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I Miss My Dad


natalieirene

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I am brand new to forums and am hoping this will help......

It has only been 13 days since i lost my father and everyday it gets harder. The week of his passing i did not griev much. Infact i enjoyed that time with my close family. It was almost like celebrating a holiday. Now that i am home and back on schedule i have found everyday tasks daunting. I want to stay in bed all day, i don't even want to shower. My poor boyfriend and childern have to deal with me by walking on egg shells. I don't want to cook, clean or even take the kids to school. I do these tasks in fear of being a bad mother...but i do not do them whole heartedly. My father and i were very close. Infact i lived with he and his wife for the 1st four years of my daughters life. We just moved out recently when i purchased a house and moved in with my soon to be husband an his two boys. So not only did i loose my father, but my daughter lost her best friend. He had been retired for 5 years and provided full time daycare for her. I could go on about what a great guy he was and how many lives he touched...but i don't have it in me. I could describe the party we had to celebrate his life instead of a funeral....but that has gone and passed. What im having issues with.....is i can't call him. I cant stop by like i did all the time. I cant hear his voice and he wont be here to walk his youngest daugher down the aisle. All these feelings have left me depressed and frustrated. Im not a nice person anymore...and im afraid ill be like this for a long time. My boyfriend did not know him well enough to understand the loss of everyone that did know him well....im not even comfortable talking about this with him. i don't know what to do with myself anymore and its just the beginning.

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I am brand new to forums and am hoping this will help......

It has only been 13 days since i lost my father and everyday it gets harder. The week of his passing i did not griev much. Infact i enjoyed that time with my close family. It was almost like celebrating a holiday. Now that i am home and back on schedule i have found everyday tasks daunting. I want to stay in bed all day, i don't even want to shower. My poor boyfriend and childern have to deal with me by walking on egg shells. I don't want to cook, clean or even take the kids to school. I do these tasks in fear of being a bad mother...but i do not do them whole heartedly. My father and i were very close. Infact i lived with he and his wife for the 1st four years of my daughters life. We just moved out recently when i purchased a house and moved in with my soon to be husband an his two boys. So not only did i loose my father, but my daughter lost her best friend. He had been retired for 5 years and provided full time daycare for her. I could go on about what a great guy he was and how many lives he touched...but i don't have it in me. I could describe the party we had to celebrate his life instead of a funeral....but that has gone and passed. What im having issues with.....is i can't call him. I cant stop by like i did all the time. I cant hear his voice and he wont be here to walk his youngest daugher down the aisle. All these feelings have left me depressed and frustrated. Im not a nice person anymore...and im afraid ill be like this for a long time. My boyfriend did not know him well enough to understand the loss of everyone that did know him well....im not even comfortable talking about this with him. i don't know what to do with myself anymore and its just the beginning.

Natalieirene,

I responded to your post to Splash, as well. How kind of you to try to help someone else when your grieving is so new.

This is the beginning, but it's also the toughest part of your journey in a way. Try to get by a little at a time. When my father died, I couldn't cook for weeks. I could barely eat, I didn't sleep, and I had no energy to even think. I have four kids, so they were suffering as well. I couldn't make myself do anything.

We ate lots of frozen pizza and sat and cried together. Your kids will look back and understand what you are going through.

Your grief is fresh. Give yourself a little time to grieve wholeheartedly and little by little you will be able to start functioning again.

Is your boyfriend being supportive? Let him help if he wants to. He may not understand at all about how special your father was to you, but he should understand how difficult your loss is. Are there other family members you can talk to? Friends who did know your dad?

You can come here to talk as much as you want or to simply read and reflect.

We will be here waiting.

ModKonnie

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My dad has been gone for a year in a half. He passed away from a heart attack.. I talked to him 3 hrs before he passed away (or so we have decided) and I would have never thought anything was wrong... I too miss those moments when I can not call him, see him....I talked to my dad nearly 3-4 times a day so I knew when he did not respond something was wrong. I believe i read you have a family and you are lucky for that...I had another friends dad pass away and she said, if it wasn't for her family she doesn't know what she would do? I sadly do not have that is that a good thing? I hoipe you the best in life....I dream about my dad a lot and he is always giving me advice or just chit-chating with me a year later. LIfe is complicated.

How did your dad pass away?

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thank you Tiff...i am also sorry to hear of your loss. I am hoping that my family can help me through this, as long as i don't push them away. Although you do not have a family to help you get through this, your frineds are the next best to family. You asked how i lost my father. it was very similar to your father. I spoke to him on a daly basis. My daughter went over there on a friday for the weekend. they went to bed on saturday night and he never woke up on sunday. My father had 7 children and 14 grandchildren....he is missed very much. Once again Tiff, i hope this gets easier for you...as i hope it gets easier for me as well. By the way...without famliy....how did you cope?

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