Thoughts on the nature of Grief

[pamdora]

I read this now on the net and thought I'd share it with everyone. If you need to share this with others who do not understand your grief, then perhaps this might help them realize what they should NOT be doing to you.

The better your understanding of grief and how it is healed, the better equipped you’ll be to help a bereaved friend or family member:

• There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Grief does not alwaysunfold in orderly, predictable stages. It can be an emotional rollercoaster, with unpredictable highs, lows, and setbacks. Everyone grieves differently, so avoid telling the bereaved what they “should” be feeling or doing.
• Grief may involve extreme emotions and behaviors. Feelings of guilt, anger, despair, and fear are common. A grieving person may yell to the heavens, obsess about the death, lash out at loved ones, or cry for hours on end. The bereaved need reassurance that what they’re feeling is normal. Don’t judge them or take their grief reactions personally.
• There is no set timetable for grieving. For many people, recovery after bereavement takes 18 to 24 months, but for others, the grieving process may be longer or shorter. Don’t pressure the bereaved to move on or make them feel like they’ve been grieving too long. This can actually slow their healing.

[ModKonnie]

I read this now on the net and thought I'd share it with everyone. If you need to share this with others who do not understand your grief, then perhaps this might help them realize what they should NOT be doing to you.

The better your understanding of grief and how it is healed, the better equipped you’ll be to help a bereaved friend or family member:

• There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Grief does not alwaysunfold in orderly, predictable stages. It can be an emotional rollercoaster, with unpredictable highs, lows, and setbacks. Everyone grieves differently, so avoid telling the bereaved what they “should” be feeling or doing.
• Grief may involve extreme emotions and behaviors. Feelings of guilt, anger, despair, and fear are common. A grieving person may yell to the heavens, obsess about the death, lash out at loved ones, or cry for hours on end. The bereaved need reassurance that what they’re feeling is normal. Don’t judge them or take their grief reactions personally.
• There is no set timetable for grieving. For many people, recovery after bereavement takes 18 to 24 months, but for others, the grieving process may be longer or shorter. Don’t pressure the bereaved to move on or make them feel like they’ve been grieving too long. This can actually slow their healing.

Thank you so much for this information. Often our loved ones, friends and coworkers simply just don't know how to react when faced with someone else's grief. These kinds of helpful advice certainly can help us all to help someone in need.

ModKonnie

[letters2mary]

Thank you so much for this information. Often our loved ones, friends and coworkers simply just don't know how to react when faced with someone else's grief. These kinds of helpful advice certainly can help us all to help someone in need.

ModKonnie

I find these time estimates problematic. From what source are these figures derived? If there is none, then how is it known whether or not this information is reliable or relevant. Bad information or unsourced information may be worse than none at all.

[Lil' Lamm]

Most often I have found that the best thing that can be done is to be open to listening. Never avoid the subject because you don't want to bring it up in case they have forgotten, They think about their lost loved one 24/7. I always try to bring a great memory or thought about them, or let the bereaved know that their loved one would be so proud of them...........It doesn't matter how long they have been gone. My dad has been gone for 18 years and I welcome the chance to talk about him any time I can get it. The memories always make me smile! If you are looking for a way to help someone grieve, please do check out this website, www.lillammlappies.com we can create a memorial blanket that will last for those you love!