Its been 2 months

[rainy26]

I still have his ashes in a box, ive been dealing with the VA who will pay for his urn and everything but its just taking forever. i was his caregiver the last 3 years of his life and i hated it but wouldnt change any of that now. im still so sad i just wish id gone with him.

[tmeredith]

I am so sorry you lost your dad. Losing a parent is so hard and leaves such a big hole in your heart. I too cared for my mom for a time when her illness advanced and though it was difficult, as you said, I too wouldn't change anything. I am grateful for the time we had. I also think that somehow having focused so much of my life on my mom towards the end causes her absence to be even more painful for me. I too sometimes wonder if she was not the lucky one going on to what I believe is a better place and I am thankful she is now whole and no longer suffering. Grief is a difficult journey and I am sorry you are having to go through all the sadness, emptiness and difficulty the journey brings. I am not yet at a place of acceptance yet but believe I will be. I come here and tell my story and day to day experiences with grief and that seems to help. Please keep posting if you think it is helpful. I wish you comfort and peace. I believe our loved ones are glad we are still here and are watching over us. I believe I must still have work to do here. I have a family to watch over and will honor my mom by trying to be the best mother I can be. I am sure your father wants you to have peace and it grateful for all you have done for him and wants you to in your own time find happiness and joy again. I believe you will be together again. I am sorry for you pain. Take it easy and allow grief to take it's course while gently trying to move forward. I have tried to rush through grief only to find that it is not possible to do so. We have suffered a big loss and it takes time to get over such a large change in our lives. Take care ~Terra