Members rebeccadouglas Posted December 9, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 9, 2007 I have a friend from a support group who is dying of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. There are only four left in our group now and we are all he has in the way of family. His wife of 22yrs divorced him 3yrs ago and they had now children. His close relatives are all dead now. His disease has begun to progress rapidly inspite of the best efforts of he and the Dr. With that in mind an d knowing that I was recently Executor for my Mother's will he asked if I would act as executor for his. I am and all the paperwork has been done.Here is the delima he won't ask for help and is a very private person. As his friends we hate to see him go it alone but we also don't want to act like we think he is already dead.Physically he tires so quickly and he is depressed and frustrated. I am not sure how to support him and neither are my friends. Suggestions??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4everjoeysmom Posted January 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 I would just express my sincere love. Let him know that he is loved so much that you and anyone else who wishes to help want to help him, to help take care of things he nop longer has strength to do, to help in any way he needs help. Make no demands, but let him know that you would not be insensed, grossed out, or whatever, by anything that he would need you to do, that you most sincerely want to be his arms and legs when he needs you to extend yourself as so. If he needs a friend to sit up with him in the night, read to him, take out the trash, help him grrom, whatever, that you are available. The decision is his, but to at least let him know in full candor how you feel and what you are willing to go through with him, it may open him up to a new comfort level and choices he has not thought of before... I'm so sorry for your circumstance. It is never easy knowing you'll have to say good-bye. Bless you and BIG HUGS, Claudia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmum Posted January 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 [user=18889]rebeccadouglas[/user] wrote: I have a friend from a support group who is dying of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. There are only four left in our group now and we are all he has in the way of family. His wife of 22yrs divorced him 3yrs ago and they had now children. His close relatives are all dead now. His disease has begun to progress rapidly inspite of the best efforts of he and the Dr. With that in mind an d knowing that I was recently Executor for my Mother's will he asked if I would act as executor for his. I am and all the paperwork has been done.Here is the delima he won't ask for help and is a very private person. As his friends we hate to see him go it alone but we also don't want to act like we think he is already dead.Physically he tires so quickly and he is depressed and frustrated. I am not sure how to support him and neither are my friends. Suggestions???A very private person that won't ask for help many times has difficulty in letting someone in no matter what their circumstances are. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease is cruelly debiliating. It seems that your friend has allowed you in to his inner circle by asking you to be his executor. He may feel however to ask for assistance may be a real sign of losing his independance.Perhaps you instill in your friend that any assistance offered would be to enable him conserve his energies for those things he might gain pleasure from. The daily living tasks that tend to expend energies are things you might offer assistance with. Shopping, tidying, reading, and if appropriate hygiene, showering etc....I guess it is hard to ask for help at the best of times....sometimes though having someone offering can be the blessing in disguise we hoped for.Wish you well...Trudi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rebeccadouglas Posted January 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 Thanks Claudia for the hugs. My mother died this past June. I wasn't expecting to be dealing with this again so soon. Thank God for the moment my friend Randy is stable and still able to take care of personal needs.He struggles with depression which I understand. My prayer is to be open to God's leading.Thank you for your supportRebecca Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rebeccadouglas Posted January 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 Trudi you have offered some good suggestions.My prayer is that I will be open to God's leading as I help my friend Randy. Right now he is stable and doing OK. He can take care of personal needs and some light things at home. He does know that our circle of friends is ready and willing to help anytimeThank you for your gift of support.Rebecca Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Kelly Posted August 8, 2010 Author Administrators Report Share Posted August 8, 2010 Dear Members,We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden, but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com. Kelly Baltzell, MACEO/PresidentBeyond Indigo Family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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