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Loss of a Mother


boneca123

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I know how you feel. One of my best friends lost her grandmother unexpectedly 2 weeks ago (the night before Thanksgiving). I also lost my mother unexpectedly on New Years Eve last year (2007) so I was at a total loss for words when my friend called me crying hysterically. I felt like I was re-living my own experience and overwhelming sadness all over again. Eventually you both will be the best support system you each have. There will always be that shared understanding of how devastating it is to lose a mother. I feel stronger in what I am going through knowing that I can help someone help my friend overcome the same debilitating grief I am still enduring over the loss of a mother AND a father. I pray you both have strength and continue to provide support for one another. God bless.

K

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You typed the very words that have been on my mind since the beginning of November. HOlidays will never be the same without my mom. I feel like I have nowhere to go and anywhere that I try to go will never be what I desperately miss which is being my mother during a time when most people are enjoying their family. I too wish I could just go to sleep tonight and wake up next year!!

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nola2atl,

Thank you for the kind words, and you are right it does feel good that I am here to support him. I do understand your loss of both parents, my father passed a long time ago when I was just 19, it is hard to truly understand I have no parents here on earth! I do believe they are with me everyday watching over me! May you find a little comfort knowing yours are with you as well! 

Happy Holidays! 

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Yes the holidays... I have decided that things will change this year! I tried to put up my mom's christmas tree last night with my two children and just burst out in tears to find out there was no stand and we could not put it up!! Now it is just sitting in the corner!

Changing the way we did Thanksgiving helped out a lot I got through the day... I will get through Christmas but we are definately changing how everything was done before...

Stay strong, look what you have made it through already!!! That is something to be proud of!!!

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timesremembered

It doesn't even feel like the holidays without my mom here. I know my dad tries, but it isn't the holidays. I try to feel the Christmas spirit, and I can't. I used to love the holidays and all the stuff mom my and I did like make chex mix and wontons and decorate the tree.

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I hear you all! The holidays USED to be my favorite time of year. Now, I just try to "get through" them and find as much joy as possible, which is REALLY tough without Mom around anymore. She was the glue that held our family together ... our family matriarch. I have no spouse and no kids so am all alone, which makes the holidays even more pathetic for me! I will TRY and get to my sisters' houses for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but right now we're expecting 7-12 inches of SNOW here!! Ever since Mom died, I really prefer to NOT be "dreaming of a white Christmas" because that just means I'll be spending it alone because I won't be able to travel to be with my family. So, I'm dreaming of a DRY Christmas!!!

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I too,can't wait for the holidays to be over.People seem to forget that it's my first Christmas without my mom.Everyone at work seems to be complaing about how many family members they need to buy gifts for,when my family seems to just be getting smaller and smaller.It's just so depressing!!

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it doesnt feel like x mas to me either i lost my mom last year and i was always so mad and sad the only good thing is that i have met a guy who now lives with me and encourages me a lot i want to possibly marry him one day but for now am just taking it slow with him and learning about him and getting to know him more and more every day - when my mom died the rest of the family, well her family left and refuses to speak to me unless its to fight or harrass us or threaten me - my dad never had any family long story - so it has been sheer hell no matter what i say or do to make things better or to joke with the others as i call them nothing at all - all they want to do is fight or threaten me etc -- i guess that i am through with them all really -

they never really did act like family - still though it hurts so much to feel this way so alone and abandoned by them all in every way of the word -  the only thing that makes me happy is my guy and my little kitty i got from a local shelter - if you are real lonely go to the local shelter and get a pet - you will never regret it for a second

i just trust and pray to God to bring me thru this too - i dream of mom also and i know she is here with me too --

 

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Sheela-  One of my cats died 3months before my mom died,and my other cat very unexpectantly died 7weeks after my mom died.I felt like I was losing everything I loved.I have since adopted 2 kittens from the shelter,they give me a reason to wake up every morning!

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ah Butterfly -- HUGS

i am so sorry i would be devastated as well -- have you thought about going and getting a new one from the shelter ? i am sure you would give it a loving home

 

so many need a home and a chance

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I need to get a kitten, or a boyfriend, or SOMETHING!! This house is SOOO LONELY without Mom in it! We lived together my ENTIRE life. Dad died when I was just 13 and Mom died last year, so I am all alone. I'm just trying to hold it together financially right now and, although I would LOVE the cuddly companionship of a cute, little kitty -- I must admit that I AM afraid of the extra added expense! UGH!! Why can't life just be EASIER right now?? Haven't I already gone through enough??

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i hear ya - but you would be amazed at how cheap it is to take care of a cat - i am on very limited money each month myself yet i manage it - the food is cheap and the litter isnt to much either - thats all you have to worry about most cats dont sick often at all mine just over a head cold or allergies or something but  she got well on her own most will and do -  if you really want a pet go look into it at a shelter etc you may be surprised at what you find and at how cheap you find it -- good luck and hugs

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timesremembered

It doesn't feel like Christmas. I just want to sleep though the holiday. My mom's sister and her family stayed here for two days and it was hard to not cry, it reminded me of what I don't have.

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Christmas Day - To my dearest Mum and Dad - this is the second christmas without you both and I am still at a loss to believe that you are not here to share the joy and celebrations.  This year was lonely as I was home alone and had a few tears.  I have your photos on our christmas tree and know that your souls are with me.  I lack the joy of the celebrations of christmas but know that with time I will learn to live each day for the living and be sad later. Your grandchildren miss you both and wish you could still be apart of their lives.  I miss you both and thank you for being such wonderful parents. I hope to live up to your expectations. love you both now and forever - your darling daughter Gayle

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Guest cloudsaj

just wanted to say merry christmas to all.  and a merry christmas to my mom.  doesn't feel like its the second christmas without you.  i miss you so. 

hope everyone is having a good day. 

cloudsaj

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A co-worker gave me a plaque with this poem on it,just thought I would share it with all of you

  Merry Christmas From Heaven

  I still hear the songs I still see the lights

  I still feel your love on cold wintery nights

  I still share your hopes and all of your cares

  I'll even remind you to please say your prayers

  I just want to tell you you still make me proud

  You stand head and shoulders above all the crowd

  Keep trying each moment to stay in his grace

  I came here before you to help set your place

  You don't have to be perfect all of the time

  He forgives you the slip if you continue the climb

  To my family and friends please be thankful today

  I'm still close beside you in a new special way

  I love you all dearly now don't shed a tear

  Cause I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year

  By John Wim Mooney Jr.

 

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timesremembered

So my dad told me he is dating someone else...7 months after she passed. I'm not quite sure what to think of this. I'm a mess of emotions now. :/ I enjoyed Christmas with my mom's family I think I could feel here there and it calmed me. It was a very somber unlike the other Christmas's with comotion. I didn't mind. I don't know when I will see them again though, and it upsets me.

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timesremembered

I'm doing as best I can. It really hurts and he wanted me to meet her tonight but I refused. I wouldn't want to cry in front of them, because I knew I would. He told me basic stuff about her, but I don't know if I'll ever be okay okay with it.

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stephysteph13

yeah i can understand why u werent willing to meet her. my dad just recently got married dec 21st and it bothers me so much, and they werent even married when mymom died. its just another woman where my mom should be. how r u doing just w the mom thing alone?

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timesremembered

I'm not but my sister doesn't know, it's a complicated situation. She's pregnant and he doesn't want to tell her while she is..idk excatly so I have to keep it secret from my sister which is going to be pretty hard but it will be better if he tells her. I just don't know how to feel at all.

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timesremembered

It was diffrent. I kind of walked though it, I think. Christmas isn't Christmas any more, it felt like a day with gifts and food. Thanks, I'm here for you also.

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Saturday December 20th 2008 started out like any other pre-holiday weekend.  I got up early to start making my shopping list.  Mom wanted a different dessert and she got me to agree to add another dish to my ever-growing list.  I had to smile and feel a little proud that she liked my cooking so much.  The phone rings and my husband answers.  I heard him say "oh no" and I just knew.  I knew by the look on his face.  My mother was gone.  Suddenly, without warning, she went to sleep and never woke up.  My dad had sat alone in the house for 6 hours before calling us.  A storm had knocked out power and he was alone in the dark and cold.

I can't believe my mom is gone.  She could be difficult to get along with.  She was a complex woman with complex problems but I love her with all my heart.

I don't know where I am in the grief.  Sometimes it dawns on me I'll never be able to have a 5 minute chat with her just to see how's she's doing.  I'll never eat her stuffing again.  I'll never hear her tell me how proud of me she is.  If I have a child, she won't be able to meet them, hold them and spoil them.  I won't hear the same stories of my childhood over and over again.  Sometimes I just can't believe she's gone and the pain sears like a hot knife.

At the same time, I don't have to hear about her physical and mental pain.  The issues I couldn't fix and the issues that haunted her every day of her life.

The selfish part of me wants her back wtih all her pain and torment.  The other part of me feels she's in a happy place finally.  But the biggest part of me just feels sadness and lonliness. 

I love you Mom and I will honor your memory for as long as I live.

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Well it is a new year! I can't believe I made it through the last! I wish all of you a better year in 2009! I don't usually do the whole resolution thing, but this year I really want to think of all the happy and goofy times I had with my mom, more smiles instead of tears! She knows how much I miss her!

Best wishes for the new year!!!!

Debbie 

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Another cold, lonely, winter day in Chicago without Mom ... Oh, how I MISS her warm hugs on days like this! My stupid sciatic is acting up again; she used to let me lay on the couch, then rub my lower back with BenGay, and go make me a nice, warm dinner. Now, I'm all on my own ... and I HURT!!! Physically AND emotionally ...

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Mrsute - Just read your post and wanted to send you cyberspace hugs ((((())))).  The sudden loss of a loved one is hard - as is any loss - but the sudden part to me brings out such different feelings that have to be dealt with.  I lost my mom to a car accident.  My heart goes out to you as you have just begun a journey that no matter now many people travel, each has a different experience.  These boards were the one place I found where I could put down my feelings without fear of judgement and no pretend smile on my face so others wouldn't feel bad.  As you travel, please take time to breathe and take care of yourself.

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Hello,

I am new here. My mother died on November 16, 2008. Now that the initial shock has worn off and the distraction of the holidays is over, I am really struggling. I just miss her so much.

I have a 5 month old baby, her first grandson. It is so hard seeing all of his "firsts" and not being able to share them with her. He was three months old when he lost his Grammy. She would have been a wonderful grandmother, and would have spoiled him over the holidays as only a grandmother can.

Having a new baby is keeping me busy, which is both good and bad. I am overwhelmed with grief, but with no time to actually grieve.

Anyway...just thought I'd reach out to others who understand.

Jackie

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Jackiej - You've found a wonderful place to try to come to terms with all the emotions of lossing a mom.   Glad you found it - but so very sorry that you need a place such as this (hope that makes some sense).  You baby can be such a wonderful distraction from the weight of loss as you say, but also such a reminder of all that your mom will be missing.  Try to take this journey at your own pace and do what feels best for you as many others seem to give us directions without ever having been here.  Do take care of yourself and BREATHE!

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Lifes 1K In case you did not know - there is a site just below this area called birthday remembrance  - good place to write happy memories - take care - Gayle

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Thanks Gayle,

I did see it... loved the picture you posted... I just could not write anything happy memories have been hard to come by lately... hopefully I will be able to remember some soon.

 

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Posted: Sat Feb 21st, 2009 04:02 pm

 

Hi all,

 

I am brand new here.  I just read two pages of posts and decided to join in because I connected with everything you've written.  Thank you.  My sympathy goes out to all of you who have lost your moms and other loved ones.

 

 

My Mom, who was my best friend,  passed away right before Christmas of 2005.  We held her memorial December 23 and that Christmas day, I either laid on the couch, or just slept.  We didn't even put up a tree or exchange gifts.  It was horrible, and most of it was due to my non-participation, self-pity, and zero energy.

 

 

Although my two sons spent most of that day with their girlfriends' families, I still felt guilty about not "doing up" Christmas.   We'd all grown accustomed to being out of town at Christmas time, since my daughter's death from breast cancer in October, 2003.  We had tried celebrating that first Christmas after her death with a  tree, presents, and dinner, etc., however we all knew in our hearts we were just acting as if, trying to get through the day.  It was more agonizing for us, I think, because we tried too hard to have a "normal" Christmas, thinking it would help make us feel better.

 

 

I had lost the two most important women in my life within two years of each other and became clinically depressed.  I didn't feel like celebrating events or doing anything productive anymore.  About the only thing I did was self-medicate, thinking it would help with the emotional pain.  Instead I became addicted, and remained full of self-pity.  Although it was a very lonely place to be, it remained my comfort zone for many months.

 

 

Grief is a personal thing.   I  eventually forgave those people who had told me to "Get over it, snap out of it, quit talking about it..." along with other phrases I just didn't equate with at the time.  

One neighbor actually let herself into our home Christmas day with a plate of cookies at a time when my husband and I were crying together in the basement.  The neighbor found us and began to rant in a loud voice, "Snap out of it!  You're lucky to have this nice home!  Look around at what you have!"  I was so absolutely dumbfounded that someone would say  that just two months after my daughter died, all I could muster was a  quiet thanks for the cookies with a hand pointed to the door.  Like having a nice home is a  consolation for losing a child. 

 

 

Or how about "She's in a better place."  while I'm thinking,"Oh yeah?   How do you know?  Did you travel there and see it??"  While all these people had good intentions at heart,  I didn't seem to think so at the time.  I also discovered the people who truly understand, are the ones who have been there themselves.  And sometimes just a quiet hug can help more than words.  Thankfully I had a couple female friends who'd lost children, and talking with them did help. 

 

 

 

I continued on my road of wallowing in a pill and self-pity combo, until a year and a half after Mom died. Some loving friends banded together and strongly recommended aka insisted  I get help with both my grief and addiction.....or else.  They were right;  I had to make a choice to either keep living with death and sorrow or get on with the business of life.  Plus I had been doing my husband, sons, family and friends a terrible disservice by being emotionally absent.

 

 

 

 I knew in my heart of hearts that professional help was the only way, but I had been  afraid for so long about going through detox and withdrawal from the drugs I was taking. 

 

 

 

 As embarrassed as I was, I did it -  one of the best decisions I had ever  made.  I truly believe there are no coincidences, and while in treatment, I processed my grief with a therapist who'd lost his daughter and mother.  I considered that to be divine intervention.

 

As a result of taking those healing steps, I got the real me back, and my family was tight  again.   I began to honor my daughter and mother's lives, and I feel fortunate to have had them for as many years as I did.  I try to live in a manner they would want me to.  I carry them always in my heart and  have simple remembrances of them daily - when I hear a certain song, smell a familiar fragrance, see people who resemble them, feel a warm wind blow through me - lovely reminders that they are now part of the Collective Soul of the Universe.  All this gives me great comfort.

 

 

Last Christmas we celebrated at home for the first time in several years.  It was wonderful!  We laughed a lot, took silly photos, and stayed in our PJs most of the day.  However, I received my best Christmas gift that night, when out of the blue, my 22 year old son gave me a tight hug,  and his older brother joined him.

I asked, "What was THAT for?"  My younger son responded, "Thank you, Mom, for bringing Christmas back into this house."  while his brother nodded in agreement.  That alone made everything worthwhile.

 

 

Although I know I will never "get over" my Mom and daughter's  deaths, my life has certainly gotten a lot better in every aspect, when I made a concerted effort to move on.  What was once an open wound  has healed into a scar, meaning it doesn't hurt as much as it used to.  Remember that old adage "Time heals all wounds"?  That's been true for me.

 

 

We were all born with the God-given right to be happy and free.  That includes our parents if they end up finding another companion after losing their spouse.  My Dad ended up marrying someone and at first I was resentful ("what about ME??") until I realized that naturally my father has the right to be happy again.  My son-in-law, a widower at age 27  found someone after my daughter died and he's now happy again too.  He'll remain  my son-in-law for life. It's not my job to deny someone else their joy, especially when I know my own happiness must come from within me.

 

 

I heard a good one not too long ago:

 

"It's not that God doesn't give us any more than we can handle,

  It's  that God helps us handle what we are given."

 

This is a wonderful forum and I'm glad I found you all. Thank you if you've read this.  I'll continue to read your posts.

 

Peace~

Jennifer

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Hi everyone,

I am new here. Just wanted to say that tomorrow (2-22-09) is the 1 month anniversary of my mom's death. Her death is extremely hard for me because it was sudden and tragic. It was also my fault! I am in so much pain. On Jan 22, 2009 my mom and I were involved in a rollover car accident and she died. The accident itself was not that bad. I only had one tiny scratch on my wrist and she had one tiny scratch on her knee (according to the Medical examiners office and funeral director). But she died from being choked by the seat belt. I am just extremely sad about this whole thing. I think that I was also in shock for the past 4 weeks and just now starting to realize that she is truly dead and not coming back. This is so painful and I cannot believe that I accidently killed my "best friend" my mom. I am an only child and this is truly so sad for me. I started counseling last week, so I hope that in some way that will help. But it will not bring my mom back to me!

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Firstly, my heart goes out to you as I feel your hurt and grief.  I lost both of my parents as a result of a car accident - My father was responsible for the accident that took his life and the massive injuries suffered by my mum. I still feel the pain of having to turn off my beloved mother's life support some hrs after the accident.  I have learnt through many counselling sessions that accidents can just happen and that things are just meant to be.  I would give anything to have my parents returned to me. I also blame myself for not being more forcefull that day by convincing them not to drive on such a terrible rainy day. Grief is such a strange beast, it creaps up on you without notice or remorse.  For me it will be 2 years in March this year and its only now that I have some normality in my life.  I admit that I was a wreck for many months and medication and counselling was my saviour.  I also have a wonderful husband and group of friends to support me.  I hope that you can find some support to help you through this terrible journey that you will face.  We all react differently to our loss(s) and no one can say "I know how you feel" Let your grief ride its journey as you have lost someone that has been extremely close to you.  I can recommend the book by Alison Duboir  "we are their heaven" it has given me some peace and I know that my parents are around me when I need them.  Grief will go through various stages albeit all at once on the same day.  Be kind to youself, afterall you to have been in a serious car accident and have no doubt suffered post traumatic stress.  Take each day as it comes and just concentrate on getting though each hurdle. Beyond Indigo has been my rock = Sometimes I write postings  - other times I just read the postings from many.  Use the site freely to vent whatever you want to say - we are not judgemental, but can offer support and love - Take care - Gayle (Australia)

[user=27571]imanisworld[/user] wrote:

Hi everyone,

I am new here. Just wanted to say that tomorrow (2-22-09) is the 1 month anniversary of my mom's death. Her death is extremely hard for me because it was sudden and tragic. It was also my fault! I am in so much pain. On Jan 22, 2009 my mom and I were involved in a rollover car accident and she died. The accident itself was not that bad. I only had one tiny scratch on my wrist and she had one tiny scratch on her knee (according to the Medical examiners office and funeral director). But she died from being choked by the seat belt. I am just extremely sad about this whole thing. I think that I was also in shock for the past 4 weeks and just now starting to realize that she is truly dead and not coming back. This is so painful and I cannot believe that I accidently killed my "best friend" my mom. I am an only child and this is truly so sad for me. I started counseling last week, so I hope that in some way that will help. But it will not bring my mom back to me!

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This is in reply to Jenniferc post - I just got the chance to read your post and wanted to let you know that I appreciated your sharing your experience with loss.  My heart goes out to you.  I haven't endured the losses you have, I haven't lost a child, but my mom was killed in a car accident Sept of 2005 (same year as your loss)  and part of your story touched me - in that I too lost my spirit of celebrating Christmas.  To read that you were able to do that again, and the lovely response of your sons, gives me hope that the joy of Christmas will return to me.  These boards continue to be a place to come to in times of loneliness.  It is here that I see how so many others have traveled this road and it continues to be a place of comfort. 

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I am so very sorry for your loss. It is in no way your fault, it was an accident. You may not see that now, but I hope that one day you will be able to find peace. I too am an only child and it is coming up on one year since I lost my Mother. It does get easier, but it takes a long time. Again, I am so sorry. If you ever want to email me my address is sarahwavada@aol.com

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Thanks so much Sarah. I think that you can have your log in and password emailed to you if you click on "forgot password or forgot login". Again thanks so much for your kind words. I have been thinking a lot about stuff since my mom died. Let me pose a question to this board! This is especially for people who have children. I don't have any children yet, but my Great grandmother years ago when she was alive said that there is no pain like that of losing a child. I have now lost my mom and I think this is worse than losing a child. I say that because we have always lived our lives with our mother's being in our lives, people have not always had their children in their lives. I think that if I have known life without someone, it would be a tragedy to not have them in my life, but it is something that I would know how to navigate life without. But with the lose of my mother it is harder because I have never known life without her. Just curious as to what you all think!

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jenniferc,

How hopeful and refreshing your post was! My heart goes out to you, you have endured a lot in your life. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! Now in my 30's I have lost both parents, my mom most recently 9 months ago, I have always had faith that I will again be "me" but you are proof that it actually happens. Thank you!

 

imanisworld,

You should be proud of yourself for seeking help already! Yes 4 weeks of coarse you are still in shock, the feelings you are having are very "normal" (if there is such a thing) and soon you will see it is just the beginning of your personal journey with grief. We all have such an individual experience as I am sure you have already seen by reading, but please understand you are not alone and I have found it helpful on those rough days just to vent here.

As for your question I am sure you will get very different answers because I believe it depends on what stage of life you are in! Although losing my parents was hard, in the life cycle my belief is they should pass on before me versus my children. Both of my parents have very difficult death's as my father suffered from MS and my mother suffered from lung cancer so with some aspect I would say I felt some relief knowing they were not in pain any longer. Any loss is difficult but I hope I go before my children!    

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Guest haikel4

I know exactly how you all feel.  I just lost my mom 1 month ago to complications from cancer and I am still a basketcase!  I can't foresee it ever getting easier.  I have a 4 year old daughter and just think she got cheated.  She will never truly know what an amazing, strong, beautiful person her grandmother truly was.  I am going to do my best though to ensure that she does.  I, to this day, feel that I got cheated as well with the loss of my mom as well as my grandmother.  My mom's mom died when I was in 1st grade.  I never really got to know her-my mom talked about her a lot so it felt like I knew her I guess.  Throughout my mom's illness, I prayed she would get to see my daughter and possibly (another child of ours-we have some issues conceiving and maintaining pregnancy) grow up etc.  now she won't.  My mom was the strongest person I have ever known.  She was my best friend and now that she's gone I feel so lost without her.  I don't know who I am anymore.  I am someone with great faith-however, now going through this, I have my doubts.  I want to believe there is an afterlife and that she is always around me but I don't know that for sure.  I will never know that for sure.  I dream about her but I just need a clear sign that she is o.k. and that she is still here around me just in a different way.  I just miss her so much.  I can relate to what some of you have said about thinking about the good memories-people say that they will help you get through-no they don't!  They make me miss her more.  They make me sad b/c I don't get to make anymore good memories with her-I don't know how I will ever get through this-I know that I have to but I just don't know how.  I wish she would come to me just one more time and give me that closure that I need to move on.

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haikel4-I can really relate to your post.It will be 9months soon since my mom died.When she died I was into my second year of infertility treatments-needless to say,it didn't work.Now I don't even want to try for a baby anymore,the pain of ever getting pregnant now and not having my mom here,is something I can't imagine-she wanted to be a grandma soo bad.I too,feel that all the memories of my mom just break my heart now,I still can't believe I will never get to spend time with her again.Believing in an afterlife is something I wish I had no doubts about,but sometimes it just seems so much like believing in a fairy tale.I do have to say that for a few months after my mom died,I felt like I got some signs from her,weird things would happen,but maybe they were just coincidences,but try to be open to the little signs(someitmes big signs)your mom might give you.

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[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align][align=center] [/align][align=center] [/align][align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

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[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

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[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

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[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

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[user=9983][align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA[/user]

President

Beyond Indigo

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[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

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[user=27571]imanisworld[/user] wrote:

This is especially for people who have children. I don't have any children yet, but my Great grandmother years ago when she was alive said that there is no pain like that of losing a child. I have now lost my mom and I think this is worse than losing a child. I say that because we have always lived our lives with our mother's being in our lives, people have not always had their children in their lives. I think that if I have known life without someone, it would be a tragedy to not have them in my life, but it is something that I would know how to navigate life without. But with the lose of my mother it is harder because I have never known life without her. Just curious as to what you all think!

I read this and thought long and hard before I posted. I had moved from home at 17 to pursue a career in nursing so I guess while my parents were in my life distance and circumstance altered our dynamic.

I have lost both parents.  I lost my dad to heart problems when I was 25.  Back then I had babies and the pain I felt losing what was essentially my best friend was indescribable.

My mother lost a grandchild (15yrs) to cystic fibrosis in 2001.  The fracturing of her spirit,a soul encased in such pain altered her forever.  She succumbed to alzheimers and pneumonia some 5yrs later. After she passed the thought I was now an adult orphans hit me. 

Losing my parents signalled the passing of those who had known me all my life. They were keepers of our family history, now gone.  It was however, the order of things.  Parents die before their children.  My parents gave me life skills & strengths to be able to navigate my life seperate from them and for that I thank them.

2007 saw me lose my eldest son. There was nothing I had experienced in my life that could help me navigate this life experience. Nothing before or since has come close to depth of this loss.  Mike was a part of me.  My first born, they say lucky to have survived such an inexperienced mum.  It never entered my thinking that a child of mine would die before me........

While I am sorry for your loss and appreciate the pain your feel, I have to agree with your Great Grandmother  there is no pain like that of losing a child.  Perhaps she spoke from experience.

Take Care - Trudi

 

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