how do I let my uncles go?

[BluesPreacherCreighton]

Hello guys, 

I am in need of some advice. I lost both of my uncles one adopted and one real the end of last year and it has taken a toll on me, espeically with being in school. I have been trying to journal, write music, and play blues music when I can. I am a blues musician who is up and coming in the world. My adopted uncles name was jon and my real uncles name was jimmy. My uncle Jimmy showed me my first guitar chords and was someone who I loved dearly. My uncle Jon was someone who I was very very close with, I would hang with him every weekend and he was like a bestfriend, we talked politics, history, and about music. both men were close to me and both have died. My mama has been so close with me, she is there for me. I have seen my uncle jon in my dreams, and my uncle Jimmy has sent a blues artist I admire to me in my dreams and my mama and I think my uncle Jimmy is here with me in the house because he is worried about how I have been paranoid about my death and how I have let fear control me. my mama thinks I should let my uncle go and tell him its ok to leave. How do I let them go but keep their memories with me? I am getting my uncle Jimmys electric guitar and his amp, and Its something that  I feel I need to do some day sooner or later. what should I do?

[miss ellipsis]

I am very sorry for your losses. Moving forward after saying goodbye to a loved one is perhaps the most difficult thing to do in this life.

I don't think you need to "let go" of your uncles. My sister's best friend has a — I'm not sure how to put it, a sixth sense or a third eye? — kind of "aura" about the dearly departed and she says that when you see your deceased loved ones in your dreams it means that they are telling you that they are all right. I'd like to think that your uncles appearing in your dreams is their way of telling you that they are OK, that you shouldn't be afraid to move forward. You will forever miss them which is why I think it's impossible to "let go" of them — you are not going to completely erase them from your life and your mind and your memories. 

What you can do, I believe, is to let go of the negativity: the sadness, the fear, the guilt, the remorse, etc. Yes it seems easy to say but I think your uncles wouldn't want you to be sad forever. If there is one thing I've learned about grief it's that it's always there. You can't get rid of it. And the best thing we can do is to make room for it, to adjust to its presence in our lives, but not letting it completely take over our lives. What I'm trying to say is that, it's OK to be sad — you NEED to feel sad to recover — but don't let that sadness define you and dictate your next steps. 

You say you are trying to journal and write and play music and I think that's already an indication that you are keeping your memories of your uncles with you. Those are your ways of memorializing your uncles and making them still a part of your life even if they are not physically here anymore. You are doing good. Just keep moving forward and take it one day at a time. 

Not sure if my words were gibberish but I hope I was able to help somehow.