Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Recommended Posts

I'm planning to have a baby soon and one of my fears is that I might die before the kid grows up. My main concern is not being there for him or her while the kid grows up and provide guidance and direction. It's not fair on a kid to grow up with out a mom or dad.

Would be be insensitive if I created a collage about myself with some nuggets of personal wisdom and ask a lawyer to to give to the child on his or her 18th birthday, say if something where to happen to me before then? Do you know anyone tried doing something similar before? Would it freak the kid out if they got something like this from a dead person? Could something like this have a negative effect on people who have gone past the grieving process and moved on? 

I'm not even sure if this is the right forum for this. :S

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sugartree714,

I don't think this is morbid; in fact, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. You could create one and give it to your child yourself when she/he becomes an adult. It may strengthen your relationship as you both learn how to become friends as adults. 

ModKonnie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for your support ModKonnie.  :) I just hope it won't upset her/him if I say something did happen to me and it brought back upsetting memories of my death. On the other hand, could it help with part of the grieving process if they received the collage right after my death? I wonder how many people out there might have tried doing this. 

This topic is hard to talk about in real life. :S

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, if I could have had a collage from my father explaining who he is from the time I was born--I would have found that to be the most precious gift he ever gave me. I would love to know what my mother was thinking about and feeling and doing when she was young. 

So, I think the good would outweigh the possible negatives...

ModKonnie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of my most cherished things is a memory book my mother made for me. I look at it a lot! She also did them for all of my brothers and I just discovered a heritage album she made. I love them and it grounds me to see pictures and know about all my family members. I’ve had two brothers pass away and their books help me to remember good times instead of always thinking about how things happened and why. Especially in times of feeling alone or needing to connect. If there is someone you trust and is good at talking and listening, I would give the book to them to pass a long. That way if your child has questions or strong feelings when receiving their book, they have someone there to listen and go over things with.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×