Lost Husband of 29 years two years ago

[Cindy Mitchell]

Hi, I'm new to this. I lost my husband Charlie, two years ago and just can't seem to move on. I'm just existing. My Daughter wants her mom back but I can't find her. I'm desperate.Would like to have some one to talk to about this. I know I'm not alone but it sure feels like I am.

[ModKonnie]

Hi, I'm new to this. I lost my husband Charlie, two years ago and just can't seem to move on. I'm just existing. My Daughter wants her mom back but I can't find her. I'm desperate.Would like to have some one to talk to about this. I know I'm not alone but it sure feels like I am.

Cindy,

I am so sorry about your loss. Of course you have been lost. Have you tried any groups or counseling? Do you talk about your loss, or do you journal or anything to get your feelings out? Are you working? Have you tried a new hobby or activity such as a class to help you find yourself again?

We will be here to listen and support you. When you are ready, tell us all about Charlie.

ModKonnie

[Cindy Mitchell]

Cindy,

I am so sorry about your loss. Of course you have been lost. Have you tried any groups or counseling? Do you talk about your loss, or do you journal or anything to get your feelings out? Are you working? Have you tried a new hobby or activity such as a class to help you find yourself again?

We will be here to listen and support you. When you are ready, tell us all about Charlie.

ModKonnie

Thank you for your reply. I talk about the loss of Charlie, but know one seems to understand. I've talked and cried so very much. Yes I have a job. Charlie was the manager of a large ranch so it got dropped in my lap. I have a hard time being there, he should be doing this. I was just a house-wife who hung out with Charlie. So I feel like I'm way over my head. But I need the paycheck. Then I feel guilty because I don't do anything as good as it should be done. Yes I have been doing upholstery but now it's gotten to the point that I can't even do that. I have no concentration at anything. I will just say it. I'm a mess. I want to get better but I don't know what the first step should be. About Charlie, he was not perfest by any means but he was perfect for me. He gave me self confidence, he was my best friend. We lived so far out that I don't know many people. It was just He & I & my daughter. She lives close but I don't want to add to her pain.

[widower2]

I talk about the loss of Charlie, but know one seems to understand.

No one who hasn't been through something like this really does, unfortunately. Even counselors might know the particulars but only those of us who've been there really "get it."

Then I feel guilty because I don't do anything as good as it should be done.

I think we all know that feeling. I also am an expert on regrets of not having done things right or well enough beforehand in case that pops up. Plenty of ways to beat yourself up, but do you really think you deserve that after all you've been through??

I want to get better but I don't know what the first step should be.

I can't say of course, but I think talking to someone who truly does understand could help a lot. What about grief counseling?

It was just He & I & my daughter. She lives close but I don't want to add to her pain.

I'm sorry I don't understand this. If she wanted to talk to you or lean on you, would you be bothered because she was adding to your pain? I can appreciate how hard it must be on both of you, but hopefully you can help each other through this, not feel even more alone from it. If talking in person is too hard, try the phone or even a letter or card or something. Maybe this might be that first step.

Just some thoughts - best wishes to you in being able to take steps to move forward!