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Sudden death of mother in home accident

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My mother passed away three weeks ago on Friday January 19.   She fell in the shower and apparently died instantly....we don’t know for sure because she was alone.  She was found on Monday (3 days later).  She lived alone and was usually busy on weekends, she lives in South America and I live in Germany so we have a 6 hr difference...I spoke with her on the phone a few hours before her accident, it was night time for me.  She sounded her own self, but happier because my sister and I were going to fly to visit her only in a few weeks.  I feel extreme guilt because she laid alone in her shower for 2 days...it kills me that I didn’t call her on Saturday or Sunday...sometimes we go 2 days without talking, I haven’t lived with her in 18 years so it was normal to skip 1-2 days... specially weekends cause she has a business that’s busier those days.  I flew to South America immediately.... she was healthy, happy on her last day...it was so sudden.....I feel anxiety attacks every day,  today I thought I was gonna have a heart attack, I have nightmares, and cannot sleep more than 4 hrs in a row.  I cry a lot and feel very depressed... i hope i make it to a point where I can be a little more normal and not burst into tears every so many hours.

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I am so very sorry about the sudden and tragic loss of your mom. We have a forum "Loss of a Parent," where you will find many people who have lost their beloved parents. They will be able to offer you support and encouragement, too. 

You have to stop beating yourself up over not calling your mom. I, too, go for days without talking to my mom. That's just how things are. Talking about your feelings will definitely help you to deal with them. 

We will be here with you,


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Dear Nonita,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your pain and sorrow.

That is one of the hardest parts of grief. Wishing we could go back in time. We all do it because we think we have the ability to save our parents, but its not true. I know its not easy.

Try to take it moment by moment for now. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

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