That "people are sick of me" feeling

[brencot74]

I have Cystic Fibrosis, Autoimmune disease that attacks my joints. Hypothyroidism, I need surgical repair of my pelvic organs and a hysterectomy. Over the past year I have had irreversible neurosensory hearing loss, and the nerve damage also affected my taste. My mother had breast cancer and now there is a lump in my breast. I know this sounds incredibly impossible, but there it all is. My fiance and kids are great, but I know they are sick of all this .. hospitals, medications, breathing treatments... I have no other family, my daughter is in Michigan with my mother and they dont talk to me. Even on Thanksgiving, I didnt even get a phone call. I feel like I am already gone. I volunteer at the local soup kitchen and try to act happy all the time. but mostly I just feel like ending it. I cant even get counseling because my insurance only covers so much, and being on disability Im on a limited budget. I used to be a big shot in the medical field for 10 years. Now I'm nothing. I just do not matter. Thanks for reading. I just wanted to let it out somewhere where no one knows me. I have to be happy for the people around me.

[ModKonnie]

I have Cystic Fibrosis, Autoimmune disease that attacks my joints. Hypothyroidism, I need surgical repair of my pelvic organs and a hysterectomy. Over the past year I have had irreversible neurosensory hearing loss, and the nerve damage also affected my taste. My mother had breast cancer and now there is a lump in my breast. I know this sounds incredibly impossible, but there it all is. My fiance and kids are great, but I know they are sick of all this .. hospitals, medications, breathing treatments... I have no other family, my daughter is in Michigan with my mother and they dont talk to me. Even on Thanksgiving, I didnt even get a phone call. I feel like I am already gone. I volunteer at the local soup kitchen and try to act happy all the time. but mostly I just feel like ending it. I cant even get counseling because my insurance only covers so much, and being on disability Im on a limited budget. I used to be a big shot in the medical field for 10 years. Now I'm nothing. I just do not matter. Thanks for reading. I just wanted to let it out somewhere where no one knows me. I have to be happy for the people around me.

Brencot,

I am sorry you are feeling so down and out.I have an idea that may help you and allow you to help others. You were a big shot in the medical field for 10 years--right? Well, can you use your experience and knowledge and start a self-help group for others that cannot afford counseling? It may be a great way to get yourself some help, help others and feel like you are contributing again. Have the group at your home; I'm sure the local newspaper will advertise it for free. You may start out with one other person, but then again, you may start out with dozens who could use your help.

Your family may just be overwhelmed with the severity of your situation and may not know how to respond anymore. Do you reach out to talk to them?

I think it is great that you volunteer in a soup kitchen. How awesome of you to think of others during this difficult time for you.

You can come here to share your feelings and talk about your issues. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie