way.  I felt that I didn't have a connection but I think it was because I was waiting for some big massive sign, like a shove and a big jolt, while I was waiting for that I probably missed the subtle things that were there all the time.  If you don't feel your dad when you go to any special place then you don't need to go there, your connection is already there in you and will never be broken, you just need to think of him and keep hiim in your mind and heart.

I had a friend that took her own life 8 years ago and I dreamt of her a couple of months after she passed, I thought I'd get the same thing with dad and I've been desperate to dream of him but I haven't (other than one dream where he made a small "guest" appearance).

I too am from a large family (youngest of five) and we don't "talk about feelings" in the traditional sense, I for one don't seem to be allowed to have feelings (or so it seems sometimes) and when I hear my mum say how hard others are taking dad's passing it's hard, you want to shout and scream and say err  hello, aren't we forgetting someone, but then I feel selfish and guilty for thinking that way,  sometimes people get caught up in their grief though and probably without meaning to they just forget that others feel the loss too.

Sorry for going on but just know that you're not alone, any time you wish to talk or vent, have a ramble on, feel free, I'll always listen.

Trisha

[perfectfan]

Hi Sarah,

Coincidentally we share the same name, almost.  Mine is without the 'h' though, hah.  And my mother passed away exactly one month after your dad, talk about coincidence eh.  Even though I'm sure our experiences and feeling may differ but the pain of losing a parent is smiliar, and I can swear it's never easy to grapple with the loss of your dad/mum.  Alas, life still has to move on  (I'm sure your dad's looking after you in heaven) and you'd reailse time doesn't heal the pain, we just learn to deal with it with each passing day.

You still have us and a wonderful mother, don't you? =)

Cheerios!