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My sister, Donna


KayC

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Oh no!! KayC.  I'm so sorry. So very sorry for Donna. I know this probably means very little, but she is resting now. You gave all of us her life story and it was painful. I'm sure Donna wanted to rest. Is us the ones the stay behind that feel devastated. 

God bless you for all the pain that you have been thru in your life, for the so many losses in your life and the strength you have to continue getting up every day and and helping some of us. You might not think so, but you have helped me a lot.  Donna is your guardian angel now. She will take care of you. 

 

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Hi Kay, I had never heard of the term catalytic combuster.It sounds complicated but I get the impression it is something you need to keep your house warm when you are not there.You are newly grieving (again) and we all know what that does to you.You forget, you can't think straight and things that used to be a routine have suddenly become complicated.

I hope you have a nice time with your son and grandkids this Friday.You can't beat having caring family around you.

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They call it catalytic compressor in a car, but in a wood stove it's catalytic combuster.  This is my only source of heat.  It still works but not as efficiently as before.  With a crack in it, it means it will burn cooler so I'll go through more wood, and it might not be as clean as before, although I still don't see smoke out my chimney so I don't think it was damaged that badly.  With one of these new wood stoves, there are clear vapors out the chimney but not smoke.  Last year with my old wood stove I went through $1500 in wood, with my new one I'll burn about $600 in wood.during the season.  So it was a pretty big mistake to make, my son said it's about $300 for a new one and he can put it in, thankfully.

We paid for the cremation now so they can go forward with it, just waiting to hear back from them.  It feels weird to be going through this again, last time it was my husband.  Before that, my little niece, she didn't quite make it to two.

It will be good to see my son and grandkids, it's a long drive so it'll be good to not have to do it in one day. 

I've notice my brain not working right, but it should start to settle down some.  Last weekend was just really hard.

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Brain still is not working right, I can't believe I did it again!  Oh well, will just have to spring for a new Catalytic Combuster if need be, can't worry about it.  I hope my brain engages sometime soon!

We scheduled a memorial service for my sister for April 25th.  Not sure how it'll go, there won't be anyone officiating, just close family and caregivers, potluck, at a park with covered picnic tables.  Never had something done this way before.

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Wow...so it appears I've lost what I went through in the loss of my sister Donna, and her "remembrance" Wednesday.  

We shared positive things we remembered about her, how smart she was, witty, her amazing sense of humor, which she never lost.  It was good for her biological son, Mick, to hear these things...my parents adopted him and my mom was jealous because he was Donna's biological son so she said horrible things about her to him as he was growing up.  For once in his life he can hear the true story, how Donna loved her children, but when she had her accident 50 years ago she could no longer care for herself, let alone him (he was four months old).  He got to hear all of the amazing things about her, which was good for him to hear.

One of the most amazing things to me is that she learned to focus on the good that is rather than merely lamenting what isn't...the art of being content, the key to resilience.  It took her a good long while, it didn't just come automatically...grief is a process and she not only lost her ability to walk and function, to communicate, to eat without choking and aspirating, but she lost her three year old son, Jimmy in the same accident.  To see how my sister lived out her life, her attitude, her humor, it brings me to tears, she was inspiring.

Here is a picture of us siblings at her memorial (I'm in the middle):
 

Donna's Memorial.jpg

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