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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
rox411

Death of Cat- can't think straight

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I am so sorry for your loss. I truly feel your pain. Just today, we had to make the decision to put our precious Hannah to sleep. Hannah was born in March of 2004. We adopted Hannah and her sister Lily in July of 2004. That same day, we also adopted Katie, who was 3 years old at the time. From that day on, we were never the same. As we kitty lovers know, all kitty babies have their very own very special personalities. From the moment we brought our girls home, 'Hannah' was Mommy's baby...a beautiful, amazing bond of love that lasted for over 10 1/2 years. Hannah followed me everywhere, she slept with me, on me, followed me into the bathroom, ran to greet me when I got home from work. Literally, never left my side. I cannot express how much I will miss the look of genuine love in Hannah's eyes when she would just sit and stare at me with such love, that unconditional love that our kitty babies show us. After today, my life will not be the same. Hannah was diagnosed earlier this year with Renal Disease. Upon diagnosis, I was absolutely devastated. We began the proper treatments directed by our Vet. Her kidney levels did decrease slightly for a period of time, but this past Sunday, I knew Hannah was struggling...and we feared the worst. We were right to be afraid - her kidneys were failing fast and the toxins were building up in our baby. We took her to the Vet ER Tuesday - they immediately admitted her and began IV fluids. The next morning, we picked her up and transported her to our Vet. Well, that was yesterday morning, Wednesday the 28th. We did hold out hope that Hannah would beat this and we would be able to bring her back home with us...it was not going to happen. I drove over to the Vet earlier today to visit with Hannah and take her favorite flannel shirt she loved to lay on, along with her 2 favorite toys - I thought having them with her and the familiar smells of home would help her. When I arrived, the doctor came out and met me, we then proceeded to a private room. She gave me the devastating news, Hannah's levels had not improved in over 48 hours and the toxins were continuing to build up in her little body. She explained that 'one more day' would not make a difference and it would only prolong Hannah's pain and discomfort. The doctor expressed, with such compassion, it was time. I literally felt like I was going to die, such pain and grief was so overwhelming, I still feel numb and unable to function outside a fog. My husband and brother came immediately, so they could also say good-bye to our beloved Hannah. The Vet staff gave us all the time we wanted with Hannah...it was not enough to prepare for the end. The tears were flowing, words were incoherent as we thanked Hannah for living with us and bringing such JOY and Pure Love to our home over the last 10 years. She took her last breath knowing that she was surrounded by the humans who loved her to the depth of their souls. She was a part of us, she will always be a part of us, forever. I went online to find something that could help me in such a deep state of grief and sadness, such deep heartache and emptiness and I came across this site. You will never know how much all of your stories have helped me tonight - thank you. The tears were flowing as I read each and every story and they continue to flow as I write my story. Thank you all so much for reading my story. I hope that my story can help someone know that they are not alone in their grief. Hannah is everywhere I look, everything I smell around the house. It is gut wrenching to know she is not going to walk in this room and onto my lap at any moment. Hannah, I miss you, I love you, your life and the joy you brought to my life will be a part of me forever. You are with all of the other 'Kitty Angels' now. Rest in Peace my precious Hannah. Forever, your Mommy.

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Dear Serenity Now,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so very sorry for your loss and will pray that each day that passes brings you peace. I know it is hard and you feel your kitty's presence everywhere you turn in your house. I truly feel they are still with us and always will be. I found the poem called "Rainbow Bridge" on one of the websites and it was so beautiful and moving. Please take care and may you have peace.

Forever, Hannah's Mommy.

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Dear Calee,

So sorry to read about your kitty Tigger. Such a loss in our home and our hearts without our kitty babies. If we could just have one more day, one more moment to hug them and thank them for bringing such joy to our lives. Our home is not the same without our little Hannah girl. Love to Tigger and thank you ALL for sharing your stories. My deep condolences to you all.

forever, Hannah's Mommy.

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Stratton2mz - I'm so heartbroken reading your story. I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm in such pain from losing Hannah and I truly feel your pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious 'kitty baby'. He will be with you always and he will always love you for taking such good care of him and for giving him such a beautiful, loving home. Cherish all the beautiful years and memories you shared with your baby.

Please take care. Forever Hannah's Mommy...

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I understand your pain and I'm so sorry for everyone here. Your stories make me cry when I read them. Its just so so hard, they take a bit of us when they leave, a great portion of our daily happiness is gone when they're gone too. Its been 6 days and the pain I get from going home to not find my princess there is terrible and it wont stop hurting. I wish I could have stayed with her just a little bit more.

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Hannah's Mommy, Your story hit home. I walked home from the vet clinic bawling. The veterinarian was not quite as humane as yours. He was rushing, it seemed, at the end of a shift. I did not get more than 5 minutes with my baby. I hear and see him everywhere at home still. The hardest thing to deal with is people who are completely insensitive to your loss. I remember the people who understand when I deal with people who don't.

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Sunny9701,

I am so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. I am sorry that you felt that they were rushing you as you were saying goodbye to your precious kitty. Your kitty angel knows how very much you loved him and that you always will. You are right, so many people just do not have the compassion to truly understand the pain we have and the heartache and emptiness we feel...it is devastating. On this site, we are with people that truly understand and for that I'm thankful. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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To: MissingYouKitty - Your beautiful story about your kitty Claira Belle truly touched my heart. Claira Belle passed away the night before my kitty Hannah. When I found this website that first night, I felt such emptiness and such great loss, and your story helped me more than you know. Claira Belle sounds like she was an amazing kitty and I know how very much you miss her. I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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Hello everyone, it truly sadens me to read the stories of your loss. Tonight, my family called me to tell me my Cat and best friend for 13 years, Bella had sudden blood clots and that she was going to be put down. I don't know what to do, I feel so helpless. I'm in University and I'm stuck here 3 hours away from my kitty while she lives her last moments. My stomach hurts and I feel so empty and all I want to do is go home. My family and I adopted Bella when I was 6 years old, she's been with me through everything, slept by my side for all these years and comforted me when I felt lonely. I used to talk to her about when she died, that I'd be there by her side and that when the time comes, it'll all be okay. I'm not there with her though, and I feel like I've completely let her down. Worst part is, I was supposed to go home this Friday. I wish she could've at least been spared until then. I wish I could've been there for my best friend, but I wasn't. I wish I could've said goodbye to her.

Can someone please help me relieve this pain? Console me or something, I don't know. Everything hurts and I just want to see my kitty one last time.

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Hello everyone, it truly sadens me to read the stories of your loss. Tonight, my family called me to tell me my Cat and best friend for 13 years, Bella had sudden blood clots and that she was going to be put down. I don't know what to do, I feel so helpless. I'm in University and I'm stuck here 3 hours away from my kitty while she lives her last moments. My stomach hurts and I feel so empty and all I want to do is go home. My family and I adopted Bella when I was 6 years old, she's been with me through everything, slept by my side for all these years and comforted me when I felt lonely. I used to talk to her about when she died, that I'd be there by her side and that when the time comes, it'll all be okay. I'm not there with her though, and I feel like I've completely let her down. Worst part is, I was supposed to go home this Friday. I wish she could've at least been spared until then. I wish I could've been there for my best friend, but I wasn't. I wish I could've said goodbye to her.

Can someone please help me relieve this pain? Console me or something, I don't know. Everything hurts and I just want to see my kitty one last time.

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alicoo54   

I feel such empathy with you all.    After reading your stories I can say something I would never believe I could say, maybe I am lucky. 

 

   Just today I lost my lovely Reggie cat who was 19 years old (unfortunately today is also my birthday)

 

As we have been together for so long I can read him like a book( & vice versa), I just knew the end was near. I was lucky he died at home with me, I cuddled him on my lap & stroked him & he slipped peacefully away, I cuddled him for a while & felt some degree of peace myself.  Obviously I am very sad but not devastated.

 

 Reggie had a brother who died 5 years ago at the vets so believe me I know how that feels, I felt very much worse than I do now.  It does get easier I promise & one day you will think back with a smile remembering your beautiful cat.

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Dear Bella Black,

I understand your pain. Just 4 weeks ago I had lost one of my foster kittens. He had to be put down, due to FIP just right after 1 ½ weeks after he had found a forever home. I was devastated and sad with grief (and I am still sad about it).

This morning, just 4 weeks after I lost my foster baby, I found out that my 16 year and 5 months old cat died.  Currently I am away for training, and wasn’t able to return back home. Yesterday my boyfriend had to bring my cat to the vet and this morning I found out that she had passed away. I feel terrible that I could not return home to be with her and felt stuck here. I feel awful  that I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most, and feel sick to my stomach with guilt. On this coming Saturday will be my birthday, but how can I celebrate if two of my babies just past with the last four weeks?!?!?!?!?!?!           Life itself seems not fair to me at all. So many good things happened to me within the past months, but it feels like I had to pay an ultimate high price by losing my little ones, and didn’t even get a chance to say a final goodbye. I was so busy with work and stuff that I totally forgot to give attention to the ones who needed it the most.

In loving memory of my little Kitty Salem

R.I.P. Little Salem, 30 August 1998 till 11 Feb 2015 – I am so deeply sorry I wasn’t more there for you and took you for granted. You are my sweet little angel. Please forgive me for not giving you all the love and attention all the time, because I always seemed too busy with other stuff. I am so sorry. I miss you. Please, please, forgive me. I am deeply sorry for not being there for you. I so hope you forgive me and we see each other again one day.

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oscar27   

One month ago, my wife and I took our beautiful 11 year old boy, Oscar, to the vet because he was lethargic and not eating well.  We thought it was a tooth ache and they vet took blood tests and urinalysis testing and found nothing wrong. Three weeks later we noticed he was losing weight and energy and took him to the vet only to find he had very aggressive Lymphoma that did not have a great prognosis.  We were distraught and the vet said putting Oscar to sleep is the most compassionate thing to do since chemo could make his quality of life poor and might not help/is very expensive.  We made sure that the next few days were filled with love from us and gave him steroids to make him feel a little better.  Today we had to put our little angel to sleep and I still can't wrap my head around what happened in the last week.  He went from being our crazy loveable cat and now he is gone.  I don't know how to deal with this and can't imagine losing this feeling that I have right now.  He was the sweetest and most loving cat I have ever met and did not deserve this fate.  I feel like our house will never feel the same without his personality roaming the halls and don't know what to do.  

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Oscar, I am so sorry for your loss. Your experience sounds exactly like what I am going though right now with my little 6 1/2 year old Einstein. He was just diagnosed yesterday with Lymphoma and I've been told he has about a month to live (he's still in the hospital but has improved with steroids). I have been absolutely devastated for the last 48 hours, and I know that the worst hasn't even happened yet. I can;t think straight at work and keep bouncing back and forth between tears and anger that he's being taken so young. I can't believe that he was running around playing and cuddling with me less then 10 days ago. It feels like forever. It helps to see that there are other people how have also had to live though this and that my waives of grief seem to be quite normal. I'm so relieved to have found that I am not alone in this experience. Thank you.

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Chopin14   

I had to put my 10 year old, orange tabby, Simba, to sleep 10 days ago.  Just a few weeks before he got sick, the end of February, he was fine, running around and playing. Then beginning of this month he seemed a little under the weather, but late 3/6 he started getting really lethargic.  I called the vet the next morning.  Besides the lethargy, he was still eating and using the litter box okay. The vet told me his lungs seemed congested and he was a little dehydrated. He was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease about 5 years ago, FORL. where the gum tissue attacks the teeth, but never had a problem until about 7 months ago where he had a lesion in his gum my vet treated successfully and he was okay, but then in February had another one.  This one was more difficult to get rid of.  The vet said his FORL was probably what was affecting him. She put him on an antibiotic and something for pain and gave him some IV fluids.  After 4 days there was no improvement.  The pain med was really sedating him so the vet had me cut it down.  He was still eating, using the litter box, but still lethargic and sleeping all the time. He wouldn't drink water, so I had to give him extra water.  I talked to the vet Friday and she told me all his blood work came back great and she wanted me to schedule him for a dental procedure to extract some teeth on Tuesday. I told her there was no improvement in his lethargy and in fact he started wobbling when he walked and was kind of crouched down.  She felt all his problems were related to his gums and the dental would improve his condition.  I was elated.  I had been so worried about him and disappointed he hadn't improved.  This wasn't like him, he was a very active cat, always running around, following me everywhere. He had never been this ill before. Then the next day, Saturday, he took a turn for the worse. He started having more trouble walking, was more off balance.  I watched in horror when he used the litter box and seemed to be having trouble urinating and defecating and then he tripped and fell on his way out, and then attempted to continue to walk across the hall and lost his balance and fell forward, flipping over.  After that I carried him to the litter box and helped him in and out.  It scared me.  The following day, Sunday, he could no longer walk.  I was devastating watching him trying to get up and walk get up and walk and end up rolling over to the side. I had to carry him around, hold him up to eat and hold him up in the litter box or he would just fall over on his side. Sunday for the first time he refused to eat at all.  That weekend was like a nightmare, I could barely eat and was having trouble sleeping. Monday morning he stopped urinating. I spent as much time with him as I could that weekend and Monday morning, and I was glad later that I did.  He was always such an affectionate, loving cat. He loved being near me and was always on my lap or near me. He greeted me at the door and followed me almost everywhere. I held him as much as I could Saturday and Sunday night.  I called the vet first thing Monday morning and she asked me to bring him in.  She did an x-ray on him and his bladder was distended, his kidney was a little enlarged and sticking out on the side, but it may have been due to the bladder.  The most awful thing was there was a density in one lobe of his lung, that looked huge, like filled up half of the lobe!!  My vet had also mentioned the lymph nodes in his neck seemed enlarged. They sent me to a vet specialist right away and they told me they suspected he had either a cancer primary in his neck that spread to his lungs or vice versa, and gave me all options to treat it, but which would probably prolong his life for a few months and he would suffer terribly and regardless would never walk again. Vet said he knew almost 100% that was it, having seen this in other cats.  I was in shock and felt like this was a dream I was going to wake up from. I decided it would be best for my Simba to be put to sleep. I spent alone time with him before the vet came in and gave him the injection and he was gone in less than a minute, then I spent a long time just holding him. I can't understand how he could have been so happy and healthy just a few weeks ago, been eating and practically normal with perfect blood work. It scare me he might have been poisoned and maybe the tumor was an incidental finding. I still can't believe he's gone. I loved him so much. He loved his life so much, he really clung on to his life in the end and it was so sad. I had him cremated and I got the ashes a few days ago, it was so hard going back there.  I have another cat 9 years old, Sheba. I just want to take care of her the best I can. They weren't close, but I still think she misses him, she looks around for him sometime.  I just can't stop thinking about him and wishing he was here and not believing it, I thought he had at least another 5-6 years.

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Blkhrt12   

Hi Erin, I feel your pain as I too am struggling with the what ifs. I also have been hating life struggling with my decision. I can give you some words of comfort, from reading your post you did what was best for Henry. We as humans see the pain they are in. They rely on us to take care of them. I could no longer watch my Buffy in pain day after day. We have to think of the quality of life. To me more procedures were not an option, my girl suffered enough as I believe your Henry did. Please take it day by day, I keep reliving last Friday over and over but every day it gets a bit easier. It will take time. Your Henry is now watching over you, sitting on your shoulder. He is your angel. My best regards to you. Stacey

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I know this is an old thread, but sometimes it just feels good to be in a space with people who all are hurting the exact same way. I just read through this whole thread, and it really helps to read stories from others who are all feeling the same emotions.

 

Yesterday my precious 18 year old cat was euthanized. He hadn't been 'well' for almost a year, but he wasn't showing any signs of obvious distress. He had no litterbox issues, still ate and drank regularly, would still play and purr, and wanted to be with us. We knew it could come at any time due to his advanced age, but of course you're never ready.

 

Yesterday he had what must have been a stroke. After a good morning when he seemed to be doing fine, he suddenly started howling and panting, and was unable to walk.

 

We were so blessed to be in an area that offered at home mobile vet services, and a vet came to the house so he didn't have to have his last moments on earth being at the one place he absolutely hated - the vets office. He was able to go at home peacefully, on the couch he loved, surrounded by the people who loved him the most. She came after only two hours of being called, so thankfully his moments of fear and confusion were kept to a minimum.

 

Still I'm beyond devistated. I work from home but right now can't think straight to work. It's 11:30 in the morning and I'm stlll in my pj's and haven't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon. This morning, taking down his 'geriatric cat tree' that I had built for him so that he could still get up into the windows and be up high without a big strain on his joints was a horror show, and I started crying so hard I thought I'd pass out.

 

I just want him back so bad. I love him so much. For someone who spent most of his life sleeping 20 hours a day, his absense is a roaring void.

 

All my best to Blkhrt12, Chopin14, Einstein's Mommy, oscar27, SerenityNow, alicoo54, BellaBlack, Hannah's Mommy, and everyone else who has posted in this thread, or who has just come across it from a google search. The loss of a cat feels almost unbearable, but it's because we love them so very very much. That love never dies.

 

 

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Bemawr   

Everyones stories have been so touching. I am sad i search for a form like this today but today I lost my best buddy my 3 ½ year old cat Steven.

 

I was on the phone at around 10:30 AM today when i heard him let our a loud yelp which ih ad never heard before, i turned around look at him and he was just laying on the ground watching me work as usual. After my call wrapped up i walked over and picked him up, he was very limp but his eyes were still open and the hair on his tail was standing straight up and it honest didn't hit me that he had gone. After a min or so i walked him in front of his water bowl and when i put him down i realized he wasn't breathing, so i paniced and check his throat and he had not choked on anything. 

 

When i brought him to the vet he had been gone for about 15 mins and was cold. Steven had a heart murmer when he was a kitten and the vet always said there was a possiblebty that he could suddenly pass away. It was his heart that stopped on him today.

 

It was so hard to not cry as i said goodbye to my best buddy. I had never owned a cat before but I did live alone for 3 years prior to getting him so him and i spent a lot of time together over the last 3.5 years and like you all with your beloved cats really came to love and depend on that little guy (he was very large actually)

 

Obviously I am kicking myself what if i had gotten off the phone right away? Now the logic in my knows that i couldn't have gotten his heart beating again. I am glad i am the last person he saw i just hope he wasn't too scared after i looked away and he knew that i loved him so much.

 

 

I have actually worked from home a lot the past month so we had gotten to spend even more time together which has been nice. 

 

So far the only silver lining is that tomorrow  i leave for a week of vacation. I had someone scheduled to check on him but if they had come to my house to him gone that would have been horrible so i am glad he got to spend his last few minutes within a few feet of me. Also hopefully being on vacation helps distract me a bit.

 

I know I will get to a point where I only remember all the good stuff because as a 28 year old male i am not use to sobbing for hours. I just can't get the memory of his limp body out of my hands and the moment it him me that he had passed. 

 

 

Luckily I took over 500 pictures of his over the last 3.5 years because he was such a handsome guy. 

 

 

I am sorry to all of you who have felt this type of pain and angst  before and I hope all of our cats are together somewhere, playing, napping, eating wet food and watching over us.

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Tomas   

Today I had to put down my little Charlie. He was about 14.. Kidneys went into complete failure, but it seemed to happen so rapidly. He had an underlying Kidney issue, but not that bad. We had guests in the house for 5 days. When this happens, or when there are strangers in our house,  he usually retreats to the woods. I suspect that since he hadn't returned for five days, he became dehydrated, which initiated Kidney shutdown. In the past when he would disappear for a few days, it wasn't a problem, but we suspected his kidneys were gettiing worse. I am now cursing my decision to let people stay here. Over the past several months Charlie never left the house, and would drink water and pee profusely. His retreat this time, I believe, put him over the edge. What could I do, they were friends from far away.  I feel so guilty and hurt - a pain exploding right in the center of my chest.

 

Charlie was a stray, all those years ago. Woud never let anyone touch him without severe hyperventiation. I suspect he had been abused. He had many mental issues. Paranoia, fear, etc. I worked with him for years, until he had become the most affectionate cat. Would wait all day for me to come home so he could sit on my lap. Would cry in the middle of the night  for me to come downstairs to pet him. I regret having gotten mad at him at times, he wold keep me awake all night. He wouod climb in my arm and knead in his claws. I would toss him off because it hurt. I feel so much guilt. So much sadness. I was never meanor cruel, but ythere were times where I didn't have the time to give him all the attention he needed.

I can't sleep, and welling up tears continuously. Didn't expect the quick death, nor did I expect the depth of my love and grief. I have (had) five cats. He was always cat number 5. Little did I realize that he  had gradually become cat  #1.

All that remains is acceptance. So hard.

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I never ever thought that I would be posting this...but here I am, joining many of you in grieving the loss of a friend.

This morning I had my 15 year old friend and house cat Sammy put to sleep.

A month ago he hurt his claw being.. well ...sammy but is caused an avalanche of illhealth leading onto severe pancreatitis.

I did everything I was asked...we tried injections, tablets, blood tests, xrays and laterally an iv drip as he was so dehydrated.He was incredibly anxious throughout as he'd never been so ill that the vets kept him in.

He was a cat that loved his food, that knew when you were down, that just purred because you were near... I always joked that he was the man in my life as he'd seen me through so many breakups in life.

The last few days he's been struggling more. When he first returned from the vets two weeks ago he wouldn't eat...I managed to resolve that...but from day to day it would change...one minute starving the next uninterested. And always always now lethargic.

This morning I knew I must take him to the vets but... I wasn't expecting the end that I got. We discussed yet more iv drips..then sammy lay down on the table (I'm sure you'll all agree a rare event for a cat to do that at a vets)

I just ...knew I couldn't let him go through this again. I love him too much to watch him suffer for me.

I stayed for him to be sedated....but not the final act. Once I knew he was asleep, I said goodbye.

I know I did right by him...but I'm now overwhelmed with grief and guilt now he's gone! Why does your mind play these cruel tricks???? Had he went back on the iv drip ...would I be doing that for him? Or me?

Yesterday, he was unusually clingy...I think yesterday he knew he was very ill...I think he knew he had to leave.

I know all these things...yet I sit here in my home looking at all the places Sam loved to sit and thinking "I can never hoover again or ill be taking away his hairs"

I'm broken with grief. I know it will pass...but I just wish I could hold him once more...hear that purr and feel free...just once more

post-403172-0-40706700-1435745766_thumb.

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atyyx   

I know this is an old thread, but sometimes it just feels good to be in a space with people who all are hurting the exact same way. I just read through this whole thread, and it really helps to read stories from others who are all feeling the same emotions.

Yesterday my precious 18 year old cat was euthanized. He hadn't been 'well' for almost a year, but he wasn't showing any signs of obvious distress. He had no litterbox issues, still ate and drank regularly, would still play and purr, and wanted to be with us. We knew it could come at any time due to his advanced age, but of course you're never ready.

Yesterday he had what must have been a stroke. After a good morning when he seemed to be doing fine, he suddenly started howling and panting, and was unable to walk.

We were so blessed to be in an area that offered at home mobile vet services, and a vet came to the house so he didn't have to have his last moments on earth being at the one place he absolutely hated - the vets office. He was able to go at home peacefully, on the couch he loved, surrounded by the people who loved him the most. She came after only two hours of being called, so thankfully his moments of fear and confusion were kept to a minimum.

Still I'm beyond devistated. I work from home but right now can't think straight to work. It's 11:30 in the morning and I'm stlll in my pj's and haven't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon. This morning, taking down his 'geriatric cat tree' that I had built for him so that he could still get up into the windows and be up high without a big strain on his joints was a horror show, and I started crying so hard I thought I'd pass out.

I just want him back so bad. I love him so much. For someone who spent most of his life sleeping 20 hours a day, his absense is a roaring void.

All my best to Blkhrt12, Chopin14, Einstein's Mommy, oscar27, SerenityNow, alicoo54, BellaBlack, Hannah's Mommy, and everyone else who has posted in this thread, or who has just come across it from a google search. The loss of a cat feels almost unbearable, but it's because we love them so very very much. That love never dies.

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atyyx   

I know this is an old thread, but sometimes it just feels good to be in a space with people who all are hurting the exact same way. I just read through this whole thread, and it really helps to read stories from others who are all feeling the same emotions.

Yesterday my precious 18 year old cat was euthanized. He hadn't been 'well' for almost a year, but he wasn't showing any signs of obvious distress. He had no litterbox issues, still ate and drank regularly, would still play and purr, and wanted to be with us. We knew it could come at any time due to his advanced age, but of course you're never ready.

Yesterday he had what must have been a stroke. After a good morning when he seemed to be doing fine, he suddenly started howling and panting, and was unable to walk.

We were so blessed to be in an area that offered at home mobile vet services, and a vet came to the house so he didn't have to have his last moments on earth being at the one place he absolutely hated - the vets office. He was able to go at home peacefully, on the couch he loved, surrounded by the people who loved him the most. She came after only two hours of being called, so thankfully his moments of fear and confusion were kept to a minimum.

Still I'm beyond devistated. I work from home but right now can't think straight to work. It's 11:30 in the morning and I'm stlll in my pj's and haven't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon. This morning, taking down his 'geriatric cat tree' that I had built for him so that he could still get up into the windows and be up high without a big strain on his joints was a horror show, and I started crying so hard I thought I'd pass out.

I just want him back so bad. I love him so much. For someone who spent most of his life sleeping 20 hours a day, his absense is a roaring void.

All my best to Blkhrt12, Chopin14, Einstein's Mommy, oscar27, SerenityNow, alicoo54, BellaBlack, Hannah's Mommy, and everyone else who has posted in this thread, or who has just come across it from a google search. The loss of a cat feels almost unbearable, but it's because we love them so very very much. That love never dies.

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atyyx   

I know this is an old thread, but sometimes it just feels good to be in a space with people who all are hurting the exact same way. I just read through this whole thread, and it really helps to read stories from others who are all feeling the same emotions.

Yesterday my precious 18 year old cat was euthanized. He hadn't been 'well' for almost a year, but he wasn't showing any signs of obvious distress. He had no litterbox issues, still ate and drank regularly, would still play and purr, and wanted to be with us. We knew it could come at any time due to his advanced age, but of course you're never ready.

Yesterday he had what must have been a stroke. After a good morning when he seemed to be doing fine, he suddenly started howling and panting, and was unable to walk.

We were so blessed to be in an area that offered at home mobile vet services, and a vet came to the house so he didn't have to have his last moments on earth being at the one place he absolutely hated - the vets office. He was able to go at home peacefully, on the couch he loved, surrounded by the people who loved him the most. She came after only two hours of being called, so thankfully his moments of fear and confusion were kept to a minimum.

Still I'm beyond devistated. I work from home but right now can't think straight to work. It's 11:30 in the morning and I'm stlll in my pj's and haven't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon. This morning, taking down his 'geriatric cat tree' that I had built for him so that he could still get up into the windows and be up high without a big strain on his joints was a horror show, and I started crying so hard I thought I'd pass out.

I just want him back so bad. I love him so much. For someone who spent most of his life sleeping 20 hours a day, his absense is a roaring void.

All my best to Blkhrt12, Chopin14, Einstein's Mommy, oscar27, SerenityNow, alicoo54, BellaBlack, Hannah's Mommy, and everyone else who has posted in this thread, or who has just come across it from a google search. The loss of a cat feels almost unbearable, but it's because we love them so very very much. That love never dies.

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atyyx   

Its been 4 days now since my 18 year old Arnie was put to sleep..I feel like my heart has been torn in half.. i keep welling up at the thought of him taking his last breath..he had been suffering with ill health since November but a few days ago his back legs just wouldnt hold him up anymore and he was struggling to walk. He was also now completely blind and deaf together with a suspected stroke. I knew i was being selfish trying to just keep him alive for my benefit so i decided to let him go. I have the deepest sympathies with all of you and its so comforting to know others out there feeling my pain. I still feel guilty as though he would have been dissapointed and let down that i gave the vet the permission to put him to sleep.. i dont know when this pain will stop..???i miss seeing his face looking down at me from the top of the stairs when i come home...he had been with me almost half my life how will i ever recover???

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Julia B   

I lost my cat 2 days ago. He was in good health until just recently and I really expected him to live much longer, at least for another 3 years. He was only 13.5 y.o. I got him when he was 2.5 from people who breed Birman cats professionally. He was a perfect companion for me -always on my lap or nearby, keeping me company while I was working from home. Everthing in the house reminds me about him. When I woke up today, my eyes automatically searched for him on the floor; I even have something like hullucinations: I saw my children's toy on the floor and for a moment I thought it was my Bucci. No matter what I do, my thoughts keep coming back to him. When will this stop? It is too painful.

 

My husband tried to console me saying that Bucci had a very comfortable life and was very much loved.  Then I remembered what his breeders told me: we breed cats for health and personality; If loved, they will be very devoted to their owners. This is so true. It then it struck me that Bucci did not just live an enjoyable life, his life was purposeful and meaningful, unlike the life of many human beings who don't know what exactly they live for. My cat served my emotional needs while I served his and took care of him. It is a consolation, but this thought also makes me miss him even more.

 

My husband suggested getting another Birman in a while. There is a high chance that the new cat will be just as affectionate, but I am not sure I want that. I still think he was special. There will not be another Bucci.

 If someone had gone through this stage and got another cat, what was it like? Did you feel guilty for trying to replace your first cat?

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