my fiance announces he is going to a party hours after i find out my uncle died

[shetechnic]

hi

i didnt know who to turn to as i didnt want to involve anyone with a biased opinion.

this morning i found out i lost my uncle that i was very close to and i had to be driven home from work by my fiance. this was just 4 hours ago i got home to try to piece myself together and not even an hour ago my fiance announced, after talking on the phone with his friend, that he is going out to his friends party tonight. right now the only person i want around is him as i have no family here where i live and i dont fly out till tomorrow morning.

i dont know how to take this at all. i dont understand this action at all. im just looking for some opinions on this or if you have gone through anything like this. ive just stopped crying rright before he came and told me his plans and i dont have the energy to argue the etiquette of being there for the person your with in the worst times like this and then i think... maybe its just because he really doesnt care as much as i do?

please help as this is making my worst day a million times even worse

[widower2]

Quite frankly I would think long and hard about whether you really want to marry this guy. This looks to me like a BIG warning flag. You just lost someone close to you, you're distraught, and sounds like he basically just went "whatever, I'm going to party." Are you kidding me? I would not walk but run from this uncaring person. If he really loves you, he would be there for you, esp when you are in such a state. THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS ABOUT. Clearly he doesn't get this and has a hell of a lot of growing up to do and I question how much he really cares. If you marry him, you can expect more of the same - for the rest of your life. I hope I'm wrong but that's how it looks to me.

Sorry, just IMO.

[Leftie46]

Dump this guy. If he doesn't have the sensitivity to understand you need him now, then he will be a million times worse when you have children with him. Get out while you can.

I hope you're OK.

hi

i didnt know who to turn to as i didnt want to involve anyone with a biased opinion.

this morning i found out i lost my uncle that i was very close to and i had to be driven home from work by my fiance. this was just 4 hours ago i got home to try to piece myself together and not even an hour ago my fiance announced, after talking on the phone with his friend, that he is going out to his friends party tonight. right now the only person i want around is him as i have no family here where i live and i dont fly out till tomorrow morning.

i dont know how to take this at all. i dont understand this action at all. im just looking for some opinions on this or if you have gone through anything like this. ive just stopped crying rright before he came and told me his plans and i dont have the energy to argue the etiquette of being there for the person your with in the worst times like this and then i think... maybe its just because he really doesnt care as much as i do?

please help as this is making my worst day a million times even worse

[BreathofAngel]

hi

i didnt know who to turn to as i didnt want to involve anyone with a biased opinion.

this morning i found out i lost my uncle that i was very close to and i had to be driven home from work by my fiance. this was just 4 hours ago i got home to try to piece myself together and not even an hour ago my fiance announced, after talking on the phone with his friend, that he is going out to his friends party tonight. right now the only person i want around is him as i have no family here where i live and i dont fly out till tomorrow morning.

i dont know how to take this at all. i dont understand this action at all. im just looking for some opinions on this or if you have gone through anything like this. ive just stopped crying rright before he came and told me his plans and i dont have the energy to argue the etiquette of being there for the person your with in the worst times like this and then i think... maybe its just because he really doesnt care as much as i do?

please help as this is making my worst day a million times even worse

Dear Shetechnic, Even though this has happened in the not-so-distant past, I know it may still be something that you may be thinking about and that may continue to bother you. It is most unfortunate that he had to act this way when you were in obvious mourning. This showed his insensitivity at its worse.

Perhaps this was a wake-up call as to how things might go after you officially get hitched? Could you expect to see this same kind of reaction once you are officially married? Would he continue to be insensitive towards important matters such as these? That remains to be seen but in the meantime it is plain to see that you have suffered from this experience and I want to give you a (((((hug))))) for what you have been put through.

May God bless you and keep you in His comfort!