imbroken I need professional help and no one cares

[mariesgril1953]

I desperately need help NOW I lost my beautiful mam suddenly the end of Oct 15. (The 28th) ever since then I have been a complete mess. I need professional help and no one cares. I have begged and begged my husband to put me into a mental facility but he says and also my dad and I quote "I don't have that type of money, just get over it and be happy" I CAN'T why can't they just realize that? I am currently seeing a therapist who is a great support but I feel this isn't going to be enough. My husband has last his job and all because of me. My dad says I don't want to see your marriage break up he says always that it will "kill him" and "think of ME, don't do that to me!" I don't even have the energy to look after my son anymore I just don't want to. He will be better off with his dad until I am better. I was and always will be so close to my mam. She was everything to me. I hate not having her here. I never even got the chance to grieve for her because I have to care for my son (6) I just can't do this anymore. I have taken overdoses and I am unfortunately still here. Why won't anymore listen to me and get me the help I want and need. All i hear from my husband is "you told me you don't want help" well maybe when he hear on the news about me floating in then river then he will day to himself "I should have done more" and also my dad will too. He hasn't even gotten my mam a headstone yet. I will never ever as long as i live forgive him for what he has down to me. He has completely ruined my life. It's his fault my mam is dead. And also mine because I wasn't there when she needed me most. I don't sleep anymore not even sleeping tablets help me. So. I stay up all night and got to bed between 3-6am and sleep all day and it is STILL a problem. The day I start to grieve for my amazing beautiful mam, only then people will realize i desperately need help.

[reader]

Dear Marie,

I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I hope these links will connect to the resources in the community that will support you.

Please know we care.  Thinking of you. Sending my thoughts and prayers.

https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/

https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/1/lho/northdublin/mentalhealth/mentalhealthsucidesupportdublinnorth.html