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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
kelly

Today I Am...

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Still VERY depressed...

My Father has improved somewhat...(although I fear/know it may only be temporary)..is taking 20 days of P.T. in a skilled care facility. I have been suffering from bronchitis flare up...(Very bad) and unfortunately can not visit either parent, for fear of making them more ill...which depresses me. Talking via phone isn't the same, esp. when my voice is not clear (nasal/sinus issues also) and their (parents) hearing isn't so sharp. I have been to doctor once, meds did not work...called him back..been on news meds 3 days...still nothing...plant o visit dr. again tomorrow. Work..is a pian..rumors of company closing, thus I will be out of a job.....I have a strong dislike for life in general as of late!!!!!

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Witsend - I have been wondering how you were - the bronchitis stuff can be a real drain on people in general and a complete wipeout for those under the amount of stress you are carrying. Have you asked the dr for antibiotics - that's the only thing that's been helping people in these parts. I hope you find some relief so you can be with your parents as I know that is upsetting you a great deal. Please keep in touch when you can and take care.

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Hey Mofirefly...thanks for your post and genuine concerns...yeah, my dr. today, prescribed me Avelox 400 mg..1 X D and Prednisone 20mg 3 tabs once a day..I hope this helps...for I have felt like crap physically as well as emotionally.

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Witsend - More advice if that's ok - follow the drill of getting plenty of rest, and drink lots of fluids. And may I add that in one of your earlier posts you sounded like you wouldn't want to go on without your parents and when I read that I wanted to say that I hope you do keep going on because you are a very special person - one that cares, which is evendent by how much you care about your parents...and this crazy mixed up world needs more people who care...and since your parents raised you to be that caring person, you know darn well they would want you to continue caring even if you had to go on by yourself. Hope you don't mind me sharing these thoughts and I hope they make sense when you read them. Now go follow your doctors advice, take the meds (my husband felt better after one dose of meds) and get better so you can get back to your parents and give them a smile and hug. Take Care!

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Thanks mofirefly...after a week I am finally better!!! What a long haul!! The doctor told me Sunday...anything could happen with my Dad at any time...and I just broke down...luckily, I was not in my Father's room. I just feel so sad...worried...depressed...I so wish it was me instead of him...I can't see, nor understand how we are expected to just let go of someone we have known our entire lives. Life is so unfair...a long set of grueling cicumstances...then there is my Mother paralyzed...I am trying my best to enjoy what time I or my Father may have remaining...it is just so tough. I have trouble sleeping and then I have trouble awakening...just brushing my teeth seems like a chore...anti-depressants I take...do not help and I have been on, I think every one available in the past year...I wished I could cry more than I do...at work...many times a day...I run to the men's room, lock the door...and just cry like mad....life is not been good to me...and it seems daily I am slammed even harder.

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Witsend - I am so glad you are feeling better physically - just wish like you that there was a pill to make us feel better emotionally. You are doing the best you can, and that's all anyone can ask - and I truly hope that someday soon, instead of feeling like you've been slammed, perhaps a window/door will open and you'll feel some joy, no matter how little - like a smile from you dad as you share a past memory. I think it's a shame that our society doesn't allow public crying - I remember all to well having to run into the bathroom to break down. Life may be extrememly difficult now, but please realize, it gave you two wonderful people that you love so very much...just keep on loving them and take care of yourself.

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Thanks so much Mofirefly!!! I am attempting to enjoy each day as best i can...trying to not focus on negatives...but at times it is like fighting a raging fire with but a water gun. I am grateful for my parents..and I am thankful they are not in any pain...at least at this point. Yet...the looming fears consume me at times..trouble sleeping...I burst out crying in public...I could care less who sees me...for "those" people do not matter!! I just want to do things for my parents...no matter what it is. If it is...move the table from point A to B....whatever...just anything...give me a task??? Yet...they ask for so very little...and again...I so wish I could take their infirmities away from them and place them upon myself....although I would be in a world of stuff physically...emotionally, I could see them healthy again and that alone would get ME thru this!!!

In closing...Mofirefly..."This world needs more people like you!" You are genuine in concern and do not even know me nor my parents...your advice really cheers me up....THANK YOU!!!

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Witsend - Just wanted to let you know I may be off the boards the next few days due to a family situation...I will continue to think of you and your fparents and hope for the best. I thought you remard about fighting a raging fire with a water gun fits what most of us are going thru quite appropriately. I may not know you personally, but I know the pain you are in and if anything I post here helps you, it also helps me in a way that is hard to explain in words. I will check back here once matters settle down here, hopefully in about a week. Take care of yourself...and please post when you can.

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Witsend - I think this computer is up and running again - but I haven't located any posts from you - Hope you are doing ok with the heavy load you are carrying. Take Care of yourself!

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Today I am feeling very low - have had way too much bad news lately and would love to answer the phone and not have to be so upset when I hang up. Just came here to put my thoughts down so I might be able to get some rest - because when I come to the boards I see the burdens so many others are carrying that I remind myself that I'm not alone...and that God will carry me should I get to tired.

Witsend - I've been thinking of you a lot lately because of your sign on name I do hope you are doing ok. Please post when you can and take care!

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Mofirefly, I am sorry that bad news and challenge seems to be the way these days... I always wonder when things are tough for me what it is God is trying to show me through the challange. It doesn't make it easy, but it assures me He is with me. I know that may sound strange, but walking one step at a time in faith, which I know you do, will find us one day being very blessed and feeling that no matter how hard the challenges, we'd live this life all over again just to know the many wonderful gifts and blessings that were ours in our lifetime. Praying for you, and hoping that today can bring a smile or two. God bless you, Claudia

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Guest Guest

Young E-Published writer who has lost her mother, father, pets, friends, babies and many significant others is putting the finishing touches on a table book which captures the humorous and sometimes inappropriate remarks that children and adults make when choosing what to say to someone who has suffered the loss of a Parent, Spouse, Lover, Friendship, Pet, Child or Business Partnership is seeking your contribution today.

These stories are not exclusive to death as loss can include those who have moved away from us either physically or emotionally. We are NOT seeking stories relating to the loss of jobs, homes or other personal property.

Painful memories when shared in a safe environment can often be soul healers so we hope you'll take the time to share with our understanding group.

When replying, please include your first name, age and the subject of the loss on the subject line:

i.e. LOSS OF PARENT or LOSS OF CHILD, etc.

Please fill out a survey here:

http://www.zoomerang.com/survey.zgi?p=WEB226E49J9JZG

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Send your responses to:

tablebook2007@yahoo.com

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tablebook2007/

Many thanks,

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Witsend - I hope all is well for you during this difficult time you are having...please know that we are still lifting you up in prayer. Take care!

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I think so....doesn\'t seem to be much activity here.

My wife has breast cancer which we thought was beat several years ago. A year ago we found it had spread to her lungs, liver, bones, and most recently brain. While I have support and help from other family members, I\'m the main caregiver and frankly it\'s burning me out....

correct me if I\'m wrong: we\'re supposed to jump in and talk about ourselves and respond to others? thanks.

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I've been coming to these boards since October last year and I have found this area of the boards to be very slow. I don't think it's because there aren't plenty of others going through similar experiences as you. I think some just don't write until after, because that's when slilence is deafening... BUT, the loss of a spouse and child boards are ALWAYS busy, and there are certainly people there that have already experienced exact scenarios as both of you, sven57 and juliepond. Just because you are here in this phase of before loss and grieving, it doesn't mean someone that has already gone through it can't relate and be helpful and understanding. If you don;t hear from someone here to meet your needs, please don't give up. Visit one of the other threads I mentioned. This site has been a lifesaver to me, and I know there are people that care deeply that are around to communicate with through the hard times.

Bless you both. I'm so sorry for your pain and struggles with caregiving and grieving. I have you both in my prayers today. Hugs, Claudia

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Juliepond and Sven57 - I haven't been able to get on the boards as much as I use to, but when I started in Oct 06 - I just put down my thoughts and then came back and started reading and then tried to start up a connection with some of the others - I now look at this place as a refuge to come to and leave messages/thoughts/feelings etc and have experienced some release of my situtaion just by sharing my thoughts with others....there really isn't a set way to start or stop, so simply jumping in is quite ok. Juliepond, I'm not sure what your situation is, so if you would like you can share it here or on one of the other forums. Sven57 - I can relate to being a caregiver, as I care for my husband, but his health isn't nearly as severe as that of you wife...but caregiving is an extrememly difficult load to carry...so if coming here helps...it is a safe haven to put down any feelings you are having as you will find others here that are willing to help you carry your load even if only thru cyperspace. Take care.

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ok, I guess this is the slowest message board around, I wish it wasn't. I really don't want to read messages from people who have already lost their children/loved ones. It's hard enough dealing with today, i don't want to think too much about tomorrow, you know? I've tried to write to 'buddy's' but nothing has come of that either. Is there a better site in general to go to?

My youngest son is slowly losing his abilities. Some days are worse than others, some days are fairly normal, although normal has taken on new meaning..I'm a single mom and my older son is having a really bad time right now, he's already lost his older brother and now this..My (at present) oldest son is a great guy, really great. and it's just too much for him right now. As my youngest goes through his changes his personality is changing as well, he's becoming quite difficult that way, which makes everything even more difficult.

I'd really like to talk with others who are in the same situation. Since I've already lost my oldest, I know that time after the death, is a very very difficult time and reading about this time on the other boards isn't sounding very good right now. so. sven, would you like to write?

I'm having a really hard time now because I am feeling alone. I don't know when my son's situation will change ( I can't say the usual terms..when he passes on), it might be years or it might be tonight.

I'm a buddhist and so I live in the moment and that has brought me great help and peace. I'm so grateful for having the practice. I can't really talk about all of this to friends because they become afraid their children might die, or they simply can't relate, or this or that. This is one of those areas that people truly can't relate to until they're in it.

Sven, you're taking care of your wife. I'm so sorry for you and so happy that she has you and that you're there for her. She must have so many feelings and I'm sure you must have all kinds of feelings as well. It's very hard to be true to my feelings when I know my sons need me so badly and yet Iknow how important it is to be true to myself otherwise I won't be able to be there for my boys. In any case, I'm thinking about you sven.

I'll go check out another board, I somehow think I'll last less than l0 seconds. thank you for reading, who ever is out there! take care. julie

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Juliepond - So sorry that you have soooo much to deal with, and it sounds like you are alone in the battle. If this board hasn't helped, there should be caregiver support boards around somewhere. I use to belong to one, but all messages came in as email and it simply was too much to deal with. Have you tried a google type search typing in your son's condition and then support groups (I'm fairly new to computers and that is about the only suggestion I can come up with). I try to check messages on this site at least every other day, and so I hope I'll catch one of your posts...but also hope you can find support somewhere for your particular need. Please take care.

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Just having a thought on caregiving and griving tonight as my friend's husband is in the hospital. She & I are both caregiver's for our husbands and we lean on each other quite a lot (but it's a long distance lean between MO and CA). It seems when you are a caregiver you are so much more aware of all the rotten things that can happen and when you combine that with a loss of a loved one it can be overwhelming at times. My husband has Parkinson's.....that's the same disease my dad died from in 01....so I'm very familar with what may/may not be heading our way. We are simply trying to do our best to make the most of the time we have together and not dwell on the negative thoughts. One of the most important rules of being a caregiver (if you haven't already heard) is that you MUST take care of yourself in order to care for the other. I wish all who are here on these boards peace tonight....TAKE CARE.

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hi candy.......i did not know your husband had parkinsons........im so sorry and i hope your all well tonight........i dont know much about it.....except for michael j fox having it......he seems to be doing ok......how is your husband????????? that must be so hard for you to handle.........i had no idea...............i will pray for you tonight ..........please take care and keep coming on to talk to me......it helps alot.......i will pary for your family as well..........nite tara........you are so strong ..i dont know how you do it.........you are a wonderful perso i can tell........peace to all...........tara

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Tara - you didn't say how you are doing??????? I hadn't seen a post from you in a while and I hoped you were getting some much needed rest from all that is happening to you. Parkinsons is a strange disease that effects just about each person differently. My husband has a great ability to ignore his problems...but I keep a very close eye on him so I can report changes to the Dr. The medicines available now seem to be helping people live longer with the darn thing...yet it steadily takes pieces of live away. Enough of that...hope you are doing better and hope the Drs have figured out how to treat you. Try to get thru tomorrow the best way you can. Take care.

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hello eveyone. I hope that this day is a blessing for all. I thank God for loving us and for taking care of us each and everyday. I would like for everyone to pray for my friend McFarland. She is very ill and angry tooo. I gave her so much TLC and we laughed because she told me her grandson calls her a hottie.  But she needs our prayers because she is ill and she lost her husband three months ago. So she has a lot on her plate at this moment. But I tried to allow her to enjoy the night without the worry for a little while. May God take our hearts and allow us to show him and not self. thank you all.

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