Members Karilinn Posted February 20, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2018 I have no desire, no want to move forward with out him. We had so many plans for retirement and now he is just gone. Kids are moved out living their lives. And I am just lost. Everyone keeps saying I am young, I can find someone else. I am so lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 22, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 I understand. Right now it's still so soon, it hasn't even been 1 1/2 years, try not to think about the rest of your life and just get through today. We're here listening, all going through this together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted February 23, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2018 On 2/20/2018 at 1:29 PM, Karilinn said: I have no desire, no want to move forward with out him. We had so many plans for retirement and now he is just gone. Kids are moved out living their lives. And I am just lost. Everyone keeps saying I am young, I can find someone else. I am so lost. Hi, Karilinn I here you, I was their. You will know when you are ready. You may find my thread "Autocharge my experience " of some help. At least I hope you do. Autocharge (moving forward "new normal") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michelene Posted February 23, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2018 On 2/20/2018 at 10:29 AM, Karilinn said: I have no desire, no want to move forward with out him. We had so many plans for retirement and now he is just gone. Kids are moved out living their lives. And I am just lost. Everyone keeps saying I am young, I can find someone else. I am so lost. Karilinn, I feel this--my husband would have been able to retire next year. Right before he had his heart attack he was gone for site work for a week and a half and wrote me that he was looking at pictures of our house, to remind him of why he was working like this. He was getting burnt out. I am not sure how to think about the future, so I don't. Today I went back and pretended that things had worked out differently. I walked in to work, talking to myself all the way. Thinking about the future is painful, thinking about the shoulda's of the past is painful--I feel like a horse with blinders on, especially at work. Just focused on a minute section of my life, afraid to look up. Sometimes when I read books about how our loved ones who have passed on wish us not to grieve but to experience happiness again, it makes me mad. "YOU don't get to say HOW I do this!" I tell my husband. Sorry, rough week for me. Not even at three months. Fortunately no one has said the "find someone else" thing to me. I would not know how to react to that. You are in my thoughts today, for what that is worth. Strange, isn't it--we are from all over, with various experiences, yet people know things here i haven't told anyone else. Thank you. I don't know what would become of me if I couldn't post here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members M88 Posted February 24, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2018 I too am very grateful for this forum. My thougths are with you, Michelene. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 24, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 24, 2018 Michelene, I feel the same way, I would not have made it through this if not for my grief forum that I found 12 1/2 years ago, it saved my life. That's why I'm here, I feel it's so important for people to know someone hears them, someone understands, someone cares. And it doesn't stop, it doesn't have an end, this grief. One thing I noticed and I see it in you too, that I got much moxie after George died, I stood up for myself where it came to my grief, it's MINE, I get to decide how to do it, no one else can tell me how I should feel or how I should be doing this. My grief specialist tells us to throw away the word "should". She gets it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunflower2 Posted February 25, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 @Michelene totally get your shared thoughts. Totally. Even with the sadness I get it. we know thinking of the future is not the best place to visit as with the regrets and the guilt but regardless it is part of the journey! The retirement with Wayne yes us being ready to burst forward as we were beginning to revisit our journey. Than the heart attack. No known medical history. It happened after "a routine prostate cancer surgery." On 2/23/2018 at 1:22 PM, Michelene said: Sometimes when I read books about how our loved ones who have passed on wish us not to grieve but to experience happiness again, it makes me mad. "YOU don't get to say HOW I do this!" I tell my husband. Sorry, rough week for me. Not even at three months. Yes those conversations with our loved ones. Mine are like "Ok you put me in this place now help me get through this s***." I get it all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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