Lost mom a week ago

[fragileorchid]

I lost my mom on May 31/2012. Her passing is still very fresh. I dont know what to do. It seems that I a all alone. No family has come forward to help. I have made all the arrangements by myself and had a private service so the two of us could say goodbye. I thought I was doing well by holding things together. I walked around the past few days in a total fog not remembering how I got from point A to point B. Then last night turned to anger. I was very angry with mom for leaving the way she did. Mom had addictions to many things her whole life and her body finally had enough. Today as my children are at school and the house is all quiet the tears and numbness have returned. Can anyone please help me to understand why I feel this way and if it will get better?

[BillD616]

Sorry for your loss! My mom passed away from stage 4 lung cancer on 5/21/12, and I feel the same way since this just happened out of the blue. One thing I can say is remember that the grief stages have no time lines and take your time in grieving. Just remember that you have your life to take care of and that is the most important thing right now next to grieving. I hope you stay strong and remember that no one is guaranteed tomorrow.

[Rachie]

1338913019' post='87813']

I lost my mom on May 31/2012. Her passing is still very fresh. I dont know what to do. It seems that I a all alone. No family has come forward to help. I have made all the arrangements by myself and had a private service so the two of us could say goodbye. I thought I was doing well by holding things together. I walked around the past few days in a total fog not remembering how I got from point A to point B. Then last night turned to anger. I was very angry with mom for leaving the way she did. Mom had addictions to many things her whole life and her body finally had enough. Today as my children are at school and the house is all quiet the tears and numbness have returned. Can anyone please help me to understand why I feel this way and if it will get better?

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in feb thus year and I know exactly how u are feeling, sometimes I'm bawling, others I'm screaming at everyone and sometimes I feel like I have no feelings at all I'm scrubbing the house constantly and I am so scared of death. I hope you can find someone to help you through this, cis even though I have my partner I feel so alone xxxx

[Derry]

My dear one~

I have discovered that it takes time for our minds, hearts and souls to finally come to grips with

our new reality. My mother passed away on April 14. Some days it feels like it happend only yesterday and on other days it seems like it's been an eternity. At this very moment I am calm....actually very mellow and relaxed. This afternoon I feared for my life.....couldn't stop sobbing...it was horrible, even painful. At times I wondered if it was simply time to give up.

My siblings offered NO help (physical or financial) during the 17 years I cared for mother....yet, they swept in and took over her funeral and the dispersal of her assets immediately upon her death....and once again they abandoned me.

It sounds like I'm taking my mother's death a little too hard....but she was my family. We had been business partners for decades....friends forever....she had become my daughter in her last years.

Seems that this thing called Death is always new to everyone...usually we are not prepared....not matter how much we THINK we are. Every story is unique and very special. Share your story...both the good and the bad....absorb it all. I've been told that it DOES get better....it seems that would be the only reasonable outcome.....guess it just takes time.

My heart and prayers are with you.

[vivkib]

Derry, I'm sorry for your loss. I wish you had no need to join us on this very rough road. but so glad you are here. We all understand the paon and overwheling feeling that go along with our losses. When you need to scream, cry, vent, laugh through you tears, we are all here to listen and hold you in prayers. The beginning is a strange mix of activites that keep pulling us in different directions. I found in the first few week there was just so much to do and take care. In away it put alot of the emotions on hold. As things settled down some the emotions can rushing back. It does get overwhelming and we want to give up, but when it comes down to it, we have no choise but to continue on. Some days it's just small baby steps, just getting out of bed. Everything you are going through is very normal. I am 8 months along this road and I still cry and scream.I still get so overwhelmed getting up to go to the bathroom is almost impossible. I get very angry at my son Kevin for leaving our family, it didn't need to happen, but he's gone anyway. Than there are the times we talk about some off the wall thing he did and laugh through our tears. Come back and share in any way you need to, we're here to listen and help where we can. Hugs and Prayers to you at this time. Kevin's Mom-Vivian

[acaringheart]

I know the feeling..Your not taking it too hard it hurts.I am feeling the same and I get so sad than I try think positive and it only lasts a while intill I am in tears again..This is hardest situation I have gone through in my life..

[debbie8800]

This is normal especially if she had addictions, other people feel guilty they did not do enough, in time you will heal.

So sorry for your loss and the emptiness is so hard to take, because that person was in our lives all of our lives.

I lost my mom 6 months ago i wstill cry, she was my best friend and the best mom in the world.

[blujonny]

I can understand that your emotions are extremely heightened at the moment. What you need most is a sense of control. It is not so much rationalizing what you are going through as much as acknowledging each specific emotion and its attachment to what you are going through. Rationalizing can sometimes lead to temporary comfort but to get real long lasting comfort I believe you need to be able to acknowledge the emotions you are going through, let them out in the open, really feel them and repeat the acknowledgment process until each extreme emotion begins to lessen in intensity. What you need is something tantamount to a child being hugged, listened to and acknowledged. An example would be letting yourself know you feel really vulnerable right now and then acknowledge what specifically makes you feel vulnerable. Then to say, that specific thing makes me feel vulnerable due to whatever reason surfaces at that moment in your mind. This process can go on in similar fashion while noticing if your tension is beginning to lessen at all.