loss of mother

[sandy tavares]

Hi, I'm not sure I am doing this right. A lot has changes since almost 7 yrs ago so I am new to everything again. I just wanted to say that I lost my mother almost 7 yrs ago and I'm still having a hard time dealing with it. I thought I had it under control and I believed I was doing ok but there seems to be something holding me back. I think this is normal and I have come to learn that it doesn't get easier it just gets harder but what can we do to keep moving forward and not let depression kick in? If anyone would like to respond I would realy appreciate it.

[ModKonnie]

Hi, I'm not sure I am doing this right. A lot has changes since almost 7 yrs ago so I am new to everything again. I just wanted to say that I lost my mother almost 7 yrs ago and I'm still having a hard time dealing with it. I thought I had it under control and I believed I was doing ok but there seems to be something holding me back. I think this is normal and I have come to learn that it doesn't get easier it just gets harder but what can we do to keep moving forward and not let depression kick in? If anyone would like to respond I would realy appreciate it.

Hi Poofymom2,

You are doing this right!

On our grief journey, we go through periods where we ebb and flow with grief; things seem to be better then something sets us off. After seven years, and you feel as though you are holding back, maybe it's time to talk to a therapist or doctor or clergy person about your grief. Your depression may need to be dealt with through medication. During our grief journey, we all become beyond blue at times, but constant depression--including a lack of energy, feelings of utter despair, apathy, etc., may be something more.

Of course, we are talking about the loss of your mother, which is profound and earth shattering. You never "get over" the loss of a loved one, you just move forward. If you aren't moving forward, we need to figure out how to help you start doing so.

Why do you think you are holding back? Are you afraid you may forget her? That's a common issue, it seems, and many people are afraid of that. You won't forget her, ever.

Are you angry?

Do you feel cheated in some way that she is gone?

Do you have close family members or friends that you can talk to?

I am so sorry you are going through this. There are many people here who are suffering similarly. They may have some solid advice or encouragement for you.

ModKonnie