Members SAMANTHA ANT'S MA Posted February 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2018 The last 40 days been painful for everyone in our family & brutally painful for me. Nothing seams to helps. Although the sun peeks out at times & dries up my tears it doesn't change the way I feel inside. I"v always been a strong person. Losing my son has made me extremely weak. I can't get this together. The second I'm alone I'm a total mess. Today made 41 days Anthony went to heaven. I miss him more then words can say. This pain is brutal & I feel like it will never go away. I miss him so much. My husband & I cry everyday for most of the day. This is the first time in my life that I felt my husbands pain. I feel i can't help him. We had a memorial mass in celebration of Anthony ' s life yesterday. Its was beautiful but I felt so much more pain inside. Today my insides are like jello, my eyes heavy, my mind runs wild, I feel crazy in silence. I feel even crazier when I find myself screaming out loud like a wild coyote inside of myself. Anthony's death is brutally painful this is a slow pain of death. I feel I am slowly dying from the inside out. I don't know if I am going to be able to live in this world with out my son. People say the pain will go away but it doesn't. It seams to get worse day by day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members peggy a sad mom Posted February 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2018 samantha i know i am feeling the same thing. i just want to end it all. yesterday was a month. i haven't stopped crying for the entire day yet. i don't know how my body handles it i really don't. my pain is just so so bad i can't take anymore. i will never see him again i just can't face that.i want him back right now. i feel like i will never get better either. i don't think i can make it either. it is a slow death inside out good way of putting it. my heart hurts so much. i can't stand it anymore i just can't. i am so sorry for you cause i feel every bit of it. i am so sorry for us. oh my God please help us please. peggy ronnie's mother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SAMANTHA ANT'S MA Posted February 21, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2018 Peggy I am also very sorry for you. Sometimes the only thing that helps is writing about the way I feel & reading the stories of other people on this site (How sad it that). Yep I feel like this pain is slowly killing me. Cause there Is nothing I can do to change the fact my son is gone. That hurts so bad. Everyone says I will be ok with time. I can't see it the pain is like no other. I am so thankful for this site. Ericasmom, Tears in Heaven, Shorty16 & so many more have helped me. I don't know where I would be if I didn't find them great people. I hope one day we can be where they are at one day peggy someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KimmiesMom Posted May 14, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2018 It has been two months for me and every single time I think, okay, I can do this-something will happen unexpectedly and I burst into tears. I thought that it was hard to bury a parent but compared to this it was a breeze. Everything in the world reminds me of her and some days it is just seems impossible but I go on. I go to work, I pay my bills but even the brief moments of joy in my life are overshadowed by this tremendous pain. It's a terrible thing we are going through, but I know we can make it- for sadly, we are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted May 14, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2018 samantha and Peggy you are already members of our forum so you know we will all help as much as we can. kimmesmom I already responded to your other post and invited you to join us on the loss of an adult site. Yes it is a slow and excruciatingly painful journey. You feel like and sometimes do scream aloud, your body feels like you have been flayed alive and your chest feels tight making it hard to breathe. I know I have been there it is a horrible scary and lonely place to find yourself but you are all not alone the forum will help you to find the light again. able to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mumtogeorge Posted May 19, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 19, 2018 Oh my heart is aching for you ...i get.wht you are feeling...10weeks onand it feels like its getting worse...my heart actually hurts...my body aches..i shake inside..i send every ounce of love to.you all.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tinay Posted May 20, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 20, 2018 hi everyone. i'm on day 423. It does get better when you have something to occupy your mind. My occupation things are work mainly. I've done other things to help control my mind numbing thoughts. I've done crafts and I'm not a crafty person but I've done things to memorialize my Kiona. She passed 20 days after turning 19. I won't go what happened as it still makes me angry. I still struggle with it. I still pray (my saving grace.) Not that I have much to say he doesn't know that is going on in my head. Right now, I'm trying to grieve a little while my son is with his dad and OMG, the upstairs neighbors use their apartment as a playground. About to let landlord know. I turned my daughter's music up to about 70 on my tv. hopefully they get the point. but guessing not. going to text landlord. off for now. peace and love to all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Liss Posted May 26, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 I lost my 30 year old girl on 18/2/17. The days just go one at a time. I don’t have any thoughts of a future. Her twin brother was in car accident in 2015 and has Tbi and in wheelchair. I can’t comprehend what the last 3 years has thrown at me. I find it hard to feel and love my grandkids. I feel like all my emotions are gone. If it wasn’t for my son in wheelchair- I wouldn’t want to be here. I can’t explain how I feel to my eldest son. I just go on one day at a time. I was so so close to her. We understood each other so well. It’s like my heart is being punched all of time. I have no pleasure in anything. It’s no wonder I do t have friends or family support anymore. No one knows wat to do or say. Some days I am worse than others but I just pretend to be ok. When I think of the years to come without her- I just cry. I’m trying to be there for my younger son and grandkids but oh god it is so so hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missmybaby Posted May 30, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 I am feeling so broken after the loss of my son Danny I can’t imagine growing old without him,I miss the texts at night when he would say I love you mama goodnight and all the things he did for me,I miss cooking for him, I miss seeing him everyday ,I miss his beautiful smile and how he hugged me and kissed me every time he went home. I pray god helps me through this, I just want to go be with him but I know I have to stay for my 24 year old son and my husband I find no joy in anything now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.