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rox411

Death of Cat- can't think straight

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KayC   

Babs,

I am struck by what a beautiful picture of this cat you shared, she looks like my Autumn, who has been gone many years now.

It is so hard to say goodbye to our furry companions, we have lived with them and loved them and it doesn't seem possible when we lose them.  My heart goes out to you in your loss.

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Felix49   

Today I lost my other half, Zeke.  He was more than just our cat.  There is no word or words in the English language to describe what Zeke meant to me, nor to describe how much I truly cared for this handsome, dignified, magnificent creature I was blessed to have as a companion for just over 13 short years.  My sorrow is immeasurable.  Everywhere I look, sit, walk, or go - it seems darker and less because he's no longer there by my side, not in the bed, not on my desk, no longer in the window, no more waiting to greet me when I come home, nothing.  It is all just sadness and tears at this point.  I feel as though my heart is literally breaking in half.  It is the absolute worst day ever.  How do people move on?  How do you ever smile or laugh again?  How does the sunshine ever look bright again?  I just miss him so much.  I would do anything, give anything to bring him back as a healthy, happy cat again.  I just want my Zeke back.  Nothing will ever replace him; nothing will ever be the same.

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Himit   

My heart breaks for all of you.  In the early days of losing your pet it is incredibly hard.  I will praying for Babs and Felix.  We had to put our Lucky down on October 24,2016,  We were blessed to have him for 16 years.  It is so difficult.  I could not eat for 2 weeks.  And as i write this my eyes are welling up.  It does slowly get better.  But the process is hard.  Grieve anyway you need to.  Maybe creating a memorial to your pet will help.  I have videos of Lucky that even after this much time i still cannot watch without crying.  But the crying is not as gut wrenching as it was before.  We(my self and my wife) can now speak about him and remember him without crying each time.  We still have a way to go but we are better now than we were before. Many have suggested getting another pet.  My wife is not at all ready and i do not believe i am either.  So not really sure what the future holds but i do know that many(as my sister lost her dog in a hit and run accident) feel better sooner by getting another pet right away.  She did two weeks after the incident.  So this is different for everyone.  Let your feelings be your guide and do not let anyone give you a hard time about the way you need to deal with this loss.  I will continue praying for you.

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KMB   

Babs---Maliboo is beautiful. She looks a lot like my kitty. I am so sorry that you had to help her to the rainbow bridge. Just about 11 years ago, we had a dog that had kidney failure. We had to help him on his spirit journey. It is devastating when we lose our fur friends. Please do not feel guilty. Maliboo is grateful to you for ending her suffering. She gave you unconditional love and you gave it back to her in her time of need. Kidney disease is painful, but our fur friends are unable to tell us how they feel. You did right by your best friend.

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I'm so sorry for everyone and their losses... I just had to send my kitty, Mowe, over the rainbow bridge yesterday 9/6/17... She was 11 1/2 years old. I got her when she was a baby, my best friend had rescued a beautiful petite calico cat and she gave birth to my Mowe. I met her about an hour after her birth and instantly knew I had to make her mine. My entire family is allergic to cats, so I begged for her. Every time I went to my friend's house I would carry her everywhere with me. She was gifted to me for my birthday that year. 

She was a feisty thing, and definitely not petite like her momma. She swatted at everyone except me. We were inseparable. I took her everywhere, even camping with us (in a trailer). Not once, but twice, she had accidentally poisoned herself once by eating a mushroom and the other by eating a Lilly. She ate EVERYTHING! Among her favorite things were string cheese and cheeze-it's (just like me). She grew to be overweight and her heaviest at 23lbs and was eventually diagnosed with diabetes. I immediately switched her food and together we went on a weight loss journey. She came down to a good 14-16lbs while I shed 70lbs myself. She came to college with me, traveling over 300 miles in the car one way. We would come home for breaks and even just the weekend. 

Once I graduated, we moved back home until we moved in with my then boyfriend (now husband). They definitely had a love/hate relationship... and it clearly went both ways... I swear she just jumped on him in the middle of the night to scare him senseless... then the next morning I would find them cuddling on the couch under her favorite blanket. She dished out the trouble as much as she could - she figured out that if she pretended to vomit in the morning we would launch out of bed to only find her wanting food. Through all the trouble she had caused, tonight I found myself watching the kitchen counter just waiting and hoping she would jump up on it to help herself to the bag of cheese... that she would be in the window... or lounging on the couch. I can't even control my emotions when I look for her and I find myself calling out her name in agony just hoping she will show up with her little meow.

On August 15th I took her into the vet because the night before she had peed blood. Her being her usual self was unable to be handled, so we were sent home with "loopy" drugs so they could do a physical on her. I dropped her off and got a call a couple hours later asking if they could give her a stronger sedative and I just laughed and said I was surprised they were still alive! Later that day, we came home with antibiotics and a new food to get her diabetes under control. About a week on the meds, I had noticed she wasn't eating like she used to (this cat could consume her meal in less than 5 minutes) and she wasn't finishing it. Slowly she stopped eating... I took her to the vet again when she hadn't hardly eaten for about a day... VERY unusual for her. We switched her antibiotics. That was on a Saturday. Monday, I found myself back at the vets with her still not eating. They suggested we take her to the emergency vets or put her down... out of fear she had fatty liver disease and pancreatitis... we took her in and I could hear her crying in the back. They wanted to do a bunch of testing, but we couldn't afford it and she would have to wait until the morning. But the look in her eyes told me she wanted to fight, just like she always has. We took her home. I brought her back to her normal vet and we came up with a plan... more meds, syringe feeding, insulin injections. I kept logs of her glucose readings, when she pooped, peed, how much water she drank, her behavior, food intake, everything. She was getting better! Then on the 5th day of doing this, she hit a plateau... she wasn't jumping up into her bed... she just lay on the tile near our fireplace... wasn't spying out the window... she was becoming jaundice... I continued to care for her around the clock... then yesterday, I went to run some errands myself and I came home to find that she had vomited and she looked right through me like she was done. I brushed her and washed her paws and called the vet. I took her in her carrier where she just curled up. When we got there, she jumped down off the table, but was weak and may have hurt her paw. She laid in the corner and he vet tried to get her  with a blanket and she growled and hissed at them. When I approached her, she innocently meowed at me... I burst into tears. She passed in my arms. I'm having her privately cremated and getting her ashes back so she can come home with me.

I am so distraught without her. I have never felt this way before about the passing of another animal or a human being. I feel that I have lost a piece of me. I even cried when I gave the last bit of her leftover canned food to the dog today. She was such a special part of my life. I know deep down we both lived lives where we felt so misunderstood, but her and I we understood each other. And for that I am eternally grateful. 

Rest In Peace, Mowe Frances ("Hen", "Hennie", "Hennip")

May 18th, 2006 - September 6th, 2017

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Himit   

MoweFrances---I know how hard this time can be.  What a beautiful kitty.  It is going to be hard for awhile.  There is never a good time for this kind of thing to happen.  It has been almost a year since we lost our orange tabby Lucky(affectionately  referred to as Moo)  My wife still tears up when we speak about him.  I struggled because he was 16 and we found him so he could have been 20 years old.  My brain beat me up.  We lost him due to kidney failure but he had had diabetes for years as well.  Logically i felt i had no right to be sad because he lived a full life with problems.  We did all we could and had an excellent vet facility that was wonderful with him.  Did not matter.  I could not sleep or eat.  We were so utterly depressed.  The heart wants what it wants and these animals provide unconditional love unlike many people we know.  They love us for just being us with no judgments whatsoever.   He used to sleep in the crook of my arm on the couch.  Just writing this is bringing tears to my eyes but i am so thankful that he was such a big part of our family for the time we were allowed to have him.  I would not trade that time for anything.  My wife and i will be praying for you.  It will get better.  Take all the time you need to grieve.  My sister lost her dog in a tragic accident and she got another one one month later.  She said it helped her.  Some on here agree.  My wife and I are still not ready.  So i guess it is different for everyone.  This site helped me because i really felt like such a big baby when this happened and many on here feel the same way about their pet as i did mine.  My heart breaks for you.  It will get better.  And when you feel horrible, try to remember all the wonderful times you had with her. 

Himit- Moo-011.JPG

moo-6-25-06-001.jpg

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KayC   

MoweFrances,

I love the picture of your cat laying like she is...such a vulnerable position for a cat, it shows she trusted you.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how hard it is, they are our family and its very hard to lose the.  You sound like a wonderful mom, you were lucky to have each other...I'm just sorry it ends too soon for any of us.  Diabetes in pets is very hard.

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KayC   

Himit,

What a beautiful and thoughtful post!  You are right, it is different for everyone.  One does not replace another, but sometimes it helps fill some of the void.  I usually give myself time to mourn the one before getting another, but I think we know when it is the right time.  I can't imagine having no one to love, no one to come home to, and since my husband died 12 years ago, my dog and cat are everything to me.  My cat is 21 so I know I won't have her many more years, my dog is also older, it scares me.  Unfortunately it seems to be part of signing on to be their mom, which I wouldn't trade for anything, no matter the price of losing them.

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Himit -

thank you for your kind words. I'm just so glad that others feel the same way about their cats and their passing. Until I got her, I had always considered myself a dog person, but Mowe filled a gap in my heart that I never knew I had. When my husband and I got together, we brought our pets together as well and they were the same age... we still have Sasha a German Shepherd mix who is also 11, and we may only have a few years left with her. This morning I woke up to her searching for Mowe. They were never particularly close as both animals "needed their space" so we always let them be on their own terms when they would come to us. But she was going to all of Mowe's popular spots and sniffing.

I'm hoping time will heal, I still haven't brought myself to clean out her litter boxes. I can't wait to bring her home again.  I'm not sure when I will get another cat... I always thought I wouldn't after Mowe, just because of the special bond we shared. I'm sure within time, Mowe will send me the next cat that I can share another, but different, special bond with.

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KayC -

Yes - she loved to lay like that! It was merely a "you can look, but can't touch" pose! We had an unbelievable connection with each other and I cared and spoiled her so much. She was the queen of queens. I loved that about her. She was very sassy and feisty and everything was on her terms. She particularly only loved chin and head scratches and when she passed in my arms, she was getting her beloved chin scratches for the last time.

This has been so helpful for me to be able to write things out and express my feelings for her. I read what I wrote to my husband and he began to cry as well. I have a hard time speaking my thoughts, so writing is a much better way. He knew she meant a lot to me, but had no idea she was my world. 

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AJWCat   

MoweFrances, what a personality. I am so sorry for your loss, you lost so much more than a cat - you really had a best friend and companion. You will need to give yourself time to grieve because not having them around is a gaping open wound. (I love your "connection" line, I felt I had the same. Our cat would come to bed with me and be there right when I woke up.) We lost him four weeks ago today in a sudden awful way. We are heartbroken. A small consolation, but at least you were there and she passed in your arms. I hope you are doing okay.   

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KayC   
22 hours ago, MoweFrances said:

She was very sassy and feisty and everything was on her terms.

That's how my Kitty is.  Kitty can be quite demanding and grumpy, but she's fine as long as everything is going her way.  :)
I think I would have liked your cat, I like that spirit.  It IS good to express your feelings, it helps to restore some of the power we feel we lost when through no desire of our own, we lost someone we love very much.

Hoping each day brings more peace for you...

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15 hours ago, AJWCat said:

MoweFrances, what a personality. I am so sorry for your loss, you lost so much more than a cat - you really had a best friend and companion. You will need to give yourself time to grieve because not having them around is a gaping open wound. (I love your "connection" line, I felt I had the same. Our cat would come to bed with me and be there right when I woke up.) We lost him four weeks ago today in a sudden awful way. We are heartbroken. A small consolation, but at least you were there and she passed in your arms. I hope you are doing okay.   

AJWCat - I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, I am extremely grateful I was able to be present for her, so many others aren't fortunate to have that experience. I'm slowly making it. Today was the first day that I haven't cried. I've teared up a little, but not a full on cry. I started to make a shutter fly book of all of her pictures that will help me remember all the precious moments we had together. Again, I am so sorry for your sudden loss. 

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13 hours ago, KayC said:

That's how my Kitty is.  Kitty can be quite demanding and grumpy, but she's fine as long as everything is going her way.  :)
I think I would have liked your cat, I like that spirit.  It IS good to express your feelings, it helps to restore some of the power we feel we lost when through no desire of our own, we lost someone we love very much.

Hoping each day brings more peace for you...

I love it! It makes them seem like they are their own little person in a way. Sassy and feisty kitties are the best, in my opinion! 

It has made such a difference finding this forum and reading other forums about others and their losses. Although tragic, it is so healing at the same time. It has brought a small light into my life right now that I need. I don't have anyone particularly close to me that has experienced this type of loss from a beloved pet. 

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KayC   

It does help to know we are not alone and we're not crazy, our feelings are normal for grief.

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