Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Letters to my Dad


diana1z55

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I lost my dad last week to cancer . My dad has been battling cancer and chrones disease for most of his life. He learned to deal with the chrones disease and beat cancer the first time before I was born. Two years ago my dad was diagnosed with cancer, again! This time it was inoperable. They gave him 6 months to 2 years. When we found out I was devastated. I was getting married that year and we weren't sure he would make it. He did and it was one of the best memories I think I have of him. He lived to see all 3 of his kids get married and and has two wonderful grandchildren. My son, Eli (11) and my brothers daughter, Mia (2). After the wedding and after the new year my dad started going downhill. It was so hard to see and deep down everyone knew the end was near. Sept. 17th early in the morning the cancer took his life! I miss him so much. He was such a great dad. He gave us such a great and memorable childhood filled with so much family fun. We went on great vacations, and spent a lot of family quality time together that I will never forget. I have written my dad a letter via cyber space everyday since his passing that I'd like to share

Hi Dad! I miss you so much! I am glad you are in a better place. I just wanted you to know that the past couple years when you were sick I feel like I could have been there for you a little bit more. It was really hard for me to see you in so much pain. The past few months were really hard for me and that is why I did not speak much when I was with you. I didn't want you to see me hurting and it was hard for me not to cry when I was with you. I dont really like to show my emotions to anyone and I think I try a little to hard to be strong. I know you wouldn't want me to have any regrets but this one lays hard on my shoulder.

I hope you are looking down on ALL of us and if there is anyway you can ever let me know you are here please do. I really miss you. I am going to miss having you here for the holidays, at the cabin and any vacations we go on. It's hard for me when I go to moms house to. She said right before you past away she could smell you and Lee said she woke up right before you past too. I hope that was you saying goodbye. I am such a heavy sleeper that maybe you tried to say goodbye but I didn't wake up.

Eli misses you too. He is trying to be strong but I hope he doesn't bottle things in like I do. He keeps asking me if I am ok and always asking me if I need anything because I keep crying because I miss you so much!

I wish so badly you could write me back or I could call you or text you or IM you! I miss you, I miss you, I miss you! I miss you so much I dont want to stop writing you this letter.

I know you wont be forgotten and we will talk about you often. We have had so many great memories. I have been thinking of my childhood a lot the past few days and wow, we really did a lot of great things and have a lot of awesome memories of camping, vacations, cabin trips, fishing, boating, family events, holidays. I am going to miss all of that with you!

I guess I will say goodbye for now...

I love you Dad

Love always and forever,

Diana

September 19

Hi Dad, So it has not gotten any easier and I still miss you a lot. Eli and I talked about you a lot today! He is still being super strong. We talked about all of the things that you had a chance to teach him. He will never forget how you taught him how to fish and even gutting the fish so he can eat them! He also wants me to get a model rocket so he can show us how to shoot it off! I hope you are with us in spirit when we get to do these adventures without you!

It just feels so empty without you! I miss you and love you more than you will ever know!

I love you Dad

Love always and forever,

Diana

September 20

Hi Dad! So today was a little easier. Maybe because I didn't really do much other then play silly games online and trying to prepare myself to go back to work. I have about two weeks of craziness to prepare for at work.

I called Jason and talked to him for a little bit. It was good to talk to him.

Anyway, I am going to make it short today. I ordered Chinese for dinner. Not up to cooking or much of anything else today.

I love you Dad

Love always and forever,

Diana

September 21

Hi Dad! I still miss you and I don't think there will ever be a day that I don't think about you. Today was a little bit easier until now. I think I just kept myself busy getting back into the swing of things at work.

Eli wants to keep all of your rocket stuff and maybe teach us how to do it all. We keep talking about the time you guys shot the rocket and it landed on the 101 and you had to call Lee and Dave to come rescue it! Those are the memories we will be keeping close to our hearts!

I miss you so much, dad. I want so badly for you to be here with us!

I love you Dad

Love always and forever,

Diana

September 22

Hi Dad! I know I keep saying that I miss you but I think I miss you more as each day passes. I hope you are looking down on us. I am going to make this short today. I had a long day at work and it is going to be a LONG week. We have a big visit this Thursday we are getting ready for at work.

Eli and I were talking about Rufus the other day. He was one of my favorite dogs and I know yours too! I know you are with him and Max now! Miss you tons!!!!

I love you Dad

Love always and forever,

Diana

September 23

Hi Dad! I really don't know how or when things will get easier. It is so hard to believe you aren't here. I hope it gets better. I can't even imagine how the holidays are going to be without you or going to the cabin! I miss you so damn much!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

September 24

Hi Dad! So I broke down and cried this morning at work. It has been one week and I had a rough morning. I also had a hard time on my way home from work. I hate it that you are gone. OK, this is going to be short because I am going to start crying again.

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Tuesday

Hi Dad! I love you and miss you! I am kind of glad I didn't pick up ELi at yours and moms house yesterday and today! It is hard to go there because you should be sitting on the couch watching tv and on your computer or IPAD. It is going to be one long road for me to get used to. I hope you are resting in peace and I am so glad you are no longer in pain!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Wednesday

Hi Dad! I write you everyday because I want you yo know how much I miss you and how much you meant to me. I still can't believe you are gone. It is the worst feeling in the world. It just seems so empty without you here.

It has been a rough week at work and I have a huge visit to get ready for.

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Yesterday

Hi Dad! So we did it! We got an "A" on our tour! My hard work paid off! I am getting nervous about family coming in next week for the service. It is going to be so hard. Dacy is coming too! I really wish this was a family gathering with you, not saying goodbye! This sucks so bad! I love you so much!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

19 minutes ago

Hi Dad! The last couple days have been really hard. Out of the blue I have been getting really emotional and can't stop thinking about you. Sometime when I close my eyes I see you there and I just want to cry! I hate it that you aren't here anymore. Does this feeling ever get better? I am getting a little scared about the service. I know I am going to be a wreck but I am ok with it. I know I hold my feelings in and don't like people to see me cry but I don't care! I want everyone to know how much I miss you!

I am going to start writing the eulogy for the service. I will share it with you after I write it.

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

I wanted to share this because this is helping me cope (I think) please share what you do to help ease the pain of someone you lost that you love and miss so much!

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Diana,

First of all, I'd like to say how sorry I am for the loss of your dad. He sounds like a wonderful father. Next, I'd like to thank you for sharing your letters. Writing letters to our lost loved ones truly do help during our healing. You've also reached out to good people in a good place. We will be here to support you.

Do you have a support system at home? Is there anyone you can talk to or share with?

ModKonnie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi ModKonnie,

I have a great support system at home. I am the youngest of three and I tend to be more sensetive but bottle everything in and try really hard not to show my emotions. I start taking it out on everyone around me. I just want ideas on how to make this a little easier. I am also preparing for the service that we are going to have a week from today. I get mini anxiety attacks over that. I want to write a eulogy but I dont even know where to begin!

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I'm sorry for your loss, Diana. I think the idea of writing letters to your dad every day is brilliant, and I hope it's been helping you. I similarly find that writing can be helpful. I wrote a very long letter to my mother after she died.. It helped, in a way, by letting me sort my thoughts.

If you would like to share memories you have of your dad, I'm trying to get a website set up where people can share memories of departed loved ones. If you feel like it would be helpful, or if you'd just like people to be able to read stories about him, the website is MemDen: The Den of Memories.

-Jon

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Letter to my Dad 9/29/2012

Hi Dad! So today was my first day off in 8 days! I moped around the house most of the day because 1. I was just plain tired from such a long week and 2. because I miss you so damn much! I finally got off my butt and went to the park with Eli and played some football. I swear you were there with us. I kept feeling cold patches and wondering if it was you! Anyway, we laid down in the grass and watched the sunset for a few minutes...Eli felt a little silly so we didn't lay there too long. It was very pretty though. So then Eli and I went and swung on the swings for a few minutes and stared at the full moon! What a beautiful night! After that we went to Wendy's for dinner. It felt good to get out! Ed went out with Curtis for a movie so I figured it would be good to hang out with my little Eli!

I still miss you a lot dad!

I love you Dad,

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

9/30/12

Hi Dad! I posted some more pictures online and have had a lot of people comment. You are missed by a lot of friends and family!

Lee went to the cabin this past week. I am sure it was hard. It was one of your favorite places. It was hard for me to go up there when you were sick knowing you probably would never be able to go again! I miss you!

I found a great web site that I talk to people who are going through the same thing I am. Loss of someone we love so dearly! I hope you don't mind me sharing my letters to you on there! I hope it can help others heal. I use the website so others can help me. It has been so hard losing you! You were the BEST dad!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/01/12

Hi Dad! Wow! Today was a really rough day! Mondays must be my melt down day at work! Yes, I cried two times today at work! It has been two weeks since you left us! Mom started the collage and there are some great pictures! I looked at some that Lee scanned on the computer! It feels good to look at old pictures of you! It makes me sad but the memories are great! I love you and miss you! I have to get going. I have to work VERY early. Another BIG visit tomorrow! Wish me luck!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

My mother passed away in 2006. The last two years I've been working on a website so that I could honor her. I came up with www.deiningthedash.com which is a free online community where people can post tributes, memories, photos, videos and write the biography for our loved ones who have passed on. I hope this can help you as it has me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/02/12

Hi Dad! Boy do I need a break! I have worked a million hours the past few days and I am tired! It probably doesn't help that I feel like I am getting sick! Part of me thinks it is stress. Work has been nuts and I am really getting nervous about your service on Sat! I can't wait to see everyone but I hate it that its because we have to say goodbye to you! I know I am going to be a mess!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
MissingMyMom10

Hi Diana... :)

First, I want to send you a BIG HUG !! I just love my mother to breast cancer on September 10th. I miss her so much that I just about can't stand it... :(

Second, I want to say that I think your idea of writing a letter everyday to your father is such an awesome idea... I would like to thank you because I think I am going to start doing this very same thing and start writing my mother a letter every day. :) I think it is something that will really help me with losing her.

So - THANK YOU for sharing your letters to your dad. You have helped me and I really appreciate it.

Hugs to you - if you'd ever like to chat, please let me know. I am dreading the holidays, but I know there are so many others out there with losses like ours and I know we have a lot of support. :)

Take care - and keep up your letters to your dad. :)

Carolyn :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/03/2012

Hi Dad! Two more days until your service! :(blank.gif Jason flew in today! It was great to see him! Eli was very excited to see uncle Jason! He brought him a lego set and Jason asked me to stay a little bit longer so they could build it! Dina comes in tomorrow morning and Dacy tomorrow night! I can't wait to see everyone but again I hate the reason for it!

We worked on your collage! It is fun to see the pictures but it hurts because I miss you so much and there are so many great memories!

It is pretty late so I have to get to bed!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Diana... :)

First, I want to send you a BIG HUG !! I just love my mother to breast cancer on September 10th. I miss her so much that I just about can't stand it... :(

Second, I want to say that I think your idea of writing a letter everyday to your father is such an awesome idea... I would like to thank you because I think I am going to start doing this very same thing and start writing my mother a letter every day. :) I think it is something that will really help me with losing her.

So - THANK YOU for sharing your letters to your dad. You have helped me and I really appreciate it.

Hugs to you - if you'd ever like to chat, please let me know. I am dreading the holidays, but I know there are so many others out there with losses like ours and I know we have a lot of support. :)

Take care - and keep up your letters to your dad. :)

Carolyn :)

Hi Carolyn,

I am so sorry for your loss too! It is really hard! I have never had anyone pass so close to me! The letters do help. I am glad I inspired you to do the same thing. Most days it is just a quick note but It helps me! My dads service is in a few days and I know it is going to be super hard! The holidays are going to be really hard for me too! I want to send hugs your way too!!! =)

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/04/12

Hi Dad! Here is my Eulogy as of now. Man, was it hard to write. I am getting the courage to read it now instead of having someone else read it. Here it goes...

My father was a wonderful man. He was a father, husband, grandfather (pepa) and friend to many people. Losing my father was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. My father was a smart man who worked hard and new how to play hard!

I have so many great memories of our great family adventures that I will miss having him on so much. Camping when I was a kid, house boat trips, skiing black diamonds with my dad even though I was scared out of my mind, Disneyland, New England, Hawaii, road trips but most of all I am going to miss the good old family time. Dinners, holidays, barbeques, but most of all trips to the cabin. That was his favorite place besides Hawaii. It is going to be hard without him but his memory will always be in our hearts when my family is together.

Today we are here to grieve the loss of my father who I will miss greatly. Everyone here loved and respected him so much. Let’s not forget what he has taught us over the years and cherish all of the great memories we had together.

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/05/12

Hi Dad! Tomorrow is the day! I am so scared for the service! It is going to be so hard. I took Dacy to see Grammy today! She loved seeing her. Grammy is so heartbroken you are gone. We all are! I miss you so much! I know you will be there with us in our celebration of your life tomorrow! I love more then you will ever know!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/06/12

Hi Dad! This morning was the service! It was a great service and Lee, Jason, Dina, Eli and I all gave great speeches. You meant everything to all of us! Eli had some sad news this morning too! His hamster died! He was so upset so he had the reverend read his. He did such a great job writing it! It was nice to see everyone that loved you so much together today! We are going to go to dinner with Jason, Dina and Dacy tonight! We are going to the Persian Room. I bet you remember that place! Anyway, I love you so much dad!

I love you Dad!

Love always and Forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/07/12

Hi Dad! Well the weekend is winding down and everyone is slowly going home. We are going to dinner with Dacy and mom tonight! It's sad not having you here with us. I miss you and I hate it that you aren't here! =( Mom, Eli and I are going to PA to visit Jason, Dina and baby Mia next week. I spent the day with Dacy today and we went and spent the afternoon with grammy. She had us digging through some of her old jewelry! It was a good time! She had some pretty crazy stuff! I love you so much dad and I miss you so much!

I love you Dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/08/12

Hi Dad! Today I went back to work and was the first day since Sept. 17th that I have felt normal again! Your service was beautiful and I feel that I now have some peace and closer. Don't worry though, I still will think about you everyday! I am going to try and write a few times a week now instead of everyday!

Eli bought a new hamster. Her name is CHUBS! I know, not a name we would pick! We all miss you so much!

I love you dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/11/12

Hi Dad! So it's been a few days since I last wrote! Mom, Eli and I are going to visit Jason, Dina and Mia! I can't wait to see Mia. She is probably so big now! I hope you are there in spirit with us. I can't wait to see "real" fall weather too! I remember always going to MA in the fall with either you or mom. I miss you so much dad but I do have to say it has gotten a little bit easier just knowing you are no longer in any pain! I know you are watching over us.

I love you dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

My mother passed away in 2006. The last two years I've been working on a website so that I could honor her. I came up with www.deiningthedash.com which is a free online community where people can post tributes, memories, photos, videos and write the biography for our loved ones who have passed on. I hope this can help you as it has me.

Do you have an updated link? This one didn't work

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

10/19/2012

Hi Dad! It's been a while since I have written. We just got back from visiting Jason, Dina and Mia! It was a nice trip and Mia is so much fun to be around. She is so well behaved for a two year old! I wish you were here to see her. Eli did awesome with her too! They are great cousins!

I really miss not having you around! It seems really weird to not have you here! Some days I am ok with it and others I just want to call you or stop by! I really do think you are here in spirit sometimes! I hope that is you and I'm not just imagining it!

Eli is going to try out for football Monday! I think he is going to be great at it!

I love you dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

11/01/12

Hi Dad! So, yesterday was Halloween. We all went to moms. I dressed up as a 70's house wife and wore one of moms old dresses and Grammys old costume jewelry! Eli was another zombie. This year was our first year not having you there with us. =( You would have been happy, mom didn't play that music you hated so much...haha! Next year Lee and I brought it up to mom to have a our Halloween festivities out in the driveway and have a bbq and set up chairs and pass out candy. Lee and I are going to make Jello shots to hand out to the adults. We went to a house when we took Eli a few years ago that were passing the jello shots out to the adults and we thought it was such a funny, clever idea! Anyway, it was fun but we miss you so much and we are going to miss you for Thanksgiving and Christmas more than you will ever know!

My life is going to get more crazy after this week. The holidays are coming and I will be working 6 days for the next 6 weeks. YUCK! OH....I don't think I told you, Eli got honor roll, again, 5th time in a row! He is so proud and we are really proud of him! I know you would be too! Well, I am going to get going. I have today off and I need to clean and get some food into this house. I love you and I miss you so much! =( Things aren't the same with you not around! =(

I love you dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hey Guys! I just wanted to share that my letters to my dad are helping me a lot. I don't feel the need to write every day anymore. I write about every two weeks. I send an e-mail to my dad but I copy and paste on this site to share. Most letters are very simple. They are mostly to let him know how I am doing and to say hello!

I miss him so much but as days go on, it gets easier. I do have some bad days and random sad moments that come out of nowhere. I think that is normal and I am really ok with that. I miss my dad so much and now that the holidays are fast approaching, I know I will have these days and or those moments more frequently.

I'd love to hear your stories and your ideas that help you cope. Please share on my forum and check back often for more letters to my dad.

Take Care Everyone!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

11/10/12

Hi Dad! For some reason I am missing you more this week. I have had a lot of little moments where I just want to cry because you aren't here anymore. I worry about mom too! She seems different lately and It worries me. I am glad I get to see her Mondays and Tuesdays when she watches Eli.

Lee and Dave went to the cabin. I hope you are there in spirit with them. Lee posted some pictures on Facebook and it is Snowing!. It is pretty cold here in Phx too. Everyone is doing good. Staying pretty busy. I took Spazz to Grammy's. She seemed to enjoy having him there but he barked a lot so Eli had to keep taking him outside.

I love you dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Just got home from a crazy day at work this Thanksgiving evening! I am thankful that I have such a wonderful team! I am also thankful for my mom who cooked a wonderful dinner and made it early enough for me to join them! I am thankful for being able to celebrate Thanksgiving with my brother and his family who flew here from Pa. I am thankful to have a great family and a wonderful husband and an amazing son! I am thankful that I have so many great memories of my dad to remember during the holidays! I am Thankful that I have some amazing friends! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! =)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

12/06/12

Hi Dad! I know I haven't sent you a letter in a long time. Works been crazy, crazy! I am missing you a lot now that the holidays are here. Mom said she wasn't sure if she was going to get a tree. I am making her get one. She has been very sad and overwhelmed lately. I wish there was something more I could do to cheer her up! I hope you are watching down on us! I love you so much and miss you everyday! For some reason I think about you a lot while driving. Maybe it's my long commute to work. I went Christmas shopping today. I saw a few things that I would have got you if you were still here! Ok...I am going to get going before I start to cry!

I love you dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

12/24/12

Hi Dad! Merry Christmas Eve! I got mom a tree and Eli and I helped decorate it. It looks very nice. She said she really missed not having you around to help make the decisions for the holidays. I can't imagine how that must be. Lee and I have been very supportive. As much as we can. We both have been working insane hours but we make the time! We are going to yours and moms house as usual in the morning and then I am having Christmas dinner at my place. Mom, Grammy, Jason, Ginger, Ed And Eli! I have some big shoes to fill for dinner!

I hate to break some bad news to you but Jason is getting a divorce. We found out yesterday. Dina cheated on him. I am so disgusted with her and angry she could hurt my brother and their daughter like that. Anyway, Jason got a flight to come home for the holidays. He will be here tonight I am glad he will be here but not happy about the reason.

Dad, I miss you so much and I am so sad you wont be here with us! I will be thinking about you so much! I love, I miss you and I wish you a merry Christmas!

I love you dad!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

12/24/12

Dad!

I forgot one more thing! Eli got honor roll, again. I am so pround of my amazing son as I know you would be too!

Love always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Dad!

As I am sure you know...Jason is now with you! I am sure you are as shocked as we are. Please be there for him. I miss him so much. I still don't and can't understand why he did this. I can't beleive I lost you and my brother in the same damn year! We are all coping but it sure is hard! I miss you a lot too, dad! I havent been up to much of anything lately. It's been one tough year. I just wanted to pop in and say hi since I haven't wrote in a while.

I love you Dad!

Love always and Forever,

Diana

I miss you and Jason more then ever and I wish you both could come back!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Dad!

This weekend mom took Eli and I up to the ski resort! Eli went snowboarding while I was skiing! Eli did great but had one big fall. I thought about you a lot yesterday on your Birthday! I was getting a little sad skiing up there remembering all the great times we had with you, me, mum and Jason! I hate knowing now that you AND Jason will never be able to share those memories with us again! We can now only remember the great memories we had in the past! It has been really hard for me to get over the loss of Jason. I still cant understand why he did what he did! I really hope you guys are together and that he is ok! I know that you are because it was your time even though I didnt want you to go. Jason was way to young and had so much more to offer this world! I just miss him! It is going to be hard to be civil to Dina but I know we have to so we can see little Mia! I don't understand why he would leave his baby girl! These are answers we will never get! It is so heartbreaking and sad and its hard to move on! I know I have to and I do but it is so hard! Here is a quote that I found that I live by everyday!

"YOU NEVER KNOW HOW STRONG YOU ARE…

UNTIL BEING STRONG

IS THE ONLY CHOICE YOU HAVE"

I love you dad!

Love Always and forever,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Dad!

I dont really have much to say lately. Still coping with all of this loss. Jason's memorial is in a week. This still seems so unreal. I miss you and Jason every day!

I love you,

Diana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.