Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Upcoming visit to best friend who is about to die


aviaticsquad

Recommended Posts

  • Members
aviaticsquad

Hi all,

I'm at a loss for what to do and I would love some advice from folks who have been through or are going through this as well. My best friend's brain cancer has very suddenly taken a turn for the worse and they have stopped treatment for her. We're both in our early twenties. She has very little time left. I am flying to see her in two days and get to say goodbye. I am so scared and feeling completely at a loss. So, a few questions:

1. Any tips for how to emotionally and mentally prepare for this? I've dealt with death of friends before, but its always just sprung on me - I've never had this foreknowledge of it. It's blowing my mind.

2. When I actually see her, how should I behave? Some people are telling me that when I'm with her, I need to be strong for her to comfort her. Others are saying I should just share myself fully, what I'm truly feeling, and connect with her in that way. I don't know how to "be myself" anymore, it's not that simple. Any advice?

Thank you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
josephtmacgregor

Aviaticsquad, once again I am so sorry about your friend. I am glad that we had the chance to talk tonight. I know you are hurting... six years later I am still hurting, but talking with someone who has entered the world of a loved one with brain cancer helps. Brain cancer is different from other cancers and especially the end stages of life are different.

The reason I post is because I forgot to mention-- you may have already found this, but there is a Web page: www.brainhospice.com

It is a tremendous resource for friends, families, caregivers, etc. alike. This is one resource that, tough as it was to read, was a real help as my brother was "actively dying," they call it. There is a timeline page, which explains the different stages of dying and what, at certain time intervals before death, the patient may be physically and emotionally experiencing--as well as the caregiver, how the caregiver(s) may be feeling as a result of the patient's changes. Our family found the timeline to be pretty accurate, definitely in general, but also with the specifics.

I know you are not your friend's primary caregiver, but if you have any questions or just want to talk, I am here. It helps me to talk about my brother, even his illness, and if it can help you during this difficult time, then that is even better.

Take care,

Joe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.