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a loss long ago


jewels68

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I am completely new to this site and a friend suggested I try to find somewhere to talk about the loss of my mother which will be 22 years this year in July. I am still having such a hard time and need to figure out how to get past this. Any suggestions?

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I wanted to add that I lost my Mom when I was just 21. My mother had undergone a heart transplant at UCLA in April of 1990 by the end of June this had progressively gone downhill in her recovery. By July 5th she was gone forever! I was in the hospital room with her when she passed and before it was over she had bled out. All I could do was hold her hand and whisper in her ear that I loved her, over and over. I dont remember the drive home but I do remember going into my bathroom, looking into the mirror and realizing I had my mothers blood all over my clothing. From there it is history! I have four bad months a year, every year. April the month of her birthday, July the month of her death, November for Thanksgiving (which was always special at my Moms) and December for Christmas (which was always a big event with my Mom). My heart still aches, the pain is still there! I just dont know how to figure this out!

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