Loss of Dad to brain tumour

[Suede]

I lost my father three weeks ago from a brain tumour (glioblastoma multiforme stage 4) and still reeling in shock. He got diagnosed with the tumour exactly 1 year ago when he went to outpatients at hospital with what he thought was a sinus headache and they found the tumour, admitted him straight away, put him on steroids and kept him in for five days to wean him off aspirin and then they performed a huge 6-7 hour operation. Straight away after the operation he was awake and in his right mind and completely making sense but they only removed half the tumour. I flew down to Sydney to see him and he was just starting chemo and radiation but he was incredibly weak and shaky on his legs and his voice was soft, he said it was from the steroids and it will pass but I was extremely upset to see him like that. Over the past twelve months he kept ringing me to say the treatment's working and he'll be fine but the rest of my family were telling me otherwise, and to expect the worst. I didn't believe them because obviously I didn't want to, and I had been very sick myself so couldn't go down to see him. I had surgery for my adenomyosis only six weeks ago and then my mother rang and told me Dad's dying and she wanted to wait until I'm recovered from surgery before she told me. I had no money for the airfare so my family paid and I flew straight down to see him, he had just been admitted to hospital by this stage. I got a huge shock to see the condition he was in, I'm used to seeing people who are dying but it's different when it's your own family. He recognized me and was happy to see me but his eyes were rolling back, he was having siezure type movements in his legs, his words were jumbled and he was hallucinating and could hardly feed himself. I spent every day with him and he kept saying he had no pain, and he would go off into long stories with his jumbled speech, often laughing, frowning, and gesturing to go along with the stories. He knew what he was saying and could understand us but I think he thought his speech was normal. The night before I flew back to Brisbane I hugged him and said "Goodbye Dad, I love you!" and he broke down sobbing knowing we would never see each other again, he died the next day while I was travelling back to Brisbane. Exactly six weeks ago I was talking to him on the phone and he was still walking, talking, and working so the deterioration was very rapid.

[ThomasP]

Please accept my deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved father. There are no words to comfort you, but perhaps if I tell you that I have been there. My father passed 2 years ago from cancer, and I still grieve and cry for him.

Please know that you are not alone. There are others who truly care what you are going through.

Hugs.