14 Days have passed Pain unbearable

[Mrs D]

I lost my husband to a fatal heart attack 14 days ago and he was only 50 I am now a 40 year old widow. The pain and loss is soul destroyinh nothing works without him we where joined at the hip for 20 years how do I cope day to day. please help me x

[jrb50]

im so sorry for your loss.. best advice right now is just breathe in and out.. minute to minute and i can tell you that the pain doesnt go away.. but becomes more bearable, or we get stronger every minute of every day. make sure you have someone around for you whenever you need them... and cry.. do whatever you need to do...

my pastor told me that it hurts this bad because you loved so deeply.. so if it wasnt real.. it wouldnt hurt so bad. That was all i had to hold onto when it was still fresh. maybe those words will help you now. and ... Hes around you.. its just hard to see right now.. love never dies.

hugs to you

debra

[dan4jesus]

I lost my husband to a fatal heart attack 14 days ago and he was only 50 I am now a 40 year old widow. The pain and loss is soul destroyinh nothing works without him we where joined at the hip for 20 years how do I cope day to day. please help me x

I can't say that I know what to do...but I can say that you are not alone. I am almost 35 and my wife of nearly 13 years passed suddenly on Oct 9...just about 2 weeks ago. So I am right there with you. I don't know what to do, how to do it, when to do it....We also have a small child age 6 and a 16 year old. I will pray for you. Maybe we could chat sometime.

Daniel

[lots of love]

Hi,I lost my Loving Husband 2months and its hard very hard to live on sometime I am angry with my self that I am living HOW is it possible ,people say time is a healer but i dont think so every day I am missing him more and more very Uncertain he is Gone but Certain Forever,not never,I miss him

[Willow24]

Hello Mrs D,

I would love to tell you that it gets better, easier...but it doesn't . On May 25th of this year my fiance of 11 yrs (my entire adult life) passed. He went to sleep and just never woke up. He also had a heart attack, he was only 31 yrs old. He didn't have a history of heart problems. I'm not sure which is worse - losing my fiance or losing my best friend. Nobody around me knows what to say, so they just don't say anything. Everyday I think why him and not me, he was so happy go lucky and just loved being alive more then anyone I've known. It doesn't make sense and It's not fair. It's still not real to me. I try to keep my mind busy because thinking is dangerous.Everything reminds me of him and right now I don't want to be reminded. My friend's fiance asked me "How do you deal with this? I would go crazy.". I said "Well I don't have a choice.". Nobody understands unless they've been through it. You change. So here's where I'm supposed to say something wise and inspirational to you.........................................................................................................

I don't yet know the secret to making the pain subside.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me, I guess I was just trying to connect with someone.

Feel free to pm me Mrs D or anyone else who is reading this and wants to just talk. Take care.

[dmschnei]

I just got home from work and walmart as i stopped on the way home... As i sit here and read this thread, i still ask the same questions? Why him and not me? I am now a 38yr old widow.. Who would have thought this is too young to be a widow for sure. We just got married May14th and now he didn't even make our 5 month anniversary.. You are correct as in time to think is dangerous. All night i have been thinking while at work, and i kept wiping the tears away, so no one would see me crying... No one can understand unless they have lost a spouse... It is very hurtful pain! Ever since Dennis passed, I cry and cry and i have cried soo much that i can actually feel my heart hurt. I did lose my husband and best friend and I am just trying to figure out how to go on to the next day.. Just know, you are not alone, as alot of us do know that pain... Take Care....

Dawn

P.S. Feel free to email or msg me.....

[carayp]

I just got home from work and walmart as i stopped on the way home... As i sit here and read this thread, i still ask the same questions? Why him and not me? I am now a 38yr old widow.. Who would have thought this is too young to be a widow for sure. We just got married May14th and now he didn't even make our 5 month anniversary.. You are correct as in time to think is dangerous. All night i have been thinking while at work, and i kept wiping the tears away, so no one would see me crying... No one can understand unless they have lost a spouse... It is very hurtful pain! Ever since Dennis passed, I cry and cry and i have cried soo much that i can actually feel my heart hurt. I did lose my husband and best friend and I am just trying to figure out how to go on to the next day.. Just know, you are not alone, as alot of us do know that pain... Take Care....

Dawn

P.S. Feel free to email or msg me.....

Hello, I know what you are feeling. I lost my husband of 48 yrs, 4yrs ago on the 22nd of this month. Not a day goes by that I don't grieve for him. The first year was hell, I did not think I could get through it. I depended on my family and friends to help me. I also tried to remember the good times, (which were most of the time), and the funny things he did to make me laugh. He was my best friend as well as my husband. This year seems to be especially hard for me. You will never forget, and when someone tells you that time will help you get over it, it's not true. You will never get over it and you don't want to. You will only learn to live through it and go on with your life. You are young and there really are better times and lots more to do. You have a full life ahead and he would want you to take advantage of it. We both know that life is short, grab it while you can. Good Luck! My thoughts are with you. You will be fine!

Carla

[Luray]

My partner of 10 years died two weeks ago tonight, after a two-year battle with pancreatic cancer. I miss him like crazy. I'm still on leave from work, and one of the reasons I've delayed going back is because I can't imagine coming home after a long day ... to an empty house. No one waiting on the front porch for me, no one rushing to open the door. It's so overwhelming. The loss and emptiness sometimes hits me broadside, and then subsides. Then the wave comes again. In between, I'm still numb.

I think we all have the same questions. Why him? Why now? Why not two or three years from now? Why has my 88-year-old uncle survived pancreatic cancer, but my 49-year-old husband did not?

My cousin, whose husband died a month ago at age 52 of a heart attack, said she has "had it out with God", and has begun to accept her husband's death. Not that we really have any choice. Maybe we have to get angry in order to find some peace? I don't know. I don't know who to be angry at. But I know I can't be angry, or overwhelmed, or numb, or empty if I'm to rebuild my life.

I'm lucky that I have several friends my age that are widowed, and they do know how I feel. Their advice to me was to take things slowly, don't do anything I don't want to do if I can avoid it (work, paying bills and feeding the cats notwithstanding, I guess; he'd never forgive me if I didn't take care of the kitties!), get plenty of sleep, good food and exercise, and lean on my friends and family. It's been hard since my mom and sister went home, and I hate feeling needy, especially with my friends, who have their own problems. I guess I can spread the love, so to speak and call a different friend every night.

If I've rambled, do forgive me. I hope something makes sense ...