I am empty

[alyssalove]

I am empty. I lost my 22 year old brother who was my best friend, role model, and the most amazing person I knew. He was exactly what anyone would nana in an older brother and was taken away. Everyone is grieving so normally and the way they should be but me, I feel nothing. I am numb. Nothing in this world scares me. I'm no longer afraid of death, I'm no longer afraid to explode on people, I'm just absolutely numb. I can't even cry. I am empty without him and I have no clue how to feel the impact of this. I feel nothing. He is supposed to walk through that front door every night. I'm 19 years old and I feel nothing inside of me. It's as if the day he died, my soul and insides died too. I am a zombie. I am empty. He was my only sibling. I am now an only child. An empty broken numb only child.

[vivkib]

alyssalove, I am so sorry for your loss. Lossing someone we love is very hard. I lost my son Kevin 5 1/2 months ago. There is no normal way to grieve, we all do it different. What you are going through is what YOU need to go through to grieve your brother. In time the numbness will retreat. I'm not saying it'll get better cause, to be honest, it won't. There is so much we go through on this path, but in time you will be able to smile and laugh again. He will always be part of you and you will find a way to your new normal. Give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourself. Hugs and prayers as you walk this new path. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

[gag031958]

Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry. I understand how you feel. And you are young, and so is your brother. This is not something you should have to deal with. I used to be unable to cry at the "appropriate" times. But I would start to cry at some I Love Lucy show. And then I would cry, and cry, and let it out. Don't think there is anything wrong with you because you feel empty. I feel empty from losing my own brother at age 51. I am 54 and he was my baby brother. What I do know from experience, is there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You just have to pull your self together as best you can and live. You have your whole life ahead of you. When you feel stronger--and you will, live for you and for your brother.

[hcastro]

Allyss I too loss my beloved brother very recently.

I joined this forum because I thought it would help me vent. You are not alone, neither in your pain, nor in your life.

I too feel in great denial, I too feel part of me is gone, I too am not sure how to grief, but deep inside I know there is more to life than the pain of death. I know that while I cannot see my brother with my physical eyes, I will still see him one day.

Take heart cherish your memories with your beloved brother and know that death cannot truly separate you from him. I really pray God will give you the strenght to go thru this in a way that will be good and positive.

God bless you and love you. Be in peace.

H

[vivkib]

H, I am so sorry for your loss. Sorry you had a need to find us but glad you are here. You all will find an understanding here like no other place because we are all on this path together. Some have gone before us and some follow but we all understand and try to help each other. Please come back often and talk as much as you need, we are hear to listen. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

[darlparker]

I lost my brother recent and I feel a lot of anger! My brother. And I were born in the same year. We use to be close and always had a special bond. Before. he. Died. We were. Getting close again, and. I thank GOD. for. this. But know I feel. so. mad that. He was taken from me. My heart heart aches so much and I cry a lot and I want to be with him. I lost my sister. Last year, I don't. know how. to get pass this. And I feel sad for anyone going thur this:(