11 years out from the loss of my beloved 13 year old Evan

[angelzone]

First of all, in order for me to write this I asking for no sympthy or condolences.. please. I don't want or need them.

About 20 years ago my younger sister was murdered, then 11 years ago my beautiful son Evan was killed while riding his bike on the sidewalk in what one would call an idylic New England town. People started asking me how I could cope with such tragedy and my answer was I didn't and couldn't. I wasn't the same person anymore. I was different. I did write a book about this incident and my son's incredible life.

I took anti-depressants for the first two years, as did my wife. They helped tremendously. I am not into needless suffering. It's not honorable or dutiful. Eleven years later my heart is still broken, but I can laugh, have a somewhat decent life and spend important time with my now 21 year old son, helping him to understand how and why things on this earth work. And I can only do that through my experiences, not something I read in a book.

How do I know? Because I refused right from beginning to acknowledge there were no answers. It's like you have lost your dog and you say to yourself, "well, I 'll never find my dog so why look." Then you don't find your dog and say to yourself, see I knew the dog couldn't be found. Really dumb logic. Well, it's not exactly logic, just laziness.

Faith is good for some, but it didn't do anything for me. Faith to me is believing in something that you haven't experenced. Belief is just a way of saying .... I don't know. Well, I did want to know. Your faith my be right or wrong. We'll find out one day,but I am not a betting person. I perfer to have the odds on my side.

I went to see a few mediums, two of which were incredibly helpful, particularly the reading and books by Geeorge Anderson, www.georgeanderson.com I am reading a new book by him called Ask George Anderson. It's just incredible how much I can get from a few pages in that book. I've been to see George Anderson and had a reading. Highly recommended if you want to take a step rather than read about other people's steps.

I was also past life regressed with the assistant of Brian Weiss... www.brianweiss.com. where I met my son in the spirit world. Can't really explain how incredible that was. His book, Many Lives, Many Masters is a must read if you want to understand the past and the present, in terms of this life. When I read about being in a past life I was rather intrigued. Reading a book is like reading a menu. You can read about the food, but the menu isn't the food. It Isn't the meal. When I was in a past life through regression, i did have the incredible experience of meeting Evan where he was... in the spirit world. Incredible can't describe the experience. I wrote about the session in my book.

These experiences have helped me to understand somewhat my lot in life and that helps me to understand why I am here. And that is of utmost importantce to me.

For all of you that have recently lost someone... there is understanding, but you have to go out and look for it. Maybe it will come to you, maybe not but by searching and trying to open yourself up to some answers that you didn't think you could find may be found, Being open will/may help you, and could possibly lead to a future that you couldn't imagine. A future where you know rather than have to believe.

It took years for me to really get the intense pain behind me, and when people say time does heal, they are right. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of time, at least for me. Now I look back fondly at the wonderful life my son had and look forward to being with him in the future.

At this point, Evan, most of the time seems like a far off memory, which is helpful as far as my mental state goes, and sometimes, it makes me really sad how far away Evan seems. But I do know he is with me, and I am certainly with him. We will always be together.

[ModKonnie]

Thank you for sharing.

ModKonnie

[Angel'sSon]

angelzone, my son passed away 6 weeks ago, 30 yrs. old. he shot himself in the head. There were no signs of anything being wrong at all. He was my best friend and left behing a wife and baby girl, 9 months old. I have talked to another person on here about going to a medium, hoping to make since of it all. I don't work, so I have plenty of time to think about him. I want to think about the good times, but they are not there!! I still feel like I'm in a nightmare and I want to wake up. I just saved your book www.evansearthlyadventure.com to my favorites and will get on it later as well as yhe others!! I'm still in a daze and emotions are up and down. Thanks for sharing!!!!

[dsmurph]

To Angel's son Susan, My 14 year old daughter passed away the same way on Oct. 25, 2012. We are in such pain. We can only deal with each day, each hour as it comes. It is very hard. She was really just a baby, only 14. We miss her so much. We just don't understand why.But we do know we love her and always will. I'm very sorry for your loss and know that you understand how what we are going through. I will keep you in my prayers, please keep us in yours. DSMURH

[dsmurph]

Thank- you.

[Guest]

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[Redium]

Dear Lora,I am very sad for your loss of 14 years child.So don't worry.You have to keep some self confidence in yourself.Keep on faith on god who must help in any other way.So don't be furstration.