A Life in Limbo

[BIJulie]

Beyond Indigo Is Looking for Message Board Monitors

Interested in volunteering a few hours each week to monitor a message board and interact daily with the Beyond Indigo community? We're looking for monitors to share their experience, strength and hope. If you are interested, contact Julie at julie@beyondindigo.com for more information.

[honeybuny]

Allensmom,

Is what happened to your son done alot? I am an organ donor and would hate to think that because of someone's laziness that another person or people wouldn't be able to benefit from my organs.

I chose to be an organ donor because being a young widow made me look at my life in a very different way. I also lost my dad.

Now, if someone could benefit from my organs I know that my life will not have been in vain because from just that one person they also have family and friends and they will have the gift of life.

I wonder is there also another way to let people know you're an organ donor in addition to having it on your license?

[BIJulie]

Hi all –

I’m sure you’ve noticed that the message boards seem a little different. We’ve streamlined the message boards. We’ve unified the forum and thread names and tried to make things less confusing. I hope that it has made things easier for you.

We are considering adding new threads to the topics and would love to hear what you would like to be added. You can write me at julie@beyondindigo.com to share your thoughts and suggestions. I would love to hear from you.

I am also still looking for message board monitors. If you are interested, please let me know!

Take care,

Julie

[tinasdad]

Honeybuny, I lived in a rural area and noticed as a volunteer on the ambulance crew that the scenario you are asking about is fortunately rare. When a person dies in an accidentor otherwise unattended, one of the first things done is an identification search. This usually presents the donor information. You may ensure this info by wearing a type of medical alert bracelet or necklace. While these are not 100 percent effective in alerting the medical staff to your wishes and needs, they are noticed most of the time. You could also include your wishes in a living will, and carry that document with you. The unfortunate reality is that hurried medical staff can occassionally miss seeing the donor information, but it is rare. What you are choosing is so noble a deed, and I hope I have helped you in even a small way.

[biadmin]

Light A Candle for Pope John Paul II

Pope John Paul II has touched the hearts of many as he has traveled the world with his message of peace, hope and harmony. He is a man loved by many and has been the beacon of light for the followers of the Catholic Faith. Even non-Catholics have appreciated the deepness of his devotion. We note his passing in sadness and invite people of all faiths to Light A Candle to carry on his message of peace, hope and harmony.

http://www.beyondindigo.com/beyondtalk/lightacandle.php

[sdimarzo]

To All,

It seems that each of us in our life up until now has known at least one loving person, family member, friend or work aquaintance that has either had cancer or died from it in one way or another. Because each of us feels that we are either powerless or helpless when it comes to trying to do something for those who have been or are currently now afflicted with some form or type of cancer that the medical professionals have given up on, we kind of believe that they, those medical professionals, have the very last word on the prognosis for this particular loved one that we love more than life itself.

However, that doesn't have to be the case because there is a Cancer Clinic in Tijuana Mexico called the "Bio Medical Center" that specializes in treating all kinds and types of cancers with specific herbal supplements that have saved the lives of countless numbers of people who have gone there to be treated. Of course, this clinic is not a cureall for all kinds of cancers, but since I don't know which ones, you must find out for yourself by contacting them. Also, I don't know if you either have to go there for a diagnosis or whether you can fax them all of the information to allow them to make a diagnosis for you and then send you the "liquid" that just may make a difference in your loved one's life!! They are really very less expensive than if one was to have radiation, chemo or surgery!!!

They even treat pets with cancer too for I have contacted them concerning my precious golden retriever, Sam, who has possible Thyroid cancer. So, I have taken this information and applied it to my own situation with my pet!! Their phone number is (011 52 664 684 9011). Their email address is: (bmed@bc.cablemas.com) or (bmc@telnor.net). I am not sure which one you should use but try both just to be sure. Also, their address is (Ave. General Ferreira #3170 Colonia Juarez, Tijuana, B.C., Mexico 22150. Their mailing address is PO Box 433654 San Ysidro, CA. 92143-3654. Talk to either Olgo or Aida when calling, okay?

Remember, if your loved one has been given a limited amount of time to live, you must act on this information right away because time is of the essence. Be sure to ask as many questions as you can, and if possible there is a Dr. Guiterrez that I personally talked to about my dog's conditon and prognosis. So, he may be available to talk to if you specifically ask for him. If he is unavailable then, I am quite sure any of the young ladies who answer the phone will be able to help you!!

Please, put away your fear of trying something new because if you can get past the possibility that all of this may just not work or truly not be possible, then you just might be able to something for your cherished loved one before it becomes to late to do anything. All it takes is one phone call to change your life and maybe the life of your loved one. I get nothing from this because all I am trying to do is to save my precious golden retriever, but at the same time give out this information to anyone who may have a valued loved one on the verge of death because it just may be of some help to those who truly do not know what to do with a terminal diagnosis from the medical community!!

Always a friend,

Steve D.

[Kelly]

Hi,

We here at Beyond Indigo are looking to talk to people who are going through

the end-of-life process. We are looking specifically for people who are sick

and are being cared for by a former spouse -- someone they once were

married to and have re-established a relationship with in life's later

hours. We would be interested in talking with people who are sick, or their

former spouses. If the sick person has already passed, we be interested in

speaking with the care giver.

If you know someone please email me at kelly@beyondindigo.com.

Thanks!

Kelly

[biadmin]

Make a Buddy Connection

Feeling all alone? Wish you could talk one on one to a person who has suffered the same type of loss as you? Or maybe you are ready to move one with life and meet people in your area who have similar interests? Find a Buddy that understands your loss.

http://www.beyondindigo.com/buddyfind/index.html

[swede1]

Dear Sdimarzo,

I just checked out this forum and wanted to thank you for your info. on alternative methodologies on cancer. I don't currently have this situation to deal with, but one of my cats passed from cancer a few years ago and I've lived in dire fear of it ever since. At the time, despite having an holistic local vet., the only alternative I could access was Chinese Medicine and homeopathics. We had nothing but problems with the TCM because the herbs had to come from the State to Canada, it took too long to get and then it didn't even come in capsule form and we couldn't get small enough caps for a cat until it was far too late anyway. The homeopathics prescribed were just too late for his metastisized stage. With the future in mind, please let us all know if your dear dog's condition responds well to this Center's program!! I know there are some remarkable trtmts. out there for HUMANS, but they aren't generally also available &/or do-able for animals, especially cats, who are usually much smaller and harder to dose than dogs. I've lived with complete regret and guilt ever since my beloved furboy died, since I wasn't 'up' on enough things at the time and didn't know where else to turn to find alternative help for life-threatening illness. I don't believe in chemo. AT ALL and radiation isn't much better even though I know it can be used successfully in conjunction with other alternative methods....but it's not really available for cats anyway from what I've heard. Too few in the medical fields ever seem to think it's very important to save animals as much as humans and so our precious companions aren't given the same chances. I've written down your info. to save, just in case we run into this again. Please keep us posted!! My heart goes out to you and your doggie more than you might know!!!

[biadmin]

Need a Lift?

Are you feeling down? Not sure what to do next? Need inspiration? Visit our Peace Corner and find your center.

http://www.beyondindigo.com/peace.php

[moli1984]

I am doing research on support groups online for people with terminal illnesses. I wanted to know what is expected of a message board or blog that provides support for people struggling with terminal illnesses. What sites are recommended for specific illnesses? What makes you join a blog or a message board?

I would greatly appreciate anyone's help or recommendation.

Thank you very much.

[Guest Guest]

Hello Everyone,

I am working for an established documentary company is looking for subjects to interview about their illness...and their life. We'd love to speak with you. Do you have a story to tell? We'd love to hear it Email wonderdocs@yahoo.com.

Warmly,

Danya

[mamabets]

For sdimarzo- Hi friend!! I am assuming that all is well in my body, but I loved reading your information here- HOW IS YOUR DOG??? I am an animal lover- We have 4 daschunds!! Please let me know asap how your doggie is doing!! Love, xoxoxomamabets

[peter1]

Surviving a Heart Attack (just read)

This one is definitely worth your minute: I suffered a heart attack recently and I did one thing that brought almost immediate relief.

With all my strength I tried to stretch my body and overcome the bending position one is forced to when suffering a heart attack.

I put myself in supine position, put my STRETCHED ARMS TO THE SIDES at slightly greater tha right angle and stopped tossing and turning and moving my fingers, which I thought was the best way to REDUCE ADRENALINE – the main culprit of a HA. I felt almost immediate improvement in the depth of my breath, the pain the muscle cramp started receding. After 15 minutes I was able to stand up.

Putting arms to the sides looks to make the chest and muscles inside it expand and that streches the cramped heart muscle (like soccer players stretch their cramped calf by bending the foot to the maximum, just raise your arms above the head level and you can see it does make the chest expand). Staying totally motionless seems to induce a state of maximum relaxation of the body (which reduces adrenaline.) and muscles (including the heart muscle).

Please try using this technique when facing death. It can really help you and your relatives survive a heart attack.

Greetings

Peter

[alwaysmyjennifer]

nokinonheavensdoor, I'm sorry to hear you are facing this life threatening crisis. Please write here as often as you like, about anything you like or need. This website is for all of us, who have need, who face life and death and serious issues. I'll be thinking of you with a prayer.

[nokinonheavensdoor]

Alwaysmyjennifer,

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I sincerely appreciate your welcoming me to post here.

My life expectancy being what it is has been a real hard thing for me to come to terms with, especially in terms of the thought of my having to leave behind my children who are still young and in high school.

Please do not get me wrong, I try to keep a positive attitude and frame of mind. I am a fighter and I do hope to beat the odds and survive long enough to receive a lung transplant. If I am blessed and live long enough to receive a lung transplant odds are I will have a couple of years and a couple of years I feel would make such a difference in my childrens life with it in mind that my children are still young.

My children have been through so much. I am feeling as if this is all so unfair to my children. We lost our beautiful nine year old daughter, April, the first of July 1999. My three youngest children were present when their sister April suffered a sudden and fatal heart attack. Within a minute or two after my husband called for an ambulance April took her last breath as she lay in my arms, everything seemed to happen so fast, yet, I felt as if time stood still that day. I gave April CPR until the paramedics arrived and the doctors at the hospital did all that they could, but, not one of us were able to save her. After many years I have come to the conclusion that God decided it was her time and no amount of prayers or begging or pleading was going to change his mind.

Shortly after losing our beautiful April, my husband suffered a nervous breakdown. The man I married twenty five years before and the father of our children was no longer the man we had known before. We separated and we have lived apart since. Our children live with their father part of the time and with me the other part of the time. However, Dad is unable to manage money and needs help with managing money. It has been difficult being a parent in two homes at one time. I have done all that I can to ensure that our children have both their father and I in their lives as much as I am able. Now that I am very ill and without any close relatives that I can depend upon to help with my children should I die I am worried that my children will have no one that they can really depend or lean upon.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

nokinonheavensdoor, you've been going through so much. I am so deeply sorry your precious daughter is no longer with you, yet in another sense, she will forever be with you. In my opinion, you have too much going on to deal with the responsibilities of two homes. Is there a way for you to get services that would lighten your work and stress loads? Some of these may take time to get in place and working for you, but they can be helpful. To have the opportunity to live even a little longer is well worth all you must do to receive this gift. I like your attitude about it, that if you can gain time for your children . . . To even see what has happened to your marriage, with all that you are going through, my heart hurts for you. As a whole, your situation is such that I would imagine it can be overwhelming at times. This is understandable. Try to take time for things you like, things you find relaxing. A long bath, candles, maybe a favorite snack or drink. Something you find enjoyable can go a long way in making you feel better about things. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to write as often as you like, anytime, and let your heart guide you.

[suelowe]

nokinonheavensdoor, i'm sorry to hear you're going through so much. i know this is only a short message, but you're in my thoughts and prayers. We're hear for each other.

thinking of you. i'm sorry i don't know what to say. take care of yourself, and write as much as you need to.

with love

sue

[nokinonheavensdoor]

Thank you Suelowe and alwaysmyjennifer, please know, I appreciate your response and prayers.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

anytime. we are all here to help each other, and to gain a little help for ourselves. It's not a purely selfless thing, per se. I carry a lot of sorrow since I lost my daughter. Perhaps, I find that in helping others, I often help myself. Take care, and may you find the peace you need and deserve. Mark

[68iou1]

I'm a 32 year old wife and a mother of 2 children... a/k/a Hippity-10

year old girl & Hoppity-8 year old boy. **smiles** I was diagnosed in April of 2000 with CHF secondary to a dilated cardiomyopathy and was categorized as indefinitely disabled.

In September of 2001 I went on my husbands and my first vacation which ended in me having a freak accident (fell off a 2 seater jet ski,*imagine taking a firemans hose placing it at your anus at point blank range and turning it on...now multiply the force by 2 to 3....) Well the outcome was I tore up my sphincter muscle, which now leaves me with a ileostomy-type of ostomy (I poo in a bag)

I had to undergo numerous surgeries thru the ordeal for my wound was so deep that I had to be put under just to change dressings/and redo packing...

In 2003 I was implanted with an artificial sphincter and was to undergo a

take down of my ileostomy. Well, my heart wanted nothing to do with it, for the anesthesiologist said that they would not perform with my heart's current condition...so from that time on i was in and out of hospitals for CHF....(like hospitalized once every 4 to 6 months.)

October of 2004 out of no where I was unable to walk...my feet/legs/arms were throbbing of pain uncontrollably. I was diagnosed with having at some point of my life exposed to the "parvo virus"- which I thought was funny and that it was a virus for the dogs... the symptoms went away slowly and came back with a vengence in December of 2004.

New Year's Day 2005 I was taken by ambulance to emergency for this excruciating pain and hospitalized for close to 3 weeks, going through test after test. Then finally a biopsy was done, confirmed and diagnosed with "Vasculitis" an *auto-immune disease* called "polyartheritis nodosum."

With this disease I had to start taking steriods..prednisone and a cancer med called cytoxin. With the start of these 2 meds my cardiologist was not happy but his hands were tied due to the not having any other choices.

I was taken off the cytoxin after an unacceptable side effect of severe swelling a retention of water. Mid-November 2005 I was diagnosed with diabetes and had to give myself shots of insulin 2x a day.

Now as of the end of January 2006 I was hospitalized again and was told that my heart got very weak...and that my EF is 20 to less than 20%. I was told that I am terminally ill and in need of a heart transplant.

My cardiologist was honest with me and said that my chances for a green light or to be eligible to be considered for a transplant was very slim, due to all my other complications.

The month of February and and first week of this month(March) I had to go thru countless doctor appointments/follow ups; trying frantically to control all these little complications for I had an appointment for a transplant evaluation march the 9th.

Yesterday at Cedars Sinai Hospital. My evaluation consisted of the Medical Director of the Heart Transplant Program and Director of Transplantation Cardiology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center physical check-up (as in he listened

to my heart; front/ back, my ankles, and he asked me for my medical history. And that was it. He said he should be giving his response to my cardiologist with in next week or so.

I guess the waiting to see if im eligiable to be CONSIDERED for a transplant has left me refusing to feel or have any reaction at the moment. I will not allow myself to walk in to a wall again; it hurts and the sting leaves one hopeless..... at least for me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[messenger]

DEAR,,,,,,,,,,,68iou1,,,WOW HAVE YOU BEEN THRU THE MILL.........................I AM SO VERY SORRY TO HEAR YOU HAVE HAD TO GO THRU SO MUCH PAIN AND AGONY............YOU MUST BE ONE VERY VERY STRONG LADY.......YOUR 2 KIDS ALSO HAVE BEEN THRU ALOT.......KEEP IN TOUCH WITH US HERE ON BEYOND INDIGO..CONTINUE TO LET YOUR FEELINGS OUT.........GETTING THEM OUT WILL HELP YOU RELEASE SOME OF THE STRESS YOU ARE HAVING.....

I PRAY........YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED FOR THE TRANSPLANT AND YOU WILL HAVE MANY YEARS TO BE WITH YOUR CHILDREN..........

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU..........DONT GIVE UP.....I WILL BE LIFING YOU UP DEAR LADY...

MESSENGER

[lauraa]

68IOU1...YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS! I CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT YOU MUST BE FEELING. YOU ARE SO STRONG. JUST KEEP LOOKING AT THOSE SWEET LITTLE ONES YOU HAVE AND DRAW STRENGTH TO BUILD ON WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE.

SINCERELY.

[alwaysmyjennifer]

68iou1, as I read all of what you wrote, I couldn't help but feel so moved with compassion and sorrow for what you are going through. As much as doctor's know, I've found that they don't know everything. Please don't give up on hoping. My wife was diagnosed as in the final stage of dystrophy in 2003, and they told me recently she may have between two and three years to live, depending upon several factors. You are blessed with your precious children, who sound like the lights of your days. Children have a way of doing this for parents. My kids are mostly adults, except one. I say I'm onto "round two", helping to raise my grandson, the most beautiful gift God can give me. Please take each day as it is given to you. Take each moment, and look for the strength for that moment. Hold onto your hope, if not only for yourself, then for "Hippity" and "Hoppity". We will keep you in our prayers, for you and your children. I'm Mark, Jenni's dad

[lauraa]

68iou1......I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago....he was sick for three years. We never/ever gave up..not until he took his last breathe. If I had to do it over I wouldn't change a thing...we are competitive and did everything to try and heal....DON'T GIVE UP! My prayers are with you.

[rodless]

68iou1, You have many people on this board praying for you. Miracles happen and hope needs to stay with you to find one. My husband died in July after battling cancer for 4 years. We always followed new trends and treatments and believed it could happen - if not for us, for someone else. Hang tough... God bless you and your family!

[Kelly]

Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family