Loss of My Father

[Pmjpkj]

Hello. My name is Christiana. I am 28 years old. My father passed away on the 16th of June at the UCLA Medical Center. It was a horrendous death. He had contracted the flesh eating disease, staph, and strep. I remember I was called a week earlier and told that he had only hours to live. I rushed to southern California to be by his side. He was sedated and on a ventilator but he shook my hand and tried to look at me. I had him airlifted to UCLA after the doctor at the local hospital refused to treat his flesh eating disease. After a week my father was beginning to turn around. The treatments were working but sadly he had come in with congestive heart failure. His heart had been working at only 20% for years and a week of extreme illness was just to much for it. He died last Saturday.

I am extremely saddened by his death. My parents were divorced and during my childhood I only had a few visits with my father. He was not a dead beat dad though, don't get me wrong. He supported me until I was an adult. Anyhow, once I was grown we connected again. It was rocky at first but for the past five years we have had a good relationship. We understood each other and were finally able to be a family. Now that he is gone I grieve not only for the father who I have lost but for the father I was still getting to know.

Any suggestions for coping with the loss of a father is greatly appreciated.

[imsoblue]

Hello, first very sorry ( hugs) I know its very hard to deal with. I also lost my father, last yr right before new yrs, the day before, that was my new yrs. the doctors kind of gave up on him, he was in the hospital, they said either we operate or dont, my dad said okay lets go for it. he didnt make it those few days to have the operation, he was sitting up eating when I left the hospital. and then i got the call a few hrs later, they were working on him when i rushed back, it was over. i lost my mom when i was young, so all i had was my dad who raised us. i say to myself why did i leave the hospital. I cannot believe that they didnt want to treat your dad, thats what they are supposed to do. i dont know what advise to give, everyday is a struggle for me. But i know how hard it is everyday

[Pmjpkj]

My father died while I was away as well. The night before his died he spiked a fever of 109. They thought it was a reaction to a stomach drug they had given him so they began cooling him down to 91 to help stop further damage to any organs. When I had left the hospital that night they said his fever would be under control at 106 and no higher. The next morning, I got the call that he was about to code and was at a fever of 109. I rushed down. His pacemaker and defibrillator had stopped him from coding. I stayed with him to about noon and then went back to the hotel to take a shower, brush my hair, everything you need to do to get ready in the morning that I had not had time to do. Then the doctor called me and told me that if he coded he could not bring him back because he had gone into complete organ failure. When I arrived, the respirator was still working however his heart had quit. People normally wait to pass away at a time when you have left. It has happened to my family on more than one occasion.

Christiana

Hello, first very sorry ( hugs) I know its very hard to deal with. I also lost my father, last yr right before new yrs, the day before, that was my new yrs. the doctors kind of gave up on him, he was in the hospital, they said either we operate or dont, my dad said okay lets go for it. he didnt make it those few days to have the operation, he was sitting up eating when I left the hospital. and then i got the call a few hrs later, they were working on him when i rushed back, it was over. i lost my mom when i was young, so all i had was my dad who raised us. i say to myself why did i leave the hospital. I cannot believe that they didnt want to treat your dad, thats what they are supposed to do. i dont know what advise to give, everyday is a struggle for me. But i know how hard it is everyday

[debbie8800]

Christina: Sorry for your loss, my mom passed 6 months ago she was 87 a good age. Same thing she caught mrsa which is similar in a nursing home, it was awful, i tried to help her earlier by the time she was put into the hospital she only lived 14 days, contrary to your dad my mom had a very strong heart but they made some mistakes. While she was weak they did an endoscopy which was not a good idea. anyway i am healing now and getting better but it was very tough.

I was floored for a while i am better now. By the way i am in NJ and was in calif for awhile and had mom in ucla too.

I miss her so much and can barely function without her she ws my best friend. I think i am going to go to florida for a while.

Nameste take care Debbie

[Pmjpkj]

Mistakes happen. In my Father's case, we were told that a drug to make his stomach pass food (he was tube fed) had made him spike the high fever which had contributed to fluid buildup that stopped his heart. It was a drug that really wasn't needed. That is very hard for me to accept.

Christiana

Christina: Sorry for your loss, my mom passed 6 months ago she was 87 a good age. Same thing she caught mrsa which is similar in a nursing home, it was awful, i tried to help her earlier by the time she was put into the hospital she only lived 14 days, contrary to your dad my mom had a very strong heart but they made some mistakes. While she was weak they did an endoscopy which was not a good idea. anyway i am healing now and getting better but it was very tough.

I was floored for a while i am better now. By the way i am in NJ and was in calif for awhile and had mom in ucla too.

I miss her so much and can barely function without her she ws my best friend. I think i am going to go to florida for a while.

Nameste take care Debbie