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rox411

Death of Cat- can't think straight

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7 years ago I found a kitten on the side of the road and took him home and bottle fed him for a few weeks and nursed him back to health, that black dirty kitten turned mostly white, last tuesday I applied Seargent's Silver tick and flea spray for cats on him and Cubby was fine till the next morning, needless to say I washed him off and used lots of baby shampoo on him to rid him of the spray,even after my attemps to save him and get him to eat or drink he still threw up foam and bile and died a few hours later, I found 586 complaints on said product with 98% of them resulting in the cats deaths and I feel so guilty for useing that spray on him, I stayed with him till the end and when he took his last breath I screamed my pain of his loss, I can't stop thinking about cubby, I see him in my mind and if I hear a cat on tv that makes a similar meow like the one when he was dying I lose it and break down and cry. I'm so lonely without him, he was like a son to me, I raised him as my own and he followed me everywhere and stayed away from other people. I can't find it in my heart to find another cat to give my heart to, I just can't be destroyed over another loss. Cubby has the nicest grave though, my fiancee and our 6 year old daughter surrounded it with stones and in the center is seashells our daughter collected from the ocean just for his grave and of course lovely flowers. Everytime I think on him I cry and being pregnant with baby number two is not helping, I know I should focus on that he isn't suffering anymore and is in a better place but I miss him so much, my heart is shattered, he was more than a mere cat and pet, he was adored and family and I will always love him. Shame on Seargents for not taking that poison off the shelves in the store knowing very well it causes animal poisoning yet they want the money so its ok for them.

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I'm so thankful to find this site. Today I had to say goodbye to the best cat I have ever known. I'm sure those of you in this site know the pain I'm experiencing. I'm just devastated. My "pecky" had a great life, I just miss him.

I feel your pain. A vet is coming to our house in 3 days to send Cort to a better place. When does the crying stop? I am so sad. She was my best friend. I feel so bad for letting her get to this point. I love you Cort.

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My beautiful Son, the Prince of Kitties Blake died in my arms three weeks ago tonight. He was my angel, the love of my life and we loved each other so much that I truly must say that I've never loved a human or other pet as much as I love my boy. Blake was gorgeous. He was a champion Maine Coon with sea foam green eyes. His fur was as soft as down but more than his obvious beauty was the beauty of his soul. He was my gentle giant. My entire life revolved around my "Son" for 14 years. He was 16 when he passed, (he was a show cat for a breeder before I got him away from all of that) and they tell me that is an old age for a Maine Coon but I cannot let him go. My baby got a fibrosarcoma on his hard palate and I just don't know how they missed it! He had his teeth cleaned one month prior to my discovering it and he had been to the Dr. for another small issue two weeks before!! Why didn't "we" catch it in time?? He was everything to me. I took him to U.C. Davis and they told me it was inoperable. I researched 13 hours a day on the internet for a week before deciding and finding an alternative cancer therapy "Neoplasene"- which worked initially. The tumor fell off. He was improving and then stopped eating again. They had him on a feeding tube for three months and I "fed" him five times a day for there months and never once left his side. We did another round of Neoplasene on him and he just didn't make it... thank God he died in my arms. I just can't face the fact that he is not here with Mommy. I spent all of my saving, $9,000 trying to keep my love alive. I would do it all again for just one minute with my angel boy. Blake, Mommy misses you so much. I just don't feel like going on. I just don't feel like I will ever be happy again.... I miss him so much. I dream of him and tragedy at night. I have insomnia. I drink too much alcohol now to deal with all of this. God, why was my baby, the one I love most in the world taken from his Mother?? Boy, Mommy loves you so....

I feel your pain. I am 3 days away from putting my 12 yr old Cort down. I hope she makes it till then. I am a 56 yr old male and. And can not stop crying. I already took the day off work. She is the best friend I have ever had. I too drink too much to deal with this. I know it's not the way to deal. I will miss him so much. Will the sadness go away?

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liz5love   

on wednesday 15th October 2014  i lost my best friend sydney the most unique cat to me he followed me everywhere if he was asleep if i got up he followed i could not even go to the toilet without him following such a bond he  talked all the time and i should have called him mr shut up . he was run over right outside my quiet cul du sac road with his sister right beside him the person was a neigbour in the next street taking a short cut and someone saw her but she  did not stop he died in my arms aged just 4 . the grief i feel is unbearable such a void and i have his sister constanly looking for him thank you for this forum i can write this x 

 

 

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I am so sorry that you lost your cat Sydney in such a tragic way.  We lost our much loved Snuffles when a neighbors dog killed him six year ago. I always think of him as he was such a loving cat.  Losing a pet is awful no matter what the circumstances are.  Animals love you unconditionally and it is an honor to share our,lives with a pet.  We have two boys Charlie our ginger lad and Harry our big tabby boy and we love them dearly but they were never replacements for Snuffles they are loved in their own right as it should be.  You still have so much love to give to animals grieve for poor Sydney but always remember not to feel ashamed that you do. 

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Hello all, I new here. I've been on the other forum for loss of a partner. My wife passed on 8.27.2012. But my problem is her cat. He always slept with her thur her 5 years of illnesses. When I was at work he kept her company and would comfort her. Now my wife gone, and he's lost his partner too. He's not eating and getting really thin. He's AWAYS used the litter box. Now I smell pee in the basement. He can barely meow. I know he's getting weak. I don't know what to do.He's old and I know he'll be gone also. I'm still going thru the guilt of turning the ventilor off for my wife who had perment brain damage. How can I take her cat and have him put down so soon after my wife passed. I'll feel like it my fault my wife passed and then I go and kill her cat. I can't go thur this. I feel like she would look donw on me and be mad. Alone and confused...........

Did anyone respond to you on this, lawnranger? Sometimes, unfortunately, cats do experience such grief that they make themselves terribly ill and there's no choice. I sincerely hope that your partner's cat improved but if he didn't, I'm sure you did all that you could. My thoughts are with you.

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"Can't think straight" is so appropriate to all of us i will believe. Had to put my dear Sarah to sleep on Oct 30, 2014 and I just looked at calendar and said to myself: "What happened to November?" I am hurt so badly to the depth and breadth of my heart and soul.  The story of my love Sarah and also of her sister,

Sasha. The sisters were brought to me by an angel and her friend in Oct of 2010. I dont' drive and they came 20 miles from Freehold NJ , I am in Beachwood, NJ.  She had found them together outside as

very young kittens and brought them to vet, had them spayed and then fostered them until an adoption.

I somehow got put in contact with her and her and a friend brought them  in to me and when we let them

out of their carriers they SPLIT! and they hid .. didn't see them during day for around 10 days. I could

hear them running and sliding on wood floors at 3AM and I saw them eating out the same dish .. Sarah

was the gentler one and she was first one to approach me.  Sasha was the wild child and I ended up losing her to the great outdoors..(this is a sad story too but didn't grieve for Sasha till just after I lost Sarah).. When I took her to hospital for that last horrible day, when I opened the carrier she just lay there on her left side with her little head against the towel.  You all know how healthy cats can't wait

to come out of the carriers!  The Doctor told me there was no hope so I agreed to put her to sleep.

The techs came and took her out and when they brought her back she had this purple cloth cuff on her

right leg ... it had this little red heart on it and two plastic things hanging off it, when they  put her on the

the cold metal table and I say this cuff , I knew it meant I would never see her in this life again.. and 

I BROKE down!!  can't write anymore.. God Bless you all. Hope this is coherent as I am not able to proof read. am attaching photo of them when they were 7 months old in Nov 2010 Sarah is in front, Sasha in rear... look at the expressions and you will see which one was the sweet one, and which one the wild child!

 

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I'm not quite sure how I found this site but having lost my beloved cat, Monty, yesterday I googled 'Grief from losing a Cat' and this site just appeared on my screen. And the messages on the site have helped a little so maybe my experience will similarly help someone somewhere. Monty was nearly 12 years old and he and his brother has been with us since birth. My wife and I have a large garden in a very safe area so it was totally out of the blue when 3 days ago we received a phone call from our local vet saying Monty had been hit by a car and a kind passerby had brought him in. Monty was in a pretty bad way but the vet hoped he could pull through so we said do whatever can be done. But the news over the next 36 hrs was not good. It's too painful to relate all his injuries but with the recommendation of the vet we had to accept it was kinder to put Monty to sleep. Yesterday Monty died in my arms and I buried him in our garden in a sunny spot lying on his favorite cushion. And I feel so guilty and I've never felt such grief or cried so much. I haven't slept much over the last 3 days and have to guard against turning to alcohol to dull the pain. I know rationally that there was nothing I could have done to prevent the accident but emotionally as a man used to taking responsibility for the family's welfare I still feel such guilt. I can't help but feel there must have been something I could have done to prevent the accident; I find myself continually saying to Monty that I'm sorry I didn't help; I feel guilty that I'm upsetting my wife by showing my distress which I can't disguise; and I feel guilty that I might still be subdued when we spend Christmas in 4 days with my son and my grandchildren thereby spoiling their enjoyment. But what can I do except focus on the good life Monty had for 12 years and the fond memories that we have of our time together. I know I have to find a way through this pain and this site has shown me that others have had similar issues and this helps a little. Right now it is hard and raw but I have to assume the time is the great healer. If you are reading this after suffering a similar loss I know how you must feel and you have my most sincere sympathies.

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shazoak   

I lost my bailey 2 days ago due to heart failure.

He was 15 when he passed.

My partner and I awoke to noises I have never heard a cat make.

Shortness of breath,saliva at the mouth and within ten minutes the loss of his back legs and bowel control.

I phoned the emergency vet ,and told them I was bringing him in.

I went into the garage to get his carrier,on return the poor thing was trying to get down the stairs using only his front legs.

My heart was broken when I picked him up ,kissed him on the head and placed him in his carrier.

my partner and I then rushed him to the vet, who examined him.

I was ushered into a side room to be told the obvious bad news.

I pleaded for the vet to put my bailey to sleep at once.

He was in a lot of pain and I thank god we were there at the time.

Had we have been at work his suffering could have gone on for hours.

im a 52 year old man ,and I feel better for finding this forum and sharing my grief.

I have cried for 2 days now, why?.

why would a grown man cry over a cat when:-

He always wakes me up an hour before I have to.

he cries to go out ,when I open doors he just sat there looking out.

he cried for food he didn't want ,when served.

every time on the computer he would stand right in front of me demanding fuss.

The answer is , I now realise he was my best friend and I miss him loads.

My heart goes out to all of you sharing your loss,and I feel better now sharing my experience with fellow cat lovers

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Sonya   

I'm not quite sure how I found this site but having lost my beloved cat, Monty, yesterday I googled 'Grief from losing a Cat' and this site just appeared on my screen. And the messages on the site have helped a little so maybe my experience will similarly help someone somewhere. Monty was nearly 12 years old and he and his brother has been with us since birth. My wife and I have a large garden in a very safe area so it was totally out of the blue when 3 days ago we received a phone call from our local vet saying Monty had been hit by a car and a kind passerby had brought him in. Monty was in a pretty bad way but the vet hoped he could pull through so we said do whatever can be done. But the news over the next 36 hrs was not good. It's too painful to relate all his injuries but with the recommendation of the vet we had to accept it was kinder to put Monty to sleep. Yesterday Monty died in my arms and I buried him in our garden in a sunny spot lying on his favorite cushion. And I feel so guilty and I've never felt such grief or cried so much. I haven't slept much over the last 3 days and have to guard against turning to alcohol to dull the pain. I know rationally that there was nothing I could have done to prevent the accident but emotionally as a man used to taking responsibility for the family's welfare I still feel such guilt. I can't help but feel there must have been something I could have done to prevent the accident; I find myself continually saying to Monty that I'm sorry I didn't help; I feel guilty that I'm upsetting my wife by showing my distress which I can't disguise; and I feel guilty that I might still be subdued when we spend Christmas in 4 days with my son and my grandchildren thereby spoiling their enjoyment. But what can I do except focus on the good life Monty had for 12 years and the fond memories that we have of our time together. I know I have to find a way through this pain and this site has shown me that others have had similar issues and this helps a little. Right now it is hard and raw but I have to assume the time is the great healer. If you are reading this after suffering a similar loss I know how you must feel and you have my most sincere sympathies.

Hello there,

 

My name is Sonya. I read your post and my heart ached for you. I am so sorry for your loss. You lost your cat one day before I lost my 14 year old tabby. I googled cat grief websites when I got home, looking for some comfort, after experiencing more guilt and pain than I ever thought I would. Our cat was a family pet, she spent time with myself, my best friend/housemate and his son. She started showing symptoms of illness about a week ago but we thought it was non-life threatening stuff like arthritis, which is what her vet had suspected when we took her in. Fast forward a week, and she was looking right through me when I'd speak to her, lethargic, and was presenting with wobbly legs when she'd walk. It was *so* scary and weird to see my once vivacious and determined cat who would go barreling past me just a week before, to this frail, wobbly dear soul. I took her to the emergency vet right away and they told me that she was doing horribly and that her prognosis was very poor. So, we brought her back home for one last afternoon with us, we said our goodbyes, and took her back that night. I didn't think I'd survive through it. I sat beside her and petted her, telling her nice things, and that she was loved and appreciated, until after she took her last breath. My family was proud of me and said they were glad that I was there for her. But, I still wish I could have done so much more. 

 

Now just about everything is reminding me of her. The guilt I'm feeling is horrible. Thinking of all I could have done if I'd only known she was ill earlier. But, she wasn't showing us any symptoms until so shortly before she passed away. 

 

I didn't realize that a cat would touch my heart in such a tragically beautiful way. Being out here and reading your post first after I got home from the vet, showed me that I'm not alone and that I'm not the only one that's going through the emotional (and likely physical) pits right now.

 

I'm so sorry for what you are going through and if you'd like to connect, feel free to reply.

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My maxwell of 12 years I had to put to sleep 12-27-2014. I am devastated I have 2 other cats but maxwell was my baby my first cat . Couple days before Christmas he seemed like he was having problems breathing I took him to the vet expecting him to have an infection or cold I was blindsided that he would not be back home after that day. The vet checked him and did an X-ray he was breathing with his mouth open sounded terrible . X-ray showed he was only using a third of his lungs and had fluid build up . I made the decision to have them drain the fluid in hope he would get better and better understanding what was going on. After the fluid drain he did not get any better and was worse had to stay on oxygen he was not stable enough to go home and seemed in a lot of pain not moving . I made the decision to have him put to sleep he was worse than before and having a harder time breathing. I petting his head told him I loved him and would forever miss him . He flicked his tail for a second but would not move. After I felt complete like I played God and felt that I would be punished for what I did took a life. I am a wreck I keep thinking he will be sleeping in his spot or I'll see him laying somewhere . My one other cat who would always hid and not what to be around people is now always wanting affection all day and also coming out greeting people . Some people think I am crazy for being so emotion over my cat

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Elisa921   

We lost our Moses two days ago.

Moses found his way to our home in January 2009. We could tell he was a house cat that someone left behind. He was wounded, crying and hungry. It broke my heart! We intended to feed him and get him to a shelter but my boyfriend suggested he stay. We took him to the vet who told us he was a little over 1 year of age. We named him Moses and he had been with us since. He was very loving. He loved to laying by the heater and sneak his way into the tv cabinet, still don't know how he fit in there???

A little after 5 am I could hear him crying from my bedroom and told my boyfriend to check on him. My boyfriend came to get me and said there was something seriously wrong. When we went down stairs we found him on the floor dragging himself and crying. While my boyfriend was preparing to get him to the animal hospital, I stayed with him but was afraid to touch him because he seemed to be in a lot of pain. He died within 20 minutes of us finding him. I can't stop crying. I miss him so much. He was taken from us so quickly without warning and in such a painful way. We buried him in our backyard. we believe it was heart failure. Moses will be missed. We're lucky to have found him because he had so much love to give. We loved him so much and are devastated. I lost my father 4 years ago and my dad loved Moses. This is just another loss we'll learn to live with.

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Just last night I lost my Claira Belle. She was only 6 years old. I got her when I was going into 1st grade, she was my first pet. I am currently shaking and crying. Claira was a beautiful black cat,her fur looked brown in the sunlight. For the past 2 months she had been breathing heavy. In the beginning, I told my mom we should take her to the vet, but my mother said maybe she had a little cold. She seemed perfectly fine, she ate her food. My mom hesitated to take her to the vet, Claira did not like the car. She would drool, and lose control of bodily functions. My parents and I, took her to the vet thinking maybe she had something little and well, fixable. As soon as we told the vet what happen, she took her heartbeat. The vet said she couldn't hear her heart beat. My dad told me to go walk around PetSmart, I was tearing up as I was looking at the cats. My dad came and found me and said "this is Claira's last night, let's go get your brother". I started bawling. We got my brother and came into Claira's room. The vet showed me the x-rays. She explained that Claira's heart may have failed causing her lungs to be filled with liquid and her stomach was full of air. I was so confused, she had been pushing through it for months and she didn't even show pain. The vet explained how they hide their pain. My mom and I decided to stay while they put her down. We got to hold her, and take pictures. She didn't even know what was happening, she just meowed just like she always does. She went down peacefully.

She loved Christmas trees, I'm so glad she got to have one last Christmas. It was so selfish of us to keep her in all the suffering, but we didn't know she was dying. All of the time she was breathing heavy she was just drowning in her own pain. The vet said if we brought her early nothing would have changed. I just can't grasp that she's gone. I saw her stop breathing, But when my mom asked me if I wanted her food bowl, I knew it was real. I still think she's coming back, but I know she isn't. I never imagined at 6 years old, adopting a cat and saying she's going to die when I'm 13. I always thought she would be around until I was an adult. I pictured myself going of to college saying goodbye to my skinny black cat. She was my first pet, my dad is allergic to cats. I begged for her. During school nights I read in bed she always slept with me and purred. Now I won't have a cuddle buddy. In the beginning of her rough breathing in mid November I was scared. At night I would cry to my mom "Claira isn't breathing right she's going to die" . My mom would say "She is going to die, but not anytime soon". Every night I would think about losing her. Now that it actually happened, I realize I was right all along. I should have brought her sooner. She was dying and I didn't even know it. She was my best friend, my first pet, and the sweetest cat I'll ever meet. I can't picture life without her meowing waking us up in the mornings because she wanted her wet food. I can't stop crying and always play a montage in my head of me adopting her until I saw her lying peacefully. She was my best friend

R.I.P Claira

4.25.08 - 1.4.15

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I am glad that I found this site. It has been 1 month since I lost my cat/ my baby. I found him in our kitchen in the morning having what I realized was a seizure. I rushed him to an emergency animal clinic.He had fluid in his lungs, a compromised spine, due to his diabetes, kidney failure, compromised brain function , a distended bladder, and his temperature did not register, at first. He was put on a relaxant to calm the seizures, an Oxygen mask, an IV, a catheter, and placed in an incubator. I know it sounds naive, but he was my baby, and I even though I knew what was happening, I could not register it. I called the clinic all night. I rushed in in the morning.The vet was quick to urge and start humane euthanasia. I got a slight flicker of recognition from him. I pet him while while he went. I am still a mess.I want him here, not another cat. I want a magic formula where the needle went in my arm, and he came him. It ripped my heart out.

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I meant , " and he came home." My husband does not understand, Sunny was/is my baby, a part of me. My mother has had a star in the International Star Registry named for him.

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Sunny9701, 

I am very sorry about the loss of your precious. I've lost several cats, and it's just terrible. When my first one, Emmy (who I had for more than 15 years) got sick and died, I thought I would never be able to love another cat like her. But then I rescued Bob and Mia. Bob was absolutely the nicest cat I've ever met. We had him for almost 11 years, and then we had to put him down. That was absolutely horrible for the entire family. Now we have Mia and Minnie. They are precious to us. Mia is getting old, and it's worrying me. 

 

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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shazoak   

I feel your grief ,they were,"are" family and best friends.

I miss my "little big man" every day.

But it warms my heart, knowing that all our friends were loved and had the best lives they could in your hands.

your not alone in your grief. x

 

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Thank you for the kind words. I still lose it when I see things that hit home. I went past the pet aisle when shopping and started bawling.

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I think that because I was/ am his "mom" , the only one looking after him, it hurts the most. The bond is a rare one. Scientists noticed that when people pet their animals, their blood pressure lowers. Some hospitals here in Ontario have started bringing in therapy pets for this reason to elderly patients who love animals. That unconditional interaction hurts a lot when you lose it.

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shazoak   

sunny9701

Yes it does hurt a lot . in fact it leaves a huge void in our hearts.

I did not eat for 3 days ,and walked around like a zombie  after my loss.

I just did not realise how strong our bond was.

But that cat played  me like a fiddle from kitten to the end,  and that i miss.

I read somewhere that a dog has an owner.

but a cat has a servant!

And a servant i was.

and wish i still was.

 

 

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calee   

I came home yesterday and found my kitty Tigger passed away. I am heartbroken. She was 17 with hyperthyroidism. I appreciate finding this site as I realize I had many years with her and she appears to have gone in her sleep as her little heart just couldn't beat that fast anymore. She was calico - white, black and orange. She was very independent, feisty, and she loved me. She started having trouble balancing herself about a week and a half ago. The vet recommended fluids and said she didn't appear to be in pain, just uncomfortable. She stopped eating the day before yesterday. I am so sorry for all the tragic losses I've read here. Thanks for reading about my Tigger bear.

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Just last night I lost my Claira Belle. She was only 6 years old. I got her when I was going into 1st grade, she was my first pet. I am currently shaking and crying. Claira was a beautiful black cat,her fur looked brown in the sunlight. For the past 2 months she had been breathing heavy. In the beginning, I told my mom we should take her to the vet, but my mother said maybe she had a little cold. She seemed perfectly fine, she ate her food. My mom hesitated to take her to the vet, Claira did not like the car. She would drool, and lose control of bodily functions. My parents and I, took her to the vet thinking maybe she had something little and well, fixable. As soon as we told the vet what happen, she took her heartbeat. The vet said she couldn't hear her heart beat. My dad told me to go walk around PetSmart, I was tearing up as I was looking at the cats. My dad came and found me and said "this is Claira's last night, let's go get your brother". I started bawling. We got my brother and came into Claira's room. The vet showed me the x-rays. She explained that Claira's heart may have failed causing her lungs to be filled with liquid and her stomach was full of air. I was so confused, she had been pushing through it for months and she didn't even show pain. The vet explained how they hide their pain. My mom and I decided to stay while they put her down. We got to hold her, and take pictures. She didn't even know what was happening, she just meowed just like she always does. She went down peacefully.

She loved Christmas trees, I'm so glad she got to have one last Christmas. It was so selfish of us to keep her in all the suffering, but we didn't know she was dying. All of the time she was breathing heavy she was just drowning in her own pain. The vet said if we brought her early nothing would have changed. I just can't grasp that she's gone. I saw her stop breathing, But when my mom asked me if I wanted her food bowl, I knew it was real. I still think she's coming back, but I know she isn't. I never imagined at 6 years old, adopting a cat and saying she's going to die when I'm 13. I always thought she would be around until I was an adult. I pictured myself going of to college saying goodbye to my skinny black cat. She was my first pet, my dad is allergic to cats. I begged for her. During school nights I read in bed she always slept with me and purred. Now I won't have a cuddle buddy. In the beginning of her rough breathing in mid November I was scared. At night I would cry to my mom "Claira isn't breathing right she's going to die" . My mom would say "She is going to die, but not anytime soon". Every night I would think about losing her. Now that it actually happened, I realize I was right all along. I should have brought her sooner. She was dying and I didn't even know it. She was my best friend, my first pet, and the sweetest cat I'll ever meet. I can't picture life without her meowing waking us up in the mornings because she wanted her wet food. I can't stop crying and always play a montage in my head of me adopting her until I saw her lying peacefully. She was my best friend

R.I.P Claira

4.25.08 - 1.4.15

 

Read your post and made me cry because it reminded me how I lost my cat today when I woke up. I searched "I miss my cat so much" on google and ended up here. Kitty was 7 years old, only 7 year old and she lived more than her mother and siblings. She was the best gift I've ever been given, I remember the day she got home my dad would say "Careful here girls, there's a very tiny thing on the floor you can't step on it" and me and my sister, we were young at the time, were really surprised to find a little ball of fur on the floor meowing for attention. I was so happy. Kitty then as she grew up, she became my best friend. During my parent's divorce she was there for me. Everytime I was sad she would jump to me (almost making me fall) trying to play with my fingers or hair (like she would always do until today. Despite being 7 years she was and is my eternal baby) or she would go on top of me, blocking my way to the tv or the computer, asking for love and for me to pet her. She was so sweet. As far as I know her family had some health issues but she was fine until some months ago where she started having some that seemed epilepsy attacks but when we took her to the vet he said he was not sure, so we should take a pic or film when she was to have those "episodes". She only had 3 that we were aware of. And of course, we didn't expect how could we guess she was about to have those things? And whenever that happened she was already on the floor and we always rushed to help. I told my mom many times to get her sterilized so she wouldn't have problems in near future. With my parents divorce and money, we never did it. I don't know if she was really sick, if we could've done something to let her live a little longer, because she was apparently fine, she even started to eat more and all. I remember waking up today and I found so weird that she wasn't there at my door to greet me, like she did every day. I found her, apparently sleeping peacefully. Just that she wasn't sleeping. I called her many times and shook her hand and nothing. I just hope she didn't suffer. Apparently she didn't but we will never know. And I feel so guity and I spent all the day crying because I can't think about opening the home's door and don't see that little face going to scratch the carpet and ask me to pet her. I miss her so much already.

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I understand your pain and so sorry for your loss.

I am currently still sad and grieving the loss of my little foster kitten. Yesterday it was already two weeks, but I am still hurting.
He was one of the kittens I helped rescue and he was so afraid and shy on the beginning, but later the biggest lover. I had him and his sister the longest, both for over six months and really got attached to them. I often wished, that I could have kept them, but I knew that was impossible, because some changes happened in my personal life and I couldn’t keep them.  Right after New Year’s, a very nice lady adopted them together.  I was so happy for both of them.  Then 1 1/2 weeks later the boy kitten had to be put down due to FIP.  I still have a hard time accepting that they had to put him down.  It still hurts sooooooooo much……and I wish I could return time, ……this makes me think, that life is truly not fair.



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I am so sorry for your loss. I truly feel your pain. Just today, we had to make the decision to put our precious Hannah to sleep. Hannah was born in March of 2004. We adopted Hannah and her sister Lily in July of 2004. That same day, we also adopted Katie, who was 3 years old at the time. From that day on, we were never the same. As we kitty lovers know, all kitty babies have their very own very special personalities. From the moment we brought our girls home, 'Hannah' was Mommy's baby...a beautiful, amazing bond of love that lasted for over 10 1/2 years. Hannah followed me everywhere, she slept with me, on me, followed me into the bathroom, ran to greet me when I got home from work. Literally, never left my side. I cannot express how much I will miss the look of genuine love in Hannah's eyes when she would just sit and stare at me with such love, that unconditional love that our kitty babies show us. After today, my life will not be the same. Hannah was diagnosed earlier this year with Renal Disease. Upon diagnosis, I was absolutely devastated. We began the proper treatments directed by our Vet. Her kidney levels did decrease slightly for a period of time, but this past Sunday, I knew Hannah was struggling...and we feared the worst. We were right to be afraid - her kidneys were failing fast and the toxins were building up in our baby. We took her to the Vet ER Tuesday - they immediately admitted her and began IV fluids. The next morning, we picked her up and transported her to our Vet. Well, that was yesterday morning, Wednesday the 28th. We did hold out hope that Hannah would beat this and we would be able to bring her back home with us...it was not going to happen. I drove over to the Vet earlier today to visit with Hannah and take her favorite flannel shirt she loved to lay on, along with her 2 favorite toys - I thought having them with her and the familiar smells of home would help her. When I arrived, the doctor came out and met me, we then proceeded to a private room. She gave me the devastating news, Hannah's levels had not improved in over 48 hours and the toxins were continuing to build up in her little body. She explained that 'one more day' would not make a difference and it would only prolong Hannah's pain and discomfort. The doctor expressed, with such compassion, it was time. I literally felt like I was going to die, such pain and grief was so overwhelming, I still feel numb and unable to function outside a fog. My husband and brother came immediately, so they could also say good-bye to our beloved Hannah. The Vet staff gave us all the time we wanted with Hannah...it was not enough to prepare for the end. The tears were flowing, words were incoherent as we thanked Hannah for living with us and bringing such JOY and Pure Love to our home over the last 10 years. She took her last breath knowing that she was surrounded by the humans who loved her to the depth of their souls. She was a part of us, she will always be a part of us, forever. I went online to find something that could help me in such a deep state of grief and sadness, such deep heartache and emptiness and I came across this site. You will never know how much all of your stories have helped me tonight - thank you. The tears were flowing as I read each and every story and they continue to flow as I write my story. Thank you all so much for reading my story. I hope that my story can help someone know that they are not alone in their grief. Hannah is everywhere I look, everything I smell around the house. It is gut wrenching to know she is not going to walk in this room and onto my lap at any moment. Hannah, I miss you, I love you, your life and the joy you brought to my life will be a part of me forever. You are with all of the other 'Kitty Angels' now. Rest in Peace my precious Hannah. Forever, your Mommy.

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Dear Hannah’s Mommy,

Thank you for sharing your story.  Tears filled my eyes when I read your story about your little baby Hannah. It is truly heartbreaking, my condolences.  I understand how you are feeling, I am going through the same feelings. Everywhere I look, I remember my little kitty. Yesterday I was in the kitchen, and I thought for sure I was feeling something rubbing against my leg, just like my little foster kitty used to do. For a quick second, I forgot that he wasn’t no longer here and looked with excitement down.  That’s when reality hit me again, and reminded me, that it must have been my imagination/my mind playing tricks on me.  Unless they have also Kitty ghost’s that come visit.  Over 2 years ago, I had lost my baby Tiger, which was my baby. I had her for over 14 years.  She found me when she was a stray and I took her in.  She was my everything and followed me everywhere. Words cannot explain the bond I had with her.  I was grieving so much after she was going, from one day to the next.  I really couldn’t talk to anybody about it too much, because in their eyes it was “just a cat”. --- But not me!!!! She was and still is my baby Tiger.  After losing her, and feeling the pain I didn’t want again to get attached like that, but then I somehow started to foster little kittens, just until they were big enough to be spayed/neutered and find a loving home through a respectable cat rescue organization. Yes, I was sad when they were adopted, but also happy I could help save their lives and find them a loving home.  Never in my life I thought I would have some of the fosters for over six months and get so attached to them. I truly formed a bond with them as well.  I feel terrible that I could not be there for my little boy in his last moments when they had to put him down due to FIP.

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