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widower2

Music, movies or other such things that are relevant/helpful/etc

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I just wanted to share a song that I came across earlier and it sums up things in a way that I think a lot of us here can probably relate to. The song is called “Through My Prayers” by theAvett Brothers- it is a new release, and one that just hit me like a ton of bricks while I was out driving this morning.

As one of the Avett Brothers said in a commentary on the song, “It’s just about sort of the whirlwind of thoughts that go through your head when someone very close to you passes away and about sort of coming to terms…there’s maybe some things you didn’t say to them that you really, really wish you would have…and most likely they already knew ‘em even though you didn’t say it out loud. And thinking about how maybe the only way now to say those things to them now is through your prayers…which is kind of devastating.”

Here is the song if you use YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd71E_uWzmM

And the lyrics, very well written inmy opinion http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/the_avett_brothers/through_my_prayers.html

Disclaimer: Not the most uplifting kind of melody

Writing from the trenches,

Joe

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I just wanted to share a song that I came across earlier and it sums up things in a way that I think a lot of us here can probably relate to. The song is called “Through My Prayers” by theAvett Brothers- it is a new release, and one that just hit me like a ton of bricks while I was out driving this morning.

As one of the Avett Brothers said in a commentary on the song, “It’s just about sort of the whirlwind of thoughts that go through your head when someone very close to you passes away and about sort of coming to terms…there’s maybe some things you didn’t say to them that you really, really wish you would have…and most likely they already knew ‘em even though you didn’t say it out loud. And thinking about how maybe the only way now to say those things to them now is through your prayers…which is kind of devastating.”

Here is the song if you use YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd71E_uWzmM

And the lyrics, very well written inmy opinion http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/the_avett_brothers/through_my_prayers.html

Disclaimer: Not the most uplifting kind of melody

Writing from the trenches,

Joe

I just read that again. When my one sister died, my uncle told me I'd better make things right with her. It made me wonder what sort of lies or gossip he'd heard. But I was in touch with her frequently and I have no regrets.

When we do have regrets, it hurts so badly, but if we regret something, that means we learned from our bad experience. How many criminals show no remorse? God forgives us; we can forgive ourselves in time.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. – Isaiah 1:18

I wish you peace, Joe. You're a good person.

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I just read that again. When my one sister died, my uncle told me I'd better make things right with her. It made me wonder what sort of lies or gossip he'd heard. But I was in touch with her frequently and I have no regrets.

When we do have regrets, it hurts so badly, but if we regret something, that means we learned from our bad experience. How many criminals show no remorse? God forgives us; we can forgive ourselves in time.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. – Isaiah 1:18

I wish you peace, Joe. You're a good person.

UHW, thank you for the response and for that verse from Isaiah. I don't know what to say.....sometimes I wonder if I am still in denial?? My brother and I were on good terms when he passed, but from time to time there are things that I regret not having said, or regret not having said as often. Though I suppose thoughts like that are inevitable. Being with him as he was sick truly changed me.

Thank you again, and I wish you peace, too. Hang in there, UHW and everyone.

Joe

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UHW, thank you for the response and for that verse from Isaiah. I don't know what to say.....sometimes I wonder if I am still in denial?? My brother and I were on good terms when he passed, but from time to time there are things that I regret not having said, or regret not having said as often. Though I suppose thoughts like that are inevitable. Being with him as he was sick truly changed me.

Thank you again, and I wish you peace, too. Hang in there, UHW and everyone.

Joe

I can relate to not having said everything you wanted to say. My husband knew I loved him, but did he know how much? Did anyone know how much?

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widower2   

I can relate to not having said everything you wanted to say. My husband knew I loved him, but did he know how much? Did anyone know how much?

Same here. I tell people now say what you have to say NOW because you never know.

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Music was an important part of our life. Dennis was a guitarist and a singer, as well as so many other things he was fantastic at.

He always had a song for everything, a set of lyrics to toss out, or a melody to play. I miss that so much!

Our music collection was extensive, and we had "music days"- no tv..just music, all day long. Our tastes were so eclectic- jazz, classical, blues, rock, country,etc.....we might just play anything.....

I am stuck on Nickelback's "If Today was Your Last Day", Tim McGraw's" Live Like You Were Dying"and Elvis' version of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" .

Dennis always called me his Silvergirl, because of the song. It breaks my heart to hear it..but it also helps in a strange way. It's like he was here when it plays. Still with me, and behind me, and helping me along.

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widower2   

Hi SG, yes exactly, music helps me in those 2 very diff ways - songs that can be sad to listen to for one reason or other, but helps you "let it out" in that way, or songs which are simply happier. I go back and forth but admit lately I've been leaning more on the "let it out" stuff. Hang in there as best you can......!

edit: I re-discovered this one by Acoustic Alchemy (instrumental guitar duo). I guess this fits into the "let it out" category. And the title fits

And Mary Black's "Ellis Island" - obviously not the topic itself, but something about the music and some of the lyrics, eg the refrain - here's a link FWIW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVVBvKZG7QE

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Hello all, I 'm new here. I also find music helps me. I've given up on TV except for my NASCAR race on Sunday. Most days after work when I get home @ 2:00AM I just light a few candles and put on my favorite songs close my eyes and try to clear my mind of everything. It helps. In the morning I try to get to my parents house before work. The week-ends I'm home to clean and wash my clothes. I started to paint the inside of the house to keep busy. My wife passed 2 week before our 17th annivesary that was a bad time for me. The pain never goes away. I'm learning to cope with it.....Steve

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this song has brought me comfort as it brought kyle comfort when he was a way from me for a year. I sent him the lyrics to this song and he replied back that it's exactly how he feels word for word, now I'm able to respond these lyrics back to him as he patiently waits for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL4Zab87D8Q[/media]

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widower2   

Happened to hear Billy Joel's "And so it goes" awhile back - if ever there was a "let it out" song - not sure I want to hear that again for some time - but if you're looking for that kinda song it might do the trick.

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widower2   

Was reminded of this piece by Jeff Beck - warning very sad (and although slow is elec guitar-ish) but IMO very powerful, esp those opening moments - I guess another in the "let it all hang out" category if you're in that mood.

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jpow16   

I find the music of Aaron Copland comforting, especially the theme from "Our Town."

Also the Sarabande from the Goldberg Variations and Prelude 1 from Book 1 of the Well Tempered Clavier, both by J. S. Bach. These are both short pieces, and very soothing. I have the Glenn Gould recordings. When I'm in a somewhat better mood, "Franllin's Tower" by the Grateful Dead is very energizing. Great listening on a brisk walk.

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Tab   

Music seems to be what trips my emotions very easily. My wife loved music and there are certain songs that will catch me off guard and I will start crying. Someone once told me that men don't cry. I sometimes wish I could control when I do but since she passed I cannot. Whenever it hits me I cannot control it. I try but I was never that way before she died. I cannot explain, I can tell you that most of my trips to the store are late at night so I don't have an outburst in front of people. Right or wrong, it happens and I cannot help it. Music is great evan though it makes me cry it is good memories that I have. I miss her and love her.

Mike

We too shared a love of music. I am not a mainstream music lover so when I came to learn that Kellie loved the same music as I did it was quite a surprise and joy.

I still fall back on music but it does trigger sad emotions in me that I cannot resist. It is always the songs we loved, especially the song we called ours, Mountain by Tonic, and I cannot bring myself to skip over them and so I crumble all over again. She left me a song to comfort me, Sky Full of Clover by Beth Hart, but it only does the opposite...at least at this time. One of the lines in the song is..."I'll be there, just look over your shoulder, baby". It always makes me look and yet I see nothing so it tears me up rather than comfort me but my reliance on music has taught me that one day that her intent will come through so her song will heal me as she wanted it to.

"If music be the food of love, play on." ~W. Shakespeare

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Tab   

I just wanted to share a song that I came across earlier and it sums up things in a way that I think a lot of us here can probably relate to. The song is called “Through My Prayers” by theAvett Brothers- it is a new release, and one that just hit me like a ton of bricks while I was out driving this morning.

As one of the Avett Brothers said in a commentary on the song, “It’s just about sort of the whirlwind of thoughts that go through your head when someone very close to you passes away and about sort of coming to terms…there’s maybe some things you didn’t say to them that you really, really wish you would have…and most likely they already knew ‘em even though you didn’t say it out loud. And thinking about how maybe the only way now to say those things to them now is through your prayers…which is kind of devastating.”

Here is the song if you use YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd71E_uWzmM

And the lyrics, very well written inmy opinion http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/the_avett_brothers/through_my_prayers.html

Disclaimer: Not the most uplifting kind of melody

Writing from the trenches,

Joe

What a great song and message. I was hit by the line:

"If you have love in your heart, let it show while you can"

We fought against the monster for 6 months. Those six months feel like a mad rush. We had talked and planned to do little special things together as well as things in preparation of her death while we had time. The next thing we knew we were out of time. The monster sapped her strength and energy rapidly while her pain escalated and I simply tended to her and everything, and I do mean everything, we wanted to do simply never was fulfilled.

After her passing time has all but stood still. My days drag on indefinitely it seems.

My point in all of this is that even though we may feel we have time in actuality the time slips from us like water in our hands. Part of my hurt is from this as well, as in never saying enough how I loved her, how beautiful she is or how fortunate and blessed I am to have her and her love for me in my life.

Time is not always our ally.

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Tab   

Two songs came to mind:

"I Am Stretched on Your Grave" by various artists (personally likes the Abney Park version the best though the Kate Rusby version, which is good as well, is probably closer to a traditional rendition).

"Burn" by Abney Park (in a round-about-way)

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jpow16   

I've put together a playlist for my MP3 player of instrumental and choral music that I've found uplifting and comforting.

Vivaldi: "Gloria," second movement "Et In Terra Pax"

J.S. Bach: Air from Orchestral Suite no. 3, aka "Air on a G String"

J.S. Bach: Concerto no. 5 for Piano and Orchestra, 2nd movement (Largo)

J.S. Bach: Cantata "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring"

Mozart: Symphony 45, first movement (a very lively piece)

Aaron Copland: Theme from the motion picture "Our Town." Flowing and lyrical. His "Appalachian Spring" is good also.

Beethoven: Piano Concerto No. 5 ("Emperor Concerto") movement 2 (Adagio)

Beethoven: Symphony 7 Movement 2 (Alegretto.) This piece was featured in the movie "The King's Speech."

J.S. Bach: Aria from the Goldberg Variations, 1981 recording by Glenn Gould

J.S. Bach: Prelude 1 from Book 1 of the Well Tempered Clavier. (A recording of this piece was among the music collection placed aboard the Voyager 1 spacecraft, which is now nearing the edge of our Solar System.)

Some of these I ripped from CD's. For others I found performances on YouTube and converted them to MP3 files.

For months after my wife's death, I could not listen to any music at all. The only thing I listened to was an hour-long recording of the Coqui frogs of Puerto Rico, where we took our last trip together.

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