grieving the loss of my sissy

[prayerwarriorfortiffany]

i lost my baby sister 9/24/17 from an overdose. she had her struggles for a little over 4 years. she unfortunately lost her battle. my brother found her in her bedroom after she was apparently dead for at least 9 hours. he said the imagine was unimaginable. he lives with that sight of seeing her that way. i feel so bad for him. i wish i knew what to say or do to help him. my mother is having a hard time as well since she has lost her baby. i am really the only one reaching out to people to talk with that have similar losses. i have recently joined a bunch of groups on Facebook for loss of a loved one or sibling. i find it a lot easier to talk to someone that has similar issues. i was attended therapy but i stopped going because i felt like i wasn't being heard and was told to move on. i felt like i was being treated as if she didn't mean anything because she was an addict. i was NOT ashamed of my sister at all. i will never be ashamed. no one is perfect, she just got swept away by the Satan drug, heroin. Fentanyl -laced things have become a bigger problem here in Wilmington. i know drugs are everywhere but i never thought i would be living in one of the cities that has one of the highest rates of ODs from opiates. its really sad. i miss my sister so much and I'm just reaching out to people that have lost their sibling to an addiction.  i know it doesn't get any easier..i just really miss her....

[Nicole-my grief journey]

My heart hurts for you. Everything that you have written is parallel to my experience. You have written feelings I have experienced. I, like your brother, am the one who found my brother when he died late November 2017 of a heroin fentanyl overdose. My brother was passed away for days. It is traumatic and I am here if you, or he need someone to listen or talk. My family and I have felt the stigma that comes from death due to heroin. Grieving takes a long time. People that push for you to be further along in your grief have no idea what this feels like. I’m sorry that the therapist did that because it’s so important for you to be able to navigate this with help. I have also had experience with different types of therapy and want to share that it sometimes takes going to a few therapists to find the right one. After several, I finally did find one who I connect with and I don’t know where I would be without him. He is a CBT, EMDR, family systems theory, addiction specialist among other things. But those might be things to look for when searching for a new one if you feel that you can find it in you to try again. I hope you will. Maybe you and your brother can even go together. I know sometimes it’s harder for guys to open up with emotions, so just reassure him you are there for him and open to talking about what he experienced and is feeling. I’m sure you already have, but remind him every so often (this is a long road of recovery we’re all on). My parents are in a lot of pain too. They are devastated and talk about how confusing it is because for three weeks before he seemed to be doing so well. The only thing I can do for them is listen and make sure they are eating and know they are loved and that it wasn’t their fault. I have to remind myself it wasn’t my fault too. Logically I know it wasn’t, but emotionally I feel so many things that it’s overwhelming. I agree it’s a Satan drug. I actually kept saying it was like a demon had taken over my brother. He didn’t want to die. Our siblings loved us. Tiffany and your family will be in my prayers.