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taking care of ourselves


dizzydancingway

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dizzydancingway

This might be a weird topic to start in this forum, but I wanted to share my experience with my first massage. My mom died a couple of months ago and, since then (along with the grief) I have had terrible stress and anxiety. A lot of these feelings stem from my being the only female left in my direct family--I feel pressured, both by myself and by my dad and brother, to take care of everyone and everything. I'm going to grief therapy. I've been reading lots of books on death and losing a mother and I've even started taking medication for anxiety/depression. But still, I can't shake the stress. What I've started noticing in the past few months is how much my mom's death has affected me physically. Constant back/shoulder pain. Headaches. I wake up with jaw pain from grinding my teeth. All since her death.

Well, a couple days ago I booked a massage for the first time in my life. I've had enough of all the stress and tension and wanted to see if a massage would help. The masseuse filled the room with beautiful herbal scents. I explained to her that I'd been experiencing lots of tension since my mom passed away. As she was massaging me, I felt so much of my stress float away. She found knots in my neck shoulders...she found one spot where, I...I swear, as she was working them out, I thought to myself, "this is where I've kept all the stress and pain of Mom's death. This is where its all gone." An hour later, I felt like a new woman. I felt refreshed and healthy for the first time since my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

Anyway, I know this might be a little odd of a topic, but I wanted to share my experience. We focus a lot on taking care of ourselves emotionally..talking out the grief, allowing ourselves to cry, etc. I'm starting to realize how connected my physical well-being is to my emotional, and that its just as important to take care of our bodies as it is to focus on the grief. I know massages aren't cheap but there are other things that I've started to do to take care of myself...going to the park on my lunch breaks and lying on the grass, taking a long bath.

My body has been pretty beat up since my mom died. Lack of sleep, inadequate appetite, almost no exercise, and weeks and weeks of tension built into my muscles. I'm adding all this to my long list of ways I need to take care of myself.

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This might be a weird topic to start in this forum, but I wanted to share my experience with my first massage. My mom died a couple of months ago and, since then (along with the grief) I have had terrible stress and anxiety. A lot of these feelings stem from my being the only female left in my direct family--I feel pressured, both by myself and by my dad and brother, to take care of everyone and everything. I'm going to grief therapy. I've been reading lots of books on death and losing a mother and I've even started taking medication for anxiety/depression. But still, I can't shake the stress. What I've started noticing in the past few months is how much my mom's death has affected me physically. Constant back/shoulder pain. Headaches. I wake up with jaw pain from grinding my teeth. All since her death.

Well, a couple days ago I booked a massage for the first time in my life. I've had enough of all the stress and tension and wanted to see if a massage would help. The masseuse filled the room with beautiful herbal scents. I explained to her that I'd been experiencing lots of tension since my mom passed away. As she was massaging me, I felt so much of my stress float away. She found knots in my neck shoulders...she found one spot where, I...I swear, as she was working them out, I thought to myself, "this is where I've kept all the stress and pain of Mom's death. This is where its all gone." An hour later, I felt like a new woman. I felt refreshed and healthy for the first time since my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

Anyway, I know this might be a little odd of a topic, but I wanted to share my experience. We focus a lot on taking care of ourselves emotionally..talking out the grief, allowing ourselves to cry, etc. I'm starting to realize how connected my physical well-being is to my emotional, and that its just as important to take care of our bodies as it is to focus on the grief. I know massages aren't cheap but there are other things that I've started to do to take care of myself...going to the park on my lunch breaks and lying on the grass, taking a long bath.

My body has been pretty beat up since my mom died. Lack of sleep, inadequate appetite, almost no exercise, and weeks and weeks of tension built into my muscles. I'm adding all this to my long list of ways I need to take care of myself.

This isn't a weird topic. It's a great idea! Stress and grief take their toll physically on people. Massage is an excellent way to loosen up those tight muscles filled with anxiety and tension.

I am glad you are taking care of yourself. Grief is also harder to deal with if a person is run down physically. Eating healthy, drinking plenty of water and getting enough exercise helps our bodies and minds cope with the terrible stress of loss. When we take care of ourselves, we have the energy we need to fight our way through the grieving.

Thanks for your excellent tip.

ModKonnie

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I completely agree with you, Dizzydancingway. I get a massage monthly now and it is soo very relaxing. I can let go of all my obsessive thoughts about missing my father, and past memories, and memories of his illness. I always feel much better. Getting back to cooking again in the last few weeks has been very helpful as well. Next step is exercising more again. I am going on walks at night with my dog and son, but think I need more than this. I guess we find our own way back to better health and well being. But it sure is a rocky road...

This might be a weird topic to start in this forum, but I wanted to share my experience with my first massage. My mom died a couple of months ago and, since then (along with the grief) I have had terrible stress and anxiety. A lot of these feelings stem from my being the only female left in my direct family--I feel pressured, both by myself and by my dad and brother, to take care of everyone and everything. I'm going to grief therapy. I've been reading lots of books on death and losing a mother and I've even started taking medication for anxiety/depression. But still, I can't shake the stress. What I've started noticing in the past few months is how much my mom's death has affected me physically. Constant back/shoulder pain. Headaches. I wake up with jaw pain from grinding my teeth. All since her death.

Well, a couple days ago I booked a massage for the first time in my life. I've had enough of all the stress and tension and wanted to see if a massage would help. The masseuse filled the room with beautiful herbal scents. I explained to her that I'd been experiencing lots of tension since my mom passed away. As she was massaging me, I felt so much of my stress float away. She found knots in my neck shoulders...she found one spot where, I...I swear, as she was working them out, I thought to myself, "this is where I've kept all the stress and pain of Mom's death. This is where its all gone." An hour later, I felt like a new woman. I felt refreshed and healthy for the first time since my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

Anyway, I know this might be a little odd of a topic, but I wanted to share my experience. We focus a lot on taking care of ourselves emotionally..talking out the grief, allowing ourselves to cry, etc. I'm starting to realize how connected my physical well-being is to my emotional, and that its just as important to take care of our bodies as it is to focus on the grief. I know massages aren't cheap but there are other things that I've started to do to take care of myself...going to the park on my lunch breaks and lying on the grass, taking a long bath.

My body has been pretty beat up since my mom died. Lack of sleep, inadequate appetite, almost no exercise, and weeks and weeks of tension built into my muscles. I'm adding all this to my long list of ways I need to take care of myself.

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I completely agree with you, Dizzydancingway. I get a massage monthly now and it is soo very relaxing. I can let go of all my obsessive thoughts about missing my father, and past memories, and memories of his illness. I always feel much better. Getting back to cooking again in the last few weeks has been very helpful as well. Next step is exercising more again. I am going on walks at night with my dog and son, but think I need more than this. I guess we find our own way back to better health and well being. But it sure is a rocky road...

That is a lovely thought and experience - massage.

The problem for me, ironically, is that when I looked after my father with Alzheimers, we had a routine whereby he'd massage my legs and I'd do his back before bedtime. He died two months ago and I am still in shock. But I can't think of something more relaxing than massage. We were big on that in our family. Touch is so important.

I go for walks and cycle but I am still not there yet. It's like there is a veil of sadness over me, a dark cloud. Grief takes time and everyone is different. I applaud your personal efforts for your health.

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