Anniversary coming up what should i do?

[gunnerswife]

its september 20. should i ask for it off should i work? should we go out to eat? please help me as i want it not too be to sad.

[kendi]

I AM NOT SURE IF THIS HELPS BUT MY ANNIVERSARY WILL SOON BE COMING UP ON OCTOBER THE 16TH EVEN THO ME AND KENNY WOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 3 YEARS, WE WERE TOGETHER ALMOST 11. HIS HAD A CLOSE FRIEND THAT WAS JUST LIKE A BROTHER THAT HAD ALWAYS WANED TO GO TO THE RESTURANT WERE ME AND KENNY WENT ON OUR HONEYMOON HIM AND KENNY ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT GOING. SO WE DECIDED ON THAT DAY WE WOULD GO AND I AM NOT GOING TO SAY CELEBRATE BECAUSE IT DOES NOT FEEL RIGHTT SAYING THAT BUT JUST TO REMEMBER KENNY AND OUR TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER.I MISS KENNY SO MUCH THAT E ER CHAN E I GET I WANT TO REMEMBER EVERY MOMENT WE HAD I JUST WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU MY PLANS BECAUSE THEY LIFE WE HAD SHOULD BE REMEMBERED HAPPILY AND I THINK THEY WOULD WANT US TO BE HAPPY AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I KEEP YELLING MYSELF SINCE KENNY DID EVERY THING TO MAKE ME SMILE IF I THOUGHT IT HE MADE IT HAPPEN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD BUT JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF WHAT WOULD THEY WANT YOU TO DO I TELL MY KIDS THEY WAY WE KEEP THIER DAD ALIVE IS TO LIVE THEY WAY HE WOULD WANT US TOAND TO REMEMBER EVERY MOMENT

[trawna]

its september 20. should i ask for it off should i work? should we go out to eat? please help me as i want it not too be to sad.

From my experience, this August 28 would have been our 32th anniversary; on every anniversary since my husband's death, my daughter and I have spent the day together (if it's a weekend) and then, whatever day it is, we go out to dinner. Just the two of us, she leaves her husband at home. I reserve a table for two at the back of a small restaurant (so that either or both of us can go ahead and cry our eyes out if we need to without being stared at by other patrons) that we often went to as a family, and she and I talk about her Dad and so of the great (and not-so-great) times we had. It's a family-owned and operated restaurant so the owner knew and knew about my husband's death and he is very understanding and totally non-intrusive on those nights. I will also often remember stuff from her childhood that she knew about but couldn't really remember the whole story, so I can fill in the blanks and share with her things that we did before she was born. It usually winds up happily, rather than sadly, and sometimes it's a real eye-opening opportunity, because she and I may have seen and heard the same event, but it can look very different when see through another's memories. I always come home and cry after, but it really isn't tears of grief, but more like tears of relief, just knowing how she's feeling and what was important to her about her Dad.

After 3+ years now it is taking on its own life as a ritual, and that in itself is helpful.Hope this gives you some ideas!

With best wishes,

Jane