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My young love


Juliana_

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Valentine’s Day just reminds me of the many valentines days I shared with my fiancé and just to think he is not here kills me !!!

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I feel the same, Juliana.  Today is my third Valentine’s without him -  it should have been the 25th one we’d shared.  

Sadly, the media hype and goods in the shops in the lead up to significant days,  emphasize our loss all the more. 

Sending you strength and hugs. 

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I feel you; yesterday was a rough day for me. This is actually the second valentine day without my Charles, but it feels like the first. Last year, my mind, heart and soul was just not here.  While part of my being is somewhat back, I can really feel the essence of the loss and it brought back my tsumani full force.  A friend's call brought me back to reality and it helped me get through the rest of the day.  Thank God for friends and knowing just the right people to send you at just the right time.

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Francine, I'm so glad your friend called you.  I was alone and the house was silent all day except I had to go to the church and pay some bills and do some reimbursements, the bad part about being sick is having to keep up with doing things when you don't feel like it.  It was hard for me to think, let alone work.  And of course I had to shovel snow, will have to again today.

I'm glad we got through yesterday, it's a rough day for those of us remembering and trying to make it through without our spouses here.

How are you doing with loss of your brother?  My sister is still dying but it's a slower process than the doctors thought.

 

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I stopped by the cemetery to drop off red roses on V-day.   This week, I'm repeating the process because it will be my wife's 40th birthday.  I don't know how my life got to where it is now.  I'm not suicidal but I never thought that I would be in a position to not want to live life anymore.  As I'm writing this post, I have a vision of coming up on two doors.... go through the one on the right to live, and go through the one on the left to go.  I'd choose the left door in a heartbeat.

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48 minutes ago, Azipod said:

I stopped by the cemetery to drop off red roses on V-day.   This week, I'm repeating the process because it will be my wife's 40th birthday.  I don't know how my life got to where it is now.  I'm not suicidal but I never thought that I would be in a position to not want to live life anymore.  As I'm writing this post, I have a vision of coming up on two doors.... go through the one on the right to live, and go through the one on the left to go.  I'd choose the left door in a heartbeat.

@Azipod you will be going through the right door. I understand the feeling and the thought but for some reason we move through those horrific moments of pain.  Think about taking one rose home with you and feel the connecting energy. 

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I don't know what to say.  I know the feelings so well.  It's a constant fight.  I'm sorry you're feeling that way, I hope it passes, for all of us.  But then I think the throes of winter are weighing in on me and perhaps I'll feel better come Spring.  I've been buried in snow and shoveling, shoveling, shoveling, that's all my life is anymore.  And it serves only to accentuate the fact that George is gone and not able to help me through this.  

I think like Sunflower said it'd be good to keep one rose for the connectedness with your wife.  It's weird that I'm growing older and George is still young.  I know he would still love me, aged and all, but he wanted to grow old WITH me.

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