Members LP&Treats Posted February 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 Today my childhood cat of 16 years was put to to sleep. My family adopted him when I was 7 and he’s been a constant companion in my life for all of these years. He was so social and was always greeting you when you can home. About two years ago when I was home from school during winter break I noticed a tumor on his leg. The vet said it was cancerous yet it wouldn’t spread. My brave boy still jumped around even though he now has a limp. Over the past two days my mom and dad noticed a drastic change in his behavior. He wasn’t eating or moving. They took him to the vet this morning and they said there was nothing else to do. He was suffering. I know my baby needed to be put out of the pain he was feeling. It’s been devastating. All day I’ve been crying and looking at pictures thinking that when I go home next he won’t be there to greet me. I’m struggling with these feelings. I miss him so much already and having a wonderful pet since childhood and in adulthood now gone has been painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MelsGone Posted February 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 I am sorry to hear of the loss of your childhood companion. Oh yes, this is very painful. But know that your baby is no longer suffering. 16 years is a long time to share with your special friend & though he may not be there to to greet you when you go home, he lives forever in your heart - yes? I know there are no words to ease the sadness you feel, but in time your tears will be replaced by smiles with the fond memories of the moments the two of you shared. I’m sure of this, although I’m still shedding tears of my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 7, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 Thank you for your kind words @MelsGone. Although he is not here physically I know his soul lives within me and we will be reunited again one day. It’s just been hard coming to terms with the fact that he was apart of my entire childhood and now he’s gone so quickly. I’m hoping like you said as time moves forward my tears will stop I hope they will stop for you too. Much love <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 8, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes still over the loss of him. Today I believe is going to be harder. I have to go to work (since the day of his passing was a snow day) and the thought of putting on a smile and being present sounds difficult. Thank you all for listening to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 8, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 LP&Treats, I am so sorry. I'm way older than you, but I remember all too well when my childhood dog was put to sleep, I was five when I got him and 15 years later my parents had him put to sleep without telling me first. He didn't have anything terminal, he was just getting old, I never got to say goodbye. It's hard when they've been there all our lives and then they aren't. It's hard to go to our family home and not have them there. My heart goes out to you as you deal with this loss. It's especially hard to try to put on an "I'm okay" face at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted February 8, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 So sorry you lost your kitty. It's crazy how sudden illness is with cats, they hide it well for a while and then once discovered it is usually pretty bad. Sorry you have to work. I hope maybe having the distraction will help, but I know you are so so sad. That is normal, just let yourself as much and whenever you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 8, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 2 hours ago, KayC said: LP&Treats, I am so sorry. I'm way older than you, but I remember all too well when my childhood dog was put to sleep, I was five when I got him and 15 years later my parents had him put to sleep without telling me first. He didn't have anything terminal, he was just getting old, I never got to say goodbye. It's hard when they've been there all our lives and then they aren't. It's hard to go to our family home and not have them there. My heart goes out to you as you deal with this loss. It's especially hard to try to put on an "I'm okay" face at work. @KayC thank you for your kind words. You hit the nail on the head about how I’m feeling about them being present all of our lives. I currently live in DC and my family is in NY and I’m unsure of when I’ll be going home next but I can’t imagine his things not around or even him! The pain is difficult and my brave face at work is slowly going away. I am grateful for all the wonderful memories but as we all say we wish we had more time! Much love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 8, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 @AJWCat it is hard and they must hide it well. This last two days he wasn’t eating or drinking. I know he lived a long and beautiful life but I’m not ready to let that go and for it to just be a memory now. Last I saw him was over the Christmas break. I wish I had another chance to be with him... Work is difficult. I told a few people and although they were kind I’m not sure if they fully understand the capacity of what I’m feeling. My parents have been very loving and are feeling the same emotions but they live far away so I can’t see them. Thank you for your kind words as I know you lost your cat suddenly too as I read your post last night. I hope I can give you back kind words as well because I know that although it’s fresh there will always be a place in our hearts for our kitties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted February 8, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Hey, yeah unless someone lives w/ you and your pet and gets it or like us here do, friends/family/co-workers, most don't understand the deep grief you are really in. Yep, kitties in our hearts forever. My heart has whiskers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 8, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 3 hours ago, AJWCat said: Yep, kitties in our hearts forever. My heart has whiskers. I love that @AJWCat before he passed away my mom made me a Shutterfly bracelet with his picture on a little charm. I wear it everyday! Not sure if you follow (myfosterkittens) on instagram but the woman who rescues kittens and cats posted a photo of a cat she loved dearly that had the same name as my cat who also went to the rainbow bridge yesterday. Maybe it’s a sign? I’m not sure. But thank you again for all the love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted February 9, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2018 How nice! I don't follow her but weirdly the exact same thing happened to me, I found someone on IG who had the same name as my cat. I was looking for past pics of him and stumbled onto this girl's profile - she used the same hashtag for her cat as I did (weird too!) AND, her kitty passed one month and one day after mine. Happy to lend love and support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 9, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 9, 2018 19 hours ago, AJWCat said: My heart has whiskers. I love that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 9, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2018 I think they are looking down at us! I found some great videos and I decided to write down every memory of my Lucky in a journal so I never forget. I even think of somethings randomly during the day and I have to write them down! I’m up to ten pages of beautiful memories! But the tears still continue and it’s been 2 full days. I don’t think it will get easier... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 10, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 10, 2018 It's painful I know but I think that's a great idea and very cathartic too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted February 10, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2018 Wonderful idea. I know the tears feel like they will never end. It seems this is the new normal for how life will be. I promise as sad as you are it will not continue this way. You will feel better - and then you might get hit with an unexpected wave of grief as if nothing changed. Our process and feelings are fluid. But you will tart to heal and I think this will help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 12, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 12, 2018 This weekend was okay. Friday was challenging but I made sure to fill my time with friends and other activities that would take my mind off of things. I still miss him a lot and like you said sometimes the sadness comes at unexpected times. I just love looking at pictures and sometimes it does not feel real because I have not yet been home to see the emptiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted February 12, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 12, 2018 I'm glad it was a little easier. I know when you go home it will be hard. It seems the loss comes in stages, and going home is one of yours. But at least you've had some time to process it. Hope you are doing okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 12, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 12, 2018 @AJWCat thanks for the love AJW.. I know it will be hard to go home. My mom picked up his ashes today. They gave us his ashes in a beautiful cherry colored urn where we can put his picture. On top of his urn is a statue of a cat with wings. The best thing they did though was take his paw print and put it into clay and we now have a mold of it. It makes my heart so happy that I have that now. I’m also so happy that he’s home, where he belongs. I hope your heart is happy today too, Even though it’s painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MelsGone Posted February 13, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 13, 2018 @LP&Treats It’s wonderful that they made a mold of his paw print! The words that “It makes my heart so happy...” are so very nice to see! You made me smile this morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 13, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 13, 2018 I'm so glad you got his paw prints, I've never had a vet do that for me and I'm glad some of them are doing that now. It's good to have something tangible to remember them by. All I have to remember Miss Mocha by is the love seat she shredded and the bathroom rug she used to spray. (She disappeared, I think a predator got her). Knowing where their final resting place is must bring some peace. I bought a memorial stone for Miss Mocha but of course I have no idea where her remains are, I've scoured the forest behind me. Wherever she is, I hope she knows how much I love and miss her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LP&Treats Posted February 15, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 @KayC I was completely surprised that the vet's office did that! It was a beautiful sentiment. I am so sorry about your angel Miss Mocha. Her disappearance is a tragedy. A memorial stone is a beautiful representative of her life and I hope it brings you a sense of comfort. Today marks one full week since my kitty went to the rainbow bridge. It still doesn't feel real... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 15, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 It takes much time to sink in. For the longest time I kept looking towards the patio door hoping to see her waiting to be let in, but alas I never saw her again. She was the sweetest most beautiful feminine cat with all her charm and I will always miss her. I'm sorry it's so hard, I know how hard it is to get it to sink in, it does take a good long while for us to grasp this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.