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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
lostdad2004

Im about to give.

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Its Christmas time my dads favorite holiday and mine. But Im about to give up i just dont want to live another day. Its been 3 years since we lost my dad and it seems like everyone besides my dads side and my mom,sister,and me seems to have forgotten about him. It seems that there is no record of his existance besides what we have in our memories and physically. My moms parents seem like they like my moms new boyfriend more then they liked my dad and i just want to beat them for it. My aunt told my 6 yr old cousin that my dad killed himself and thats far from the truth my dad was in a car accident. And i cant seem to forget the night it happened. I was asleep and heard my ma screamin and cryin i lloked around and my dad wasnt around i just fell to the floor when i seen the two officers and my dads boss standing at  the door i knew my dad wasnt comein home to comfort us and help..  I tried to make things up like my dads at work and something happened to my grandparents but inside it was clear what had happened. My Moms family keeps tellin me oh its been three years get over it. But i go to my dads parents and cry with them and my family. My dad was my Hero, Bestfriend, rolemodel and most of all my DAD.

Im tired of hearin the crap my family is sayin one time they had the audasity to say hes dead quit cryin i told them there not family i told them there dead to me. After he died it feels like i was crushed by the universe he promised me he wouldnt go anywhere for a long long time. He was the greatest paramedic firefighter and father i thought he was indestructable.Every day the pain gets worse its like theres a big gaping hole in my heart and every time the wind blows it hurts worse and worse and gets bigger and bigger. Every day that passes and hes not here it gets harder to breathe he always said somthin funny whaen he was happy like when i got to drive when i was 13 some one walked out in front of the truck and i hit the brakes he said you know what you do when some one walks in front of you and i said he said test the gas peddal and make sure it works.. i laughed so hard i about died. we were goin to cinncinati OH and we played slug bug but with 50 different cars my leg was black and blue when we got there but that was one of the best moments in my life...

 

        Well got to go people but it feels good to talk

Sincerley

Michael A. Dobrosky

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sidvis   

[align=left]Dearest Michael, this will be the third Christmas without our dad too.  I am so sorry for the pain you are in.  I am so glad you found this web site and were able to express your feelings.  I have found it really does help when you feel like you cannot do this any more.  There are alot of us out there who feel just like you do.  All we can do is try to get through each day the best way we can.  Sometimes that means just letting ourselves feel the rottoness of the situation.  Keep posting here and I know there will be others who will respond to you and can maybe help lift some of the pain. Peace to you.

[/align]

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Hello Michael,

Even though it's been 3 years, you don't need to get over it and it's ok to still mourn for your dad.  Everyone deals with their grief in different ways and there isn't a set of rules to follow about how long to miss him.  I hope that there are other people in your life who you can talk to about how you are feeling.  I lost my brother on October 16th when he had a heart attack.  He left 6 kids behind and every one of them is dealing with his death differently. 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that this is a place where I've been able to get some comfort and hope that it is the same for you.

Peace ,

Linda

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maskott   

Michael,

We all understand what you are feeling.  Sometimes you just need to take it one minute at a time.  I lost my son over two years ago and sometimes when I think about him, I feel like I've been punched in the stomache.  So I certainly know what you are feeling.  3 months after my son died, my mother had the nerve to say to me "get over it", "you need to move on with your life".  I went back to work in tears and got right on to this site to complain.  The people hear listen, understand, and try to comfort.  Sometimes, people say things hoping to make you feel better, but in reality, what they say makes you feel as if your feelings don't matter.

Your father was important.  Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.  Keep him in your heart.  If it helps, continue to talk to him.  Tell him about your day and what you've been doing.  Maybe it will help you get through the day.

I wish there was more that I can say or do...but we all just try to make it through the day.  Some days are harder than others...some are filled with tears.  It's alright to cry and it's alright to miss him.  Take your time with your grief. 

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Dear Michael,

I completely understand how you feel.  I lost my mom on New Year Day 2007.  I have held it for my childrens sake but there isnt a day that goes by that she doesnt cross my mind every second.  No one but my brother understands the pain that I am in.  I even started to resent others for still having their mother.   I know that my mom would want me to move on but it is hard when a part of you died the same time that they did.     I have to keep her memory alive.  I cry when I want.  I too have others telling me to move on but I am far from ready for that.   Everyone deals with things in their own way and I am not coping well.   I have thought about seeing a Dr to help me through but I dont want them to say that I need drugs to deal with my sadness.  I am an emotional person and always have been.  It is okay to be that way.    Try to write in a journal so that you dont forget any little detail.   I am here if you need to talk about it.

 

 

Davina

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sheela   

you know what helped me to accept things and love God again ? seeing how bitter and empty and what a dirty low down people my cousins  are -- they lost some one also and it has ruined them well they were ruined before but they are so much worse now - they are angry and bitter at every one and at every little small thing - nothing you say to them goes unpunished be it a nice compliment anything at all  - after seeing and being around this i never want to be like them ever not in a million years

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I am so sorry for your loss . I know about not feeling like people remember the one that is gone. My family doesn't like to talk about my brothers suicided. so I have to talk mainly on here about how I feel. if you want the whole story its under the suicide forum How do i forgive is the title.. In my family we do talk about him but don't dare mention his form of death.. I hope that this site helps you as much as it has me. I had noone till I found this forum. God bless and you are not alone,,, we are out here and we will never forget those that have gone on.

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kelly   

Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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