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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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Hey there,

 

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for here but maybe just writing out what’s happened is a start.

 

I’m 36. I lost my dad to suicide when I was 24. 10 years after that, my stepdad committed suicide in the exact same way. I don’t believe I ever really dealt with those losses. They were both very traumatic for me leading up to those results. On top of that, at the time of my stepdad’s death, I was dealing with some major, unbearable blows in my life already (and even more after that death). 2016 was the absolute worst year of my life and its incredibly hard to move past everything that happened.

 

No one I know in real life really understands what I went through (other than family but I don’t have anyone close in that area anymore). Friends have listened to the facts but honestly, they never knew how to react or what to say because they’ve never experienced loss at all, never mind in this way, times two.

 

I guess I’m hoping to connect with people that understand, get tips on how to deal with the vast array feelings that comes with losses like this (abandonment, extreme heartbreak, sadness, anger, anxiety, lack of trust, depression, feeling like you don’t matter, etc etc etc). Anything, really.

 

I often tell myself that it’s been 12 years and almost 2 years and I should have let it go by now but I can’t. I don’t focus on it daily but...I don’t know. Stuff is hard to navigate through. I’m an incredibly sensitive person, I’m emotional, sentimental and nostalgic which all seem to hinder rather than help the situation.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

-Melissa

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Dear Melissa,

I am so sorry for your losses. Sending you love and hugs. It is a lot for one person to go through. It might help to talk to a grief counsellor or join a support group in the community for additional help. Please know it takes a long time to work through all the raw feelings and try to make sense of our new reality. I also found these websites helpful.

What's Your Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

Grief in Common

Grief Share

The Grief Recovery Method

Legacy.com

Please know grief is a like wave. We try our best to carry on but there will always be times where it hits us hard. Because I'm  a sensitive person too, I have read that meditation or behaviour therapy might be good tools to help me cope.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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