Members JeffW Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 I lost my wife on Feb 25 due to a severe allergic reaction to some medication she was taking. To say my feelings have been all over the map would be an understatement. I've experienced grief, anger, guilt and all feelings in between. I've asked myself if I was a good enough husband, whether she TRULY knew that I loved her. Just questions to myself that I am told are totally normal for someone like me.The biggest issue that I am facing now is being able to go back to our home. I am unable to go back there at this point alone. But I suppose that is normal given the amount of time that has passed. Friends and family have given me various advice on how to deal with it. Some say I may have to sell the home and move elsewhere. But I don't think I can do that. This is OUR home. The place we picked out together and lived in together. I can't go back there at this point, but at the same time, I would NEVER be able to sell it. I feel closer to her when I am there, but at the same time it is impossible for me to stay there, especially alone. Not sure what to do about it but to just suck it up and go back there hope things become a little easier the longer I stay there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 I lost my wife on Feb 25 due to a severe allergic reaction to some medication she was taking. To say my feelings have been all over the map would be an understatement. I've experienced grief, anger, guilt and all feelings in between. I've asked myself if I was a good enough husband, whether she TRULY knew that I loved her. Just questions to myself that I am told are totally normal for someone like me.The biggest issue that I am facing now is being able to go back to our home. I am unable to go back there at this point alone. But I suppose that is normal given the amount of time that has passed. Friends and family have given me various advice on how to deal with it. Some say I may have to sell the home and move elsewhere. But I don't think I can do that. This is OUR home. The place we picked out together and lived in together. I can't go back there at this point, but at the same time, I would NEVER be able to sell it. I feel closer to her when I am there, but at the same time it is impossible for me to stay there, especially alone. Not sure what to do about it but to just suck it up and go back there hope things become a little easier the longer I stay there.Jeff,I am so sorry about your wife. Your grief, anger, guilt, etc., are perfectly normal, as is your reluctance to revisit the place where you two were so happy. My mother-in-law passed away in my home, and my husband went through something similar. He will never sell our home because she passed away here, but he had a hard time being here. He is now more comfortable and feeling better. We want to be here to support you. Come tell us your story when you are ready. ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members carolsr Posted March 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I lost my wife on Feb 25 due to a severe allergic reaction to some medication she was taking. To say my feelings have been all over the map would be an understatement. I've experienced grief, anger, guilt and all feelings in between. I've asked myself if I was a good enough husband, whether she TRULY knew that I loved her. Just questions to myself that I am told are totally normal for someone like me.The biggest issue that I am facing now is being able to go back to our home. I am unable to go back there at this point alone. But I suppose that is normal given the amount of time that has passed. Friends and family have given me various advice on how to deal with it. Some say I may have to sell the home and move elsewhere. But I don't think I can do that. This is OUR home. The place we picked out together and lived in together. I can't go back there at this point, but at the same time, I would NEVER be able to sell it. I feel closer to her when I am there, but at the same time it is impossible for me to stay there, especially alone. Not sure what to do about it but to just suck it up and go back there hope things become a little easier the longer I stay there.Jeff, I am very sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to go back to the house that you shared with your wife. I had to do it years ago. Most of the time, it brought me comfort to be where my husband had lived and died. Of course, there were very difficult days, too. Maybe if you can try going there for short periods and kind of ease yourself into it. It should get easier with time. It's okay to be upset, when you go there. Just let the tears flow. You love her and it will take a while to deal with the grief and the hurt. It is better to face it, even if it is terribly painful. That is the only way that we can begin to heal. Take care. Carol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JeffW Posted March 23, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Jeff,I am so sorry about your wife. Your grief, anger, guilt, etc., are perfectly normal, as is your reluctance to revisit the place where you two were so happy. My mother-in-law passed away in my home, and my husband went through something similar. He will never sell our home because she passed away here, but he had a hard time being here. He is now more comfortable and feeling better. We want to be here to support you. Come tell us your story when you are ready. ModKonnieThe thing that has been going through my mind lately is the importance we place on the more petty things in life. Things that we put a large price on, stress over, and allow to sometimes rule our life. But when something like this happens you realize just how unimportant and petty some of those things are and just how meaningless they are to you now. It is heartbreaking that it sometimes takes an event like this in order to wake you up to the truly meaningful and important things in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 The thing that has been going through my mind lately is the importance we place on the more petty things in life. Things that we put a large price on, stress over, and allow to sometimes rule our life. But when something like this happens you realize just how unimportant and petty some of those things are and just how meaningless they are to you now. It is heartbreaking that it sometimes takes an event like this in order to wake you up to the truly meaningful and important things in life.Jeff,Why can't we all learn that before we need to? I completely agree with you. Stressing over silly material things is irrelevant in the wake of what some people face. ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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